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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP angry with me over University Challenge

241 replies

Teachingquestion · 16/07/2025 07:29

I wish I was joking.
I don't really care about university challenge at all. DP likes it. He watches it and tries see how many he can score. Normally I am just sitting there/having a cuppa , watching rather than answering all the questions. I just don't find quizzes that interesting. Last night, he asked me to join in. I did and I got double his amount of points. He said "oh for fucks sake don't win now just because you've decided to "
I know this sounds really trivial, but he had this look of absolute disdain on his face. Like a deep resentment. I am intelligent and in a good job that uses it, but I was only able to do that due to a good school being concerned with social mobility. My parents are intelligent but undereducated (again social mobility issues) I have friends of all types of intelligence and although I'm proud of my achievements, it's not the biggest thing for me. Also whisper I don't think university challenge is that hard, most of the time it's quite general knowledge put in a wordy question.
Dunno what my AIbU is really, just want a rant!

OP posts:
myplace · 16/07/2025 08:27

Teachingquestion · 16/07/2025 08:18

I love learning for its own sake and this thread has reminded me of my book. When I was younger, mum took us to the library a lot and I had a little notebook that if I saw something on telly , or there was a reference in a book I was reading that I wanted to know more about/a famous painting mentioned that I wanted to look up etc or a piece of music , I would write it in my notebook and go and then go to the library and look everything up and make notes. This will age me but I remember looking up every reference In that song "we didn't start the fire" (after taping it off the radio and slowly copying it out having no idea how to spell half of it 😀 )

I love the internet for this. I’m in and out of my phone looking things up and my multidirectional brain can fill out its mind maps at will. Love it.

How old are you, by the way? Sadly my always unreliable memory fell off a cliff with peri.

My gut instinct is great, informed by all the stuff I have known but know no longer 🤣.

3luckystars · 16/07/2025 08:27

You should buy that t shirt from LastExittonowhere from the young ones , it has ‘scumbag college’ written on it for University Challenge.
I have been eyeing it up for ages.
It’s so funny and it might make light of the (very weird) situation.

Lighteningstrikes · 16/07/2025 08:28

He should be very proud of you, and not resent you.

Sadly I don’t know what you can do about that.(apart from thrash him every single time 😎).

Xyloplane · 16/07/2025 08:28

He was hoping to humiliate you and got angry at not being able to. What a bastard. I would have to bring it up OP and ask him why he reacted in that way because it is worrying.

So many men seem to feel emasculated by their partner’s intelligence. It’s misogynistic.

Serpentstooth · 16/07/2025 08:29

You need better intellectual stimulation OP, you're obviously clever but unfulfilled. It's the fate of many women, born to stroke the male ego to support the fragile creatures by suppressing their own personalities. Difficult because, whatever you might choose to do, he will feel undermined. Looks like it's the safety of the WI for you. No calendars though.

WeirdyBeardyMarrowBabyLady · 16/07/2025 08:29

His fragile male ego has taken a bashing. In a normal healthy relationship this is a chance to take the piss relentlessly but it sounds like he wouldn’t react well so perhaps not.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 16/07/2025 08:31

Keep an eye on how he goes from here. He might laugh it off (but you will still know he's a poor loser) or apologise or continue to mutter or (worst case scenario) hold in over you like a perpetual grudge.

It's not so much what happened (anyone can be a sore loser sometimes), as how he treats his new knowledge that you can whip out general knowledge that he doesn't have, in future.

Zempy · 16/07/2025 08:32

First post nails it as usual.

YawYoreYourYoure · 16/07/2025 08:33

Do you mentally score 1 point for each correct answer, regardless if it's a starter or a bonus?
And do you have to get it before the teams for it to count, or do you allow yourself to get a point if you knew the answer but weren't quick enough?
Both have been points of contention while chatting round the water cooler before now and made comparing scores impossible!

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 16/07/2025 08:36

So he was expecting to lord it over you and was angry that he couldn’t. What a prick!

Glowingup · 16/07/2025 08:38

He hates you and sees himself as better than you. There are seriously so many men like this. It’s grim.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 16/07/2025 08:39

How horrible and deeply unattractive of him.

Why did he ask you to join in? Just so he could beat you? That’s nasty too.

I don’t think I could feel the same way about him after this.

I’d also be concerned by the look on his face.

And you’re right to be proud of being clever! Sounds like you have a wonderful Mum.

Newgirls · 16/07/2025 08:40

So what’s your plan op? Ask him to apologise? I reckon you could do better than him and perhaps if you’d have had a better education you might have met a nicer man but perhaps he has other qualities?

