To get irrationally angry at train behaviour

[MisanthropeLikely]

I'm not an angry person, but I'm thinking I might be becoming a Victor Meldrew when travelling. Particularly by train. Particularly long distance. Specific behaviour that enrages me:

1. People that have loud phone conversations or video calls on trains

1. People on long train journeys with limited space in the luggage rack who selfishly put their small bags on it rather than in the overhead, meaning people with larger cases have no space to put it

1. People who spend ages farting around standing in the aisle during boarding so no one can pass.

1. People who act like it's the Olympic 100m in their rush to get off

1. Men who manspread into the aisle

1. People who sit on your reserved seat and then refuse to move.

1. Lone travellers who take up 4 seater sections, preventing people in groups from sitting together

1. People who ostentatiously poo on trains. I mean, I get you sometimes have to go but some of the things people do are disgusting

1. Listening to music or watching videos with no headphones

10. Train stations that are massive but wait until 10 minutes before the train to tell you your platform so you need to have a stress race to make it with your bags.

11. People who wont move their bags off seats on an obviously full train.

I get irrationally angry about this stuff. My worst ever experiences were:

I was on a train once and this man had vrazely taken our reserved seats despite them being marked reserved and other empty seats. He'd set himself up some kind of fucking buffet on our table with a cloth and everything, then when I politely asked him to move, he told me to go and sit somewhere else because I was disturbing his meal.

Another time I was boarding a eurostar in an intense heatwave after a huge delay. It was roasting, I'd been standing at the gate for two solid hours in menopause sweats with a load of heavy bags. They started boarding. It's about 29 steps down to the platform, and a ramp os provided for people with luggage. The attendant was at the top of the ramp telling everyone who did not have luggage to take the stairs.

Anyway, there I am struggling to keep ny heavy suitcase from rolling right down the ramp and taking me with it, and some woman with no luggage at all aside from her small handbag decided to walk down the luggage ramp and overtake everyone on the inside. As there was no space, she moved her legs into my suitcase and then shouted at me "YOUR SUITCASE IS ON MY LEGS, WHY DONT YOU WATCH WHERE YIUR GOING"

I flushed bright red and said "I'm going downhill with a heavy bag I can barely control, multiple other bags and you walked into me trying to overtske", she turned and sniggered at me. A real deep, patronising snigger.

I still hold a grudge a year later.

Does anyone else experience these feelings or is it just me? I am petrified of flying so travel extensively by rail and I am at a point where I don't enjoy travelling because I feel so irrationally cross at inconsiderate and rude people.

Anyone else?

Another wee gripe, about any mode of public travel, backpacks. If the carriage or bus or tram is crowded, be aware of others. Some people don’t seem to realise that a space that they might fit into, won’t accommodate them and their (oversized) backpack. Sitting on a busy bus a few days ago a guy caught my head, and that of another passenger, with his backpack as he pushed in. He seemed totally oblivious.

I hope you told them! The oversized massive backpacks give me the rage when someone smacks me in the face or shoulders with one. And they’re usually packed full of hard/ heavy items!

Then the yahoos with the kids should have thought ahead and reserved appropriate / suitable seating and not be expecting someone who has been organised to move.

I am one of your yahoos who often books a table, window seat, facing forward so I can (a) work and (b) keep the travel sickness at bay. If I’ve booked it, paid for it, then I ain’t moving. Table seats were NOT just designed for families 😂

This!

You should teach him how to behave in a social setting.

This. There used to be a time where only tables had chargers so I used to request a front facing window seat with a charger and often got the table seat. I did however once offer to swap with someone who was with a group but he was sat on his own behind us. They were incredibly grateful and said how kind I was. I said it was self preservation as being in the middle of a group of people handing food around and talking over me was less pleasant than sitting in the single seat . They did agree to charge my phone though and offered me some of their crisps😂.

Do you realise how difficult it is to teach someone with ASD anything? Wow! Just wow at your comment! Not that I’m agreeing that table seats are for families only because they aren’t but your ignorance about thinking everyone has normal functioning brains is absolutely ridiculous! Try bringing up a child with ASD and you’ll find that unless they are extremely low on the spectrum then you can’t just ‘teach’ them stuff!!

Can I add perfectly able bodied people without any large suitcases or pushchairs queuing for the lifts at London Bridge station? The timetable changes mean I have to change there for basically every journey. There is only one lift for every two platforms so it usually adds a good few minutes of queuing every time I go anywhere!

I'm ASD myself and it doesn't usually mean that the person can't learn.

They could have hidden disabilities. I sometimes get the lift when my legs feel like they're going to give way, you wouldn't know to look at me that I felt like a trembly bag 'o shite though.

