To get irrationally angry at train behaviour

[MisanthropeLikely]

I'm not an angry person, but I'm thinking I might be becoming a Victor Meldrew when travelling. Particularly by train. Particularly long distance. Specific behaviour that enrages me:

1. People that have loud phone conversations or video calls on trains

1. People on long train journeys with limited space in the luggage rack who selfishly put their small bags on it rather than in the overhead, meaning people with larger cases have no space to put it

1. People who spend ages farting around standing in the aisle during boarding so no one can pass.

1. People who act like it's the Olympic 100m in their rush to get off

1. Men who manspread into the aisle

1. People who sit on your reserved seat and then refuse to move.

1. Lone travellers who take up 4 seater sections, preventing people in groups from sitting together

1. People who ostentatiously poo on trains. I mean, I get you sometimes have to go but some of the things people do are disgusting

1. Listening to music or watching videos with no headphones

10. Train stations that are massive but wait until 10 minutes before the train to tell you your platform so you need to have a stress race to make it with your bags.

11. People who wont move their bags off seats on an obviously full train.

I get irrationally angry about this stuff. My worst ever experiences were:

I was on a train once and this man had vrazely taken our reserved seats despite them being marked reserved and other empty seats. He'd set himself up some kind of fucking buffet on our table with a cloth and everything, then when I politely asked him to move, he told me to go and sit somewhere else because I was disturbing his meal.

Another time I was boarding a eurostar in an intense heatwave after a huge delay. It was roasting, I'd been standing at the gate for two solid hours in menopause sweats with a load of heavy bags. They started boarding. It's about 29 steps down to the platform, and a ramp os provided for people with luggage. The attendant was at the top of the ramp telling everyone who did not have luggage to take the stairs.

Anyway, there I am struggling to keep ny heavy suitcase from rolling right down the ramp and taking me with it, and some woman with no luggage at all aside from her small handbag decided to walk down the luggage ramp and overtake everyone on the inside. As there was no space, she moved her legs into my suitcase and then shouted at me "YOUR SUITCASE IS ON MY LEGS, WHY DONT YOU WATCH WHERE YIUR GOING"

I flushed bright red and said "I'm going downhill with a heavy bag I can barely control, multiple other bags and you walked into me trying to overtske", she turned and sniggered at me. A real deep, patronising snigger.

I still hold a grudge a year later.

Does anyone else experience these feelings or is it just me? I am petrified of flying so travel extensively by rail and I am at a point where I don't enjoy travelling because I feel so irrationally cross at inconsiderate and rude people.

Anyone else?

Yes I have and they ignore like the selfish twats they are

Eating hot food on trains, the smell is gross

I always travel alone. Sometimes I want to sit at a table. Table seats aren’t just for the convenience of groups of people travelling together. YABU and selfish to assume that.

Bearing in mind this child is now 14...

Pushing past me trying to getvthe pushchair with a tired toddler onto the (delayed) train, while visibly pregnant to claim the seats next to the disabled space where you can also put the pushchair if a disabled person doesn't need it.

A bit of a niche one - I was once on a train and my suitcase in the rack got 'buried' by multiple other cases. I could see this had happened and that it might take me some time to get it out, so I made sure to get out of my seat early to move all the other cases. I was in a window seat with a random man next to me in the aisle. I politely asked him to let me out, and got a patronising explanation that we were still 5 minutes away from the station so it was too early to get up. It was a route I was extremely familiar with so I knew exactly how far I was from the station - it really pissed me off.

I frequently need a table to work on. So no, I don't default to allowing families to sit there. For me, the pressure of work is more important than the feelings of people I don't know.

You have my generous but not entirely full sympathy.

Because I get irrationally annoyed when people call railway stations "train stations".

I much prefer the aisle seat to the window if I'm alone. I'll happily move a bag or get up to let someone in and I don't avoid eye contact or pretend to be asleep.. actually if it's getting busy I'll move my bag before anyone asks but I'll keep my aisle seat.

The quiet carriage is not the silent carriage. You are allowed to talk in there to someone actually with you. Sure don't be loud, pissed, screeching with laughter but you can converse quietly. If you need total silence drive or get good headphones. It's a public space.

Totally disagree with the table one. It's not a space intended for four, it's a bookable table for anyone. If it's that crucial you need a group space, book it.

Overall, a lot, though not all, peeves would be solved if people use their words and politely but firmly ask people to move, turn down music etc. I do it all the time. Almost always get compliance and I'm a tiny woman, not intimidating or anything. I used to travel a lot with my small kids and would persist for our booked seats (sat DD on the table once when some twat refused to move), got the conductor involved on another occasion. My kids are teens now travelling without me and I'm continuing to teach them how to be v considerate but also assertive when required.

Not everything on your list can be mitigated, OP, but 2 things have helped keep my blood pressure down in recent years:

1. realtimetrains.co.uk - you’ll know your platform ahead of the station updates
2. noise cancelling headphones

The selfish behaviour of dickheads - sorry, can’t help there!

Oh and here's a special Eurostar one. People who get off the train with their human sized suitcase and saunter towards the exit chatting away. Its so lovely you've come on a city break to London, it really is, but i need you to hurry the fuck along as I am about to miss my connection.

