To get irrationally angry at train behaviour

[MisanthropeLikely]

I'm not an angry person, but I'm thinking I might be becoming a Victor Meldrew when travelling. Particularly by train. Particularly long distance. Specific behaviour that enrages me:

1. People that have loud phone conversations or video calls on trains

1. People on long train journeys with limited space in the luggage rack who selfishly put their small bags on it rather than in the overhead, meaning people with larger cases have no space to put it

1. People who spend ages farting around standing in the aisle during boarding so no one can pass.

1. People who act like it's the Olympic 100m in their rush to get off

1. Men who manspread into the aisle

1. People who sit on your reserved seat and then refuse to move.

1. Lone travellers who take up 4 seater sections, preventing people in groups from sitting together

1. People who ostentatiously poo on trains. I mean, I get you sometimes have to go but some of the things people do are disgusting

1. Listening to music or watching videos with no headphones

10. Train stations that are massive but wait until 10 minutes before the train to tell you your platform so you need to have a stress race to make it with your bags.

11. People who wont move their bags off seats on an obviously full train.

I get irrationally angry about this stuff. My worst ever experiences were:

I was on a train once and this man had vrazely taken our reserved seats despite them being marked reserved and other empty seats. He'd set himself up some kind of fucking buffet on our table with a cloth and everything, then when I politely asked him to move, he told me to go and sit somewhere else because I was disturbing his meal.

Another time I was boarding a eurostar in an intense heatwave after a huge delay. It was roasting, I'd been standing at the gate for two solid hours in menopause sweats with a load of heavy bags. They started boarding. It's about 29 steps down to the platform, and a ramp os provided for people with luggage. The attendant was at the top of the ramp telling everyone who did not have luggage to take the stairs.

Anyway, there I am struggling to keep ny heavy suitcase from rolling right down the ramp and taking me with it, and some woman with no luggage at all aside from her small handbag decided to walk down the luggage ramp and overtake everyone on the inside. As there was no space, she moved her legs into my suitcase and then shouted at me "YOUR SUITCASE IS ON MY LEGS, WHY DONT YOU WATCH WHERE YIUR GOING"

I flushed bright red and said "I'm going downhill with a heavy bag I can barely control, multiple other bags and you walked into me trying to overtske", she turned and sniggered at me. A real deep, patronising snigger.

I still hold a grudge a year later.

Does anyone else experience these feelings or is it just me? I am petrified of flying so travel extensively by rail and I am at a point where I don't enjoy travelling because I feel so irrationally cross at inconsiderate and rude people.

Anyone else?

You’re not alone! I am also a monster in such circumstances! 👿🧌👿

I'm with you apart from the solo travellers at tables for 4 bit. I'm currently sat at one (where my reserved seat is). I have a regular long train journey, I need to work on it, the fold down tables dont work well for laptops, and I'm not using space beyond my seat. There is a man at opposite me and we are politely cohabiting! I actually resent people in groups off on a jolly expecting me to move because "they're travelling together". I politely decline. They are also capable of booking seats together.

I’m a regular solo traveller, DH hates train travel for many of the reasons listed by the OP! I want to quietly read, or just relax. But mainly I want to sit. Bags on seats are the epitome of selfishness on a busy train. Noisy phones, loud conversations, including performance parenting, don’t add to the ambience! Even worse when they’re happening in the so called ‘quiet’ coach.

As a kid in the 1950s and 60s our family travelled by train for our summer holidays every year. I remember it being a pleasant, stress free experience. There was an unspoken code of behaviour which has been eroded to the point where the most selfish and unaware spoil daily life for so many of us.

Last weekend, train to Gatwick, disruptions, lots of luggage.., and this couple sitting diagonally in a 4 with their bags on the 2 spare seats 🙄
I asked them to move so DS and I could sit. They did, slowly, but stayed sat diagonally so DS and I also had to - I wondered if it was a passive aggressive move to annoy us.
And the man kept yawning without putting his hand in front of his mouth - cherry on top!

It's really twatty to think solo travellers don't deserve comfort or the use of a table.

Out of interest, have you ever seen a woman do this? Show-offy sneezing, yes. But not the yaaaaaawning and stretching show

I would also like to add to the list:

People who dont take their rubbish away and abandon it on the train. It's littering FFS. Nothing worse than having to move someone's empty crisp packet and finding a can rolling around on the floor of the carriage, dribbling sticky liquid everywhere.