Original poster
Teachingquestion · 16/07/2025 08:41

Serpentstooth · 16/07/2025 08:29

You need better intellectual stimulation OP, you're obviously clever but unfulfilled. It's the fate of many women, born to stroke the male ego to support the fragile creatures by suppressing their own personalities. Difficult because, whatever you might choose to do, he will feel undermined. Looks like it's the safety of the WI for you. No calendars though.

no- I'm not unfulfilled at all! My job stretches my brain daily and I have some adjacent work projects that do too. I am also in a few hobby groups that use my intelligence. And I also have a very rich inner life where I read/ listen widely to interesting things. Also got clever colleagues to have good discussions with. Not tried WI- can't tell if you are being sarky/ sneery about it but I have heard it is quite good!

OP posts:
ConcernedOfClapham · 16/07/2025 08:41

Serpentstooth · 16/07/2025 08:01

Oh no! You've emasculated your husband. Off to the kitchen and make him a lovely cake, especially for him and iron a few shirts while you're there. To generalise OP, many men hate a clever, well informed woman, it makes them feel less than. You're just answering questions as you happen to know the answer. He thinks you're showing off to make him feel small because that's what he'd do if the positions were reversed. It's up to you. Have you the patience to manage this fool for many years, buttering up his ego for the sake of a quiet life? Rather you than me but there's a lot of them around.

Yes, also play again next week and get all the answers stupidly wrong, saying “oh dear me, I am a silly sausage. I genuinely thought that was right.” You can Pat him on the head when he gets one correct, look at him in a gushing manner and say “Goodness me, aren’t you clever? I really did marry the bestest brain in Barnstable*, didn’t I?” and then reward him with a kiss and cuddle afterwards.

Or you could just tell him to get the fuck over himself.

(*insert relevant geographical location of your choice)

WaitedBlankey · 16/07/2025 08:43

What a petty, insecure twerp he is!

PhoenixReincarnated · 16/07/2025 08:46

myplace · 16/07/2025 07:49

And having a good memory! I’m bright, curious, well read, acquire all sorts of interesting information…. And promptly forget it.

I agree with this. I'm generally very good at multiple choice questions but ask me a question and my brain shuts down. Mind you my brain is permanently mush atm 🙄

I agree with pps who say he wanted to thrash you and lord it over you.

StrawberryCranberry · 16/07/2025 08:46

What a Neanderthal. He can't bear a woman being more intelligent than him. I would be seriously pissed off about this OP.

VickyEadieofThigh · 16/07/2025 08:50

I find it varies week by week. Some weeks I find I can get quite a lot of right answers but others, not many at all. On a week where there are plenty of literature, history, politics etc questions - I'm on fire!

If it's a week heavy on maths and physics, I'm a bit of a dunce!

5foot5 · 16/07/2025 08:52

We shout out any answers we know but have never tried to keep score.

In Mastermind I sometimes try to keep track of how well I do on each general knowledge round because I think that's a bit easier.

However, on Only Connect I am usually satisfied if I get only one or two?

LlynTegid · 16/07/2025 08:54

A bad loser.

Probably supports a football team just because they won trophies when growing up, if he has an interest in football.

lazyarse123 · 16/07/2025 08:55

Teachingquestion · 16/07/2025 08:18

I love learning for its own sake and this thread has reminded me of my book. When I was younger, mum took us to the library a lot and I had a little notebook that if I saw something on telly , or there was a reference in a book I was reading that I wanted to know more about/a famous painting mentioned that I wanted to look up etc or a piece of music , I would write it in my notebook and go and then go to the library and look everything up and make notes. This will age me but I remember looking up every reference In that song "we didn't start the fire" (after taping it off the radio and slowly copying it out having no idea how to spell half of it 😀 )

I love this. I like it when dh drives because I never stop looking around and always Google if I see interesting things. I also enjoy reading which helps.
I used to have a good general knowledge, it's getting harder to find it in my brain these days but I try.
I went to a quiz night with colleagues and I did really well and the shock from them. One of them was telling others we work with how shocked she was. I was a bit offended if I'm honest.
Ops dh is a twat.

User37482 · 16/07/2025 08:57

Lots of men believe they are smarter than their girlfriends and wives. I would probably think of this as something that shows you who he really is.

5foot5 · 16/07/2025 08:58

BTW I know someone who was on a team that got to the audition stage for UC. They, as a team, reckoned they had a good general knowledge but were very heavily skewed towards music and the arts and seriously lacking in the sciences; however, they were from an institution that had never appeared before so we're hoping that would swing it for them. It didn't.

luckylavender · 16/07/2025 08:59

DH & I always watch University Challenge & ever so occasionally he will say ‘how do you know that?’ In a condescending tone. I always slap him down. Happened this week. Not even difficult. Everyone knows David Lynch was in Twin Peaks, right?