It’s always fun when you get a group of people boarding a packed commuter train in rush hour and expecting to be able to sit together - not going to happen, however much they huff about it! Bonus points if they all have giant suitcases.

I thought you op was a bit OTT but willing to let it go but you’ve lost me now. I generally travel alone so you think I shouldn’t take a seat I like because I should sacrifice in case a family wants to sit there? You can fuck off with that, women are expected to sacrifice themselves enough and I see no reason I shouldn’t sit at a forward facing table if I want to and it’s free, it’s not my job to facilitate other people having failed to book, I think they will survive not sitting together for a train journey.

I travel once a month on EMR and I usually go first class. Makes me sound a bit ooh la la I know but it’s sometimes only a few quid more than standard. Anyway, whenever I book I always request an individual seat. That’s the closest description to the single seats I can find. Without fail when I get on the train I find myself booked on a 4 seater. I usually will grab a single seat if there’s one free but there have been times when I’ve had to sit in my reserved seat, usually with a couple, and it’s so awkward. I just can’t seem to crack which seat to select when I book! Anyway, us solo travellers are not always trying to bag a 4 seater, I prefer to sit in peace by myself.

Hernameisdeborah

YANBU. People who board then stand in the aisle, taking their sweet time over finding their seat, putting away their luggage, very slowly sorting out their coat and coffee cup and snacks, oblivious to other people who then can’t get to their seat and creating a backlog of people left standing on the platform due to the traffic jam they have created, they drive me nuts.

These are probably the people out for a day trip or going on holiday. I love seeing people like this, reminds me of going places when I was younger.

I also feel the need to defend people on their own who sit in a four seat section- if I don’t know how many people are going to get on why shouldn’t I sit there and get a proper table and some extra comfort? Saying that I move if I see a group looking for a space.

I think sometimes people who don’t travel a lot by train actually don’t know about the reserving thing, my friends’ uncle was snapped at by a guy who had booked a seat and said he was fed up of it happening, I’ve met her uncle, he’s a mouse, Id say it really upset him and he probably didn’t go by train for a while after that

OP, YANBU, However my DP does a daily commute and complains about most of your points and is VU! 😂 Or maybe I’m lacking empathy! I’ll show him your thread when he’s back he’ll feel seen ✌🏿😂

As its public transport you have to learn to take the rough with the smooth.

Use an app that gives the platform number (generally correct).
Use noise cancelling headphones.
Understand that putting luggage in the overhead is impossible for many reasons.
etc.

FWIW i took a train at the weekend and although the carriage was chock-full with passengers and massive suitcases, the atmosphere was buzzing with a holiday atmosphere. Lovely.

Two sets of male shoulders don't always sit comfortably across small seats. I'd do the same in their position.

I was with you until what would be #7. I travel alone often and often pay / reserve a seat at a 4 seater as it has a table is more comfortable and I want that. Just because I’m by myself doesn’t mean I should sit in the crappier seats.

Oh god no!! I think it’s just we’ve reached the age where we can’t put up with this bullshit anymore. After years and years of it.

Recently I was waiting for the train loo. A man went in before me. Well, once he came out, he’d pissed everywhere, all over the seat, surfaces, floor. When I came out, having tried my best to put down tissues, he was on the phone and I shouted ‘you dirty pig’

I also hate people who have full on chat-style phone calls on loud speaker - why not get headphones or just wait until you’re off the train? Different if it’s a quick “hi I’m going to be there at 5” etc.

I was on a train once and this man had vrazely taken our reserved seats despite them being marked reserved and other empty seats. He'd set himself up some kind of fucking buffet on our table with a cloth and everything, then when I politely asked him to move, he told me to go and sit somewhere else because I was disturbing his meal.

YANBU for your clear points and still holding a grudge against the suitcase to leg woman

YABU for only giving half of this story. What did you say back to him? Did he move? Did you throttle him with his red-checked picnic cloth?

@Namechangerage
Recently I was waiting for the train loo. A man went in before me. Well, once he came out, he’d pissed everywhere, all over the seat, surfaces, floor. When I came out, having tried my best to put down tissues, he was on the phone and I shouted ‘you dirty pig’

Sorry but that has really made me laugh! 😂

Usually the 4-seater sections have tables, the 2-seaters don't. I like a table. I will move if the train is crowded and a child would otherwise be separated from a parent, but I won't move just to allow 4 adults to sit together. Why are they more entitled to the space than I (and other lone travellers who might also like a table)? Unless the seats are reserved, it's first come, first served.

Wow!!! Did he move in the end? I hope you told him he was an idiot.

I was on a brand new train that passes through an airport recently, and in their infinite wisdom, the train company had decided not to have any coach-end luggage racks, or the gaps between seats where you can often put a suitcase. As a result, the entire aisle was crammed with travellers with massive bags. Sometimes you have no choice.

I think the time and day you get a train massively affects your experience. My general commuter train is mainly very civilised in the morning. Lots of people ignoring each other to try and sleep or work and everyone knows the drill. You see people having a nice chat at the platform and then sitting separately for example. It irritates me enormously if someone steps out of that model and makes a noise.

On a weekend I expect the train to be a bit more lively - more kids, people on their way to have fun etc. Evenings also also vary from knackered commuters to pissed football fans.