I’m not saying it doesn’t. Just that a neuro diverse brain doesn’t function in the same way as a neuro typical brain! In infuriates me when people say you need to “teach” them this and “teach” them that when it just isn’t always as simple as that. The poster I replied to was assuming that neuro diverse people should just ‘get it’ in public situations when it’s not always that simple! It also depends how high on the spectrum someone is and what their frame of mind is during certain situations.

Can I add perfectly able bodied people without any large suitcases or pushchairs queuing for the lifts at London Bridge station?

You don't know who has a bad hip or bad knee, or just a temporary injury which means they can't easily use stairs.

London Bridge Station is across the road from Guy's hospital. Quite a lot of travellers might have been attending appointments there and might have limited mobility for all sorts of reasons.

OK. This is all showing how lots of people who have to travel on public transport have lots of different needs and motivations. They understand their own really well, and would like to be able to prioritise that and others to do that too, because that's how it's usually possible to operate in their world most of the time. But the space sets the agenda.

Working person with journey needing to be time to work = not a 'Yahoo with a laptop.'

Parents or grandparents of small children who may not be silent and still on a train, or may need to eat food the kids will eat instead of the extortionate gin, tonic, and horseradish crisps left on the trolley (if there is a trolley), or have a buggy because the child is very young. Or pregnant travellers = None are public enemy number 1.

People who have booked a seat, sometimes at a table = They've done this for a reason. Sometimes it will go wrong even so. It's annoying and you will be mad for a bit but you'll be ok.

People who haven't booked a seat, but there are some / loads available to sit on even if they're not the coveted quarter of a table = That's good. Sometimes it won't be the ideal you hoped for and might be slightly split up, but you'll be ok too.

Neurodiverse people, people who have conditions you see, or don't, or people with mobility that isn't 100 percent whether you know it or not and they're not being fast like you would = Also not public enemy number 1.

People with cases that require the luggage rack, except that 50 percent of the carriage also requires the luggage rack, in a space sometimes barely larger than the width of the case = Probably trying their best to stash their case.

Person who got on successfully at the first station on the line in possession of a ticket = That's good.
People who got on 1hr 30 later in possession of a ticket = That's good. But roughly the same entitlements (or otherwise) as the previous ticket purchaser, with a bit less space, so they are not forced to move for you or feel any shame - unless you or your luggage are in the wheelchair space and a wheelchair user needs it.

Closer to public enemy number 1: very loud technology users, leery and violent people, people actually abusing staff or facilities important and designated for needs, like the toilets and the wheelchair space.

It's not remotely 'irrational' to feel annoyed about the rather basic conditions for too many people who don't control what they will get faced with, but it's not rational to expect that passengers will be totally willing to alter some of their actions to fit someone else's narrative.

This. I tend to make a point of / take delight in pointedly asking if I could sit down please to the people who are studiously ignoring the busy train whilst taking up an extra seat for their bag, because I’m a bitch like that I love out outrageously unreasonable their resultant sighing and huffing and puffing is.

I have a friend who asked someone to move their bag so she could sit down. Was on a busy bus. The woman she asked just huffed and ignored her. So my friend sat on her bag. I thought that was brilliant.

The other advantage of being willing to ask people to move is that you don’t end up being passive aggressive (sighing and glaring) to the wrong person.

I was on a tour bus (on my own) once and after a stop, apparently two members of a group travelling together had agreed to swap, I assume because we were in the upstairs front seats with an excellent view out the front of the double decker bus.

I couldn’t understand why some woman was standing next to the seats and huffing and glaring at me - it was actually quite creepy.

She finally demanded I move the coat on the seat next to me - and I pointed out it wasn’t mine and belonged to the woman who had previously been sitting there.

If the second woman had politely asked me to move it as soon as she saw there was something on the seat, I could have told her it wasn’t mine and she wouldn’t have embarrassed herself.

Totally unreasonable. They paid for their ticket and can sit where they like. How do they know who’s going to get on? You’re not making any sense. I agree with you about basic manners and not sitting in someone’s reserved seat but this is weird.

I’m doing a short train journey today. I’m very tempted to sit at a table 😁

Why not if it’s more comfortable.

Ironically, in my experience the worst table hogs are the groups of 3 that surround a lone traveller (particularly if children are involved). Somehow the rule of ‘only take your share of the table’ never applies to them.

Totally agree with you about train travel. I can put up with bad behaviour on the bus, but I get so angry with train rudeness. I think because I've paid 20x more for my train ticket compared to the bus. So expensive yet often such an unpleasant travelling experience.

I’ve just had a bus journey where there were plenty of available double seats, not just priority seats or needing to sit next to someone else as the bus was filling up, only to get a man come and sit right next to me, then start manspreading so his leg was against mine.

I’m sure they do it to get a kick out of intimidating women.