I agree with most things except the 4 seater things. Im often having to work on a train (no meetings just writing documrnts). The tables are much better.

Brilliantly written @MisanthropeLikely 😀😂

Agree. If I line traveller should be sitting at a non 4 seater, why groups can’t sit 2 by 2? Trains aren’t a restaurant or pub to call it ‘most communal place’, they are means of public transport. Why should I be uncomfortable just because I happen to travel alone??

Yeah this is what I mean. I will concede people have made good points about needing to work buy if there's no reserved seating I don't think you should create a hostile environment to dissuade others from sitting with you.

But equally, it IS a shared space and you can't expect it to be as quiet and to your liking as your living room. I think the "self" culture getting worse is true but it works both ways. People are less considerate of others but also less tolerant of others. The combination of the two results in unreasonable levels of ire because other people simply exist in their space. Taking your coat off before getting into a window seat where space is cramped and awkward takes seconds but is apparently a terrible crime.

I was boarding a train some years ago and my mobility at the time was very restricted due to a complex injury and a long leg brace. Consequently, I needed to use both hand rails and carefully climb the steps…….a woman behind me was tutting and sighing the whole time and I seriously lost it! I stopped mid steps, turned around, looked her straight in the face and said very loudly “ look Mrs, you can tut and sign all you like……but it won’t make me move any faster, now SHUT UP! “ I got a round of applause from the very patient passengers also waiting to board! It felt SO good!

Exactly. If that's my allocated reserved seat that's where I'll be sitting.

It's clearly not what you meant. You said any solo traveller sitting in a four-seater is selfish and groups are more important.

As I said, people have made good points so I'm coming around on it, provided they understand groups are welcome to share.

I'm generally a solo traveller for work, and need to get stuff done on longish train journeys - the journey is generally part of my daily work, not a commute. If I need to do work on my laptop, I book a table seat, and I use a quarter of the table - unlike the other people around me. My lap top has narrowly escaped ill-mannered & badly parented children's attempts to throw orange juice or food, or stupid other passengers tipping their coffee everywhere (both things happen with regularity on long CrossCountry journeys).

It's not me treating the whole table as if it's mine - so I tend to try to book an airline window seat, as being on a table is cramped & I'm subject to other people's selfishness.

But the ditherers who block aisles, the people who cannot - or do not want - to read reservation signs above seats & sit in my reserved seat, the manspreading, the people who don't use headphones ...

Passengers on CrossCountry tend to be the worst, as the conditions on those trains are so crowded and unpleasant. CrossCountry got rid of its Quiet carriage because they couldn't be arsed to try to keep it quiet. And I've been in First Class (for the quiet & to get work done) when it's been invaded by smoking & drinking louts - no train manager in sight. I avoid CRossCountry trains whenever possible.

If I buy a train ticket I'm allocated a reserved seat. If I choose a seat with a table that's what I might be given. I don't specifically choose a 4 seater table.

This one is really niche, and IMO bordering on fetish behaviour, but it's happened to me a few times.

Relatively empty train
Loads of completely empty 2 seaters everywhere
No seat reservations

So you think this is the jackpot. Luxury. You're going to be able to legitimately claim 2 seater as there's ample for everyone to have their own.

And someone comes and asks you to move your bag so they can sit next to you. I can't comprehend why they don't go and sit in one if the 20 empty 2 seaters .

What's going on with that?

That's nopt what you said. You said that the inappropriateness of single passengers at a table for 4 was a hill you would die on.

YANBU train travel is making me angry and angrier, I never drive on principle and in any case need to travel on the train so I can work on the way to wherever I’m going, but people these days are really disgusting. My number one issue is people playing loud TikToks and Reels, but all the other stuff you’ve mentioned too

No it's not what you meant. Stop back tracking.

As someone who routinely sits at a table in order to work, it has never crossed my mind to think that others are not 'welcome to share'. This is an idea YOU have formed which bears no relation to what others are thinking, so you shouldn't have to be 'coming around to it'. I think this illustrates that you are being misanthropic as you are assuming the worst of people on the basis of no evidence. I can't think of a single time I've sat at a table with another person who was sitting there alone, and experienced any sense of grumpiness that they expected to be left alone and have the four seats to themselves. It's just not the given etiquette.

You sound a bit of a nightmare yourself.

This is why I upgrade when possible - but I don’t think all lines have this Standard Premier concept.