To not want MIL to “redo” our baby’s name with her priest?

[Bobcomp]

Bit of a weird one. MIL is super Catholic, we’re not religious at all. DH was raised that way but doesn’t really practise anymore. We had a low-key christening for DD (2mo) at our local church - not mega religious, just more of a naming and welcome thing really. We chose her name together - it’s a bit modern but nothing out there. MIL smiled through gritted teeth at the time but didn’t say much.

Fast forward to now - she’s apparently gone and spoken to her priest (very traditional Catholic church she still goes to), and arranged for him to do a “proper” blessing in a couple of weeks. Only she’s told us she’ll be using DD’s middle name during it, because “it’s more suitable for a Christian child” and “closer to the saints”.

She says it’s not a big deal - that it’s just a personal thing between her and God and she’s not trying to change anything officially. But it feels really off to me. She’s literally taking it upon herself to get our daughter re-blessed with a different name because she doesn’t like the one we picked.

DH thinks it’s daft but harmless - says let her crack on, it’s just her being dramatic and it’s not like it’ll go on any documents. But I feel like it’s crossing a line? Like she’s trying to override us or pretend she’s the one naming our child? I don’t want this to turn into some weird power thing where she starts calling DD by her middle name and acting like that’s her “real” name.

Also worth saying - she didn’t even tell us until it was already arranged. Just dropped it in like an FYI on Sunday after church, said we’re “welcome to come” but it’s “mainly for the family and Father Liam”.

AIBU to think this is weird as hell and not ok? Or should I just ignore it and let her have her moment? It’s messing with my head more than it probably should.

The whole thing is super weird, not just the name part. Wouldnt want to let her get on with it. Wouldnt be handing over a young baby anyway.

My mate had this. Couldn’t leave her child with her mum because she knew she’d be running off to the priest to baptise her. She now gone NC. Nuts, completely nuts

Deeply weird and insensitive to boundaries.

They are the same thing

Glad to read your updates as I found it very odd the priest would do this without contact with the parents. Baptism is not something to be taken lightly, it's not just a family occasion. I really think it's ridiculous to get your children baptised if you aren't religious and don't intend on taking them to church. You could just have a party if that's what you want. Your Mil is also totally unhinged!!

Chill.

Contact the priest and cancel.

Forget the laughing emoji being removed, think we need an eye rolly one for every single post where its clear that have just read the OP and nothing more!

Its the text equivelant of liking the sound of their own voices and not being at all interested in the other half of the dialogue.

Oh what a good idea, imagine if the OP had thought of this!!!

Hint....she did

It’s good that the priest called you back and won’t do the religious process. I’d say to tell your Mil to back off. Tell her that she’ll only be seeing your child when your child is with you.

I haven’t read all the comments. Yes your MIL is slightly crazy. But it does sound like she just wants a blessing or welcome to the Catholic Church. My husband is Catholic, our children were baptised Catholic because it’s important to him. I’m CofE and my vicar did a special blessing and welcome to our church family during the service. None of our family or friends (other than my church friends) were there, not even the godparents. Could it be something like that?

Glad to see this is resolved.

Hope all goes well with MIL moving forward!

whatever it was, it was arranged behind the parents' backs and it sounds like she actually misled the priest too. I'd call that more than slightly crazy.

oh you mustn't say that, let alone advise RTFT. I got told off for it earlier 😂

I don't understand this though she was baptised I church. How can it not be a proper baptism and can someone be baptised twice?

it is a "proper baptism" The actual global RC church and the Anglican Communion recognise any baptism that includes the use of water, an invocation to the Trinity and intention of the celebrant.

Outrageous behaviour! She is your daughter and not her child. I am a grandparent and I can't believe that a grandmother would behave like this.

I’m honestly a bit lost for words at the audacity. Love Fr Liam! Be prepared to put very strong boundaries in place. It may take a while for her to understand you have the right to your own opinion. Sending you strength and patience

THIS ^
Totally unhinged and wildly inappropriate.
Taking your baby elsewhere without you.
Father Liam needs to be advised of your position - that she has organised this before asking you and that she is wanting to use a different name (first name).

I say this as someone raised as devout Catholic. I can't imagine any of them agreeing with this, nor any of the priests agreeing to it either. This woman is delusional.

When my mum was christened she was christened Marie as her name wasn't a saints name. This was during WW2. These days children tend to use their own names but can choose (for themselves) a saints name at their 1st communion. They are still known by their original name though. Never caused my mum any issues. Think it's more about MIL respecting your wishes though. She needs to know this is your child, and you are in charge.

She thinks she's saving your daughters soul. I think I'd let her as to be honest it wouldn't impact me. But then again, I'm Catholic.
I dont think she'd be brazen enough to call your daughter by her middle name. Perhaps in her own head she'll stamp the holier name to her head but not publicly.
If it means that much to her, I'd let her. But I wouldn't let her interfere in other ways. I am a Catholic though and believe there is a grace in baptism.

I was brought up Catholic and have a brother who is a priest. He would never do a Catholic christening without the parents consent. Grandparents may want it but it is up to the parents to ask for it. I would speak to the priest.

🙄🙄🙄

Omg. Can’t you just read the OP’s posts?