To not want MIL to “redo” our baby’s name with her priest?

[Bobcomp]

Bit of a weird one. MIL is super Catholic, we’re not religious at all. DH was raised that way but doesn’t really practise anymore. We had a low-key christening for DD (2mo) at our local church - not mega religious, just more of a naming and welcome thing really. We chose her name together - it’s a bit modern but nothing out there. MIL smiled through gritted teeth at the time but didn’t say much.

Fast forward to now - she’s apparently gone and spoken to her priest (very traditional Catholic church she still goes to), and arranged for him to do a “proper” blessing in a couple of weeks. Only she’s told us she’ll be using DD’s middle name during it, because “it’s more suitable for a Christian child” and “closer to the saints”.

She says it’s not a big deal - that it’s just a personal thing between her and God and she’s not trying to change anything officially. But it feels really off to me. She’s literally taking it upon herself to get our daughter re-blessed with a different name because she doesn’t like the one we picked.

DH thinks it’s daft but harmless - says let her crack on, it’s just her being dramatic and it’s not like it’ll go on any documents. But I feel like it’s crossing a line? Like she’s trying to override us or pretend she’s the one naming our child? I don’t want this to turn into some weird power thing where she starts calling DD by her middle name and acting like that’s her “real” name.

Also worth saying - she didn’t even tell us until it was already arranged. Just dropped it in like an FYI on Sunday after church, said we’re “welcome to come” but it’s “mainly for the family and Father Liam”.

AIBU to think this is weird as hell and not ok? Or should I just ignore it and let her have her moment? It’s messing with my head more than it probably should.

My goodness, your MIL is a one!!

I'm so glad you shut it down thoroughly. I hope she gets over it quetly, although suspect she probably won't. You've absolutely done the right thing.

the child has already been baptised into an Anglican church. The Mil was there and knows this.

Are you joking? It’s an absolute bloody outrage that she’s done this. The child has already been christened! Who does this woman think she is? Also SEE THE UPDATES.

Honestly, it’s doing me in 🤣

No! There are endless repetitive posts from people who can’t be arsed to read the OP’s posts and see the situation was resolved in full, yesterday.

Right. This was so brazen and so overbearing that I'd be quite worried about what's to come, and even more worried that her husband did not have her back until it became clear he couldn't get out of it.

Is the child baptised? If so, it can’t be done twice.
Under no circumstances can a priest baptise with the authorisation of both parents. What exactly is MIL doing ? Is the baby just being blessed?

But she doesn't believe in that baptism. This goes very deep for some people. Her believing the child is not baptised will eat away at her. I'm just giving MIL's thought process behind this. There is fear, and because of this her behaviour may seem irrational.

I was so fucking mad when I saw "chill". Proves that this is just Eastenders on the net for some, forgettting that there are real people behind it.

It genuinely worries me how fucking stupid some people are.

BTW, we REALLY need a catch up!

On the batshit in-laws front, this really does take the communion wafer. Well done for standing your ground. Great to have DH on board and Fr Liam sounds like he has the measure of MIL.
I am with you 100%. But I do have a sneaking admiration for the complete audacity of MIL to rearrange the christening and rename the baby in line with her desires. She clearly thought she just might get away with it.

CustardySergeant, who are you, the thread police? 🙄

Doesn't matter how the MIL feels about it, and fortunately the OP has already stopped her plan.

Who are you? The person who didnt get the job as village idiot through being over qualified?!

WTF? 😂🤣😂

The global authority of her church and her own parish priest do believe in that baptism.

Absolutely not! It's not her place. It's a hard NO.

Well done OP. I’m glad you have kept your anger and got your DH and the priest on board. I’m surprised you’ve not heard from MIL yet….i can’t imagine she’ll just accept this and let it go, so baton down the hatches! There’s no way someone like that is going to see what they were doing wrong.

Does Dr. Sacre want to baptise the kid too?

If this is true, then no it is not on, and also it is not normal (and my wife and I are British and Irish Catholics in our 50s, so I know whereof I speak).

In any event, at the end of the day, it's your and your partner's child, and if you don't feel comfortable with this peculiar and exclusionary carry-on, don't let your child be taken to it. Your MIL's views, however strongly held, do not override your own.

I have only read your posts, OP, not all the others, but as a devout Catholic I can confirm that it’s completely nuts that MIL would think it appropriate to have some sort of second baptism or try to usurp your role as parents in any way. You get to decide all this, not her, and in any case the Catholic Church recognises CofE baptism as completely valid. I’m glad the priest understood and called it all off.

What does she mean you are ‘welcome to come’ how does she intend to get your daughter from you? I literally would not be handing my baby over to this woman - you need to set some firm boundaries sharpish. It’s totally not acceptable.

They pick a saints name for their confirmation not their communion.

I have reported @mesd’s comment.

This hasn't changed my view that MIL shouldn't have arranged it behind your back and certainly shouldn't be using her middle name, but sounds a bit hypocritical that you had her Christened in your family's church but won't allow a blessing in her Catholic church. I think I now would go ahead with a "blessing" but using DD full given name as registered at birth.