To get irrationally angry at train behaviour

[MisanthropeLikely]

I'm not an angry person, but I'm thinking I might be becoming a Victor Meldrew when travelling. Particularly by train. Particularly long distance. Specific behaviour that enrages me:

1. People that have loud phone conversations or video calls on trains

1. People on long train journeys with limited space in the luggage rack who selfishly put their small bags on it rather than in the overhead, meaning people with larger cases have no space to put it

1. People who spend ages farting around standing in the aisle during boarding so no one can pass.

1. People who act like it's the Olympic 100m in their rush to get off

1. Men who manspread into the aisle

1. People who sit on your reserved seat and then refuse to move.

1. Lone travellers who take up 4 seater sections, preventing people in groups from sitting together

1. People who ostentatiously poo on trains. I mean, I get you sometimes have to go but some of the things people do are disgusting

1. Listening to music or watching videos with no headphones

10. Train stations that are massive but wait until 10 minutes before the train to tell you your platform so you need to have a stress race to make it with your bags.

11. People who wont move their bags off seats on an obviously full train.

I get irrationally angry about this stuff. My worst ever experiences were:

I was on a train once and this man had vrazely taken our reserved seats despite them being marked reserved and other empty seats. He'd set himself up some kind of fucking buffet on our table with a cloth and everything, then when I politely asked him to move, he told me to go and sit somewhere else because I was disturbing his meal.

Another time I was boarding a eurostar in an intense heatwave after a huge delay. It was roasting, I'd been standing at the gate for two solid hours in menopause sweats with a load of heavy bags. They started boarding. It's about 29 steps down to the platform, and a ramp os provided for people with luggage. The attendant was at the top of the ramp telling everyone who did not have luggage to take the stairs.

Anyway, there I am struggling to keep ny heavy suitcase from rolling right down the ramp and taking me with it, and some woman with no luggage at all aside from her small handbag decided to walk down the luggage ramp and overtake everyone on the inside. As there was no space, she moved her legs into my suitcase and then shouted at me "YOUR SUITCASE IS ON MY LEGS, WHY DONT YOU WATCH WHERE YIUR GOING"

I flushed bright red and said "I'm going downhill with a heavy bag I can barely control, multiple other bags and you walked into me trying to overtske", she turned and sniggered at me. A real deep, patronising snigger.

I still hold a grudge a year later.

Does anyone else experience these feelings or is it just me? I am petrified of flying so travel extensively by rail and I am at a point where I don't enjoy travelling because I feel so irrationally cross at inconsiderate and rude people.

Anyone else?

I’m with you on this one @MisanthropeLikely.

I brought up DC without a car, so we regularly travelled by train to various regions of UK. Trying to find group seating, where I could supervise and entertain kids, was regularly a challenge.

TBF numerous considerate people did offer to move so we could have a group seat. But there are always those lone travellers who’d rather see a family split up (and having to go back and forth up the aisle or have kids on laps) than simply move to a two-person seat.

We always booked seats, but cancelled, postponed and unreserved trains inevitably meant we’d be without a seat booking for a journey of several hours. Sometimes, I’d politely ask people if there was any chance we could swap. Other times we took the 3 vacant seats and (once surrounded by a family) they’d move elsewhere. But apparently no sense of having a little consideration and respect for parents travelling with kids.

When I travel alone I never sit in a seat for 4 unless it’s a deserted train.

The problem can be the seating. Trains I regularly use don’t have flap-down tables or plug sockets in the two person seats. And most of the flap-downs are no good for a laptop. Presumably a train operator cost cutting measure that doesn’t put the traveller’s needs first. Nowhere to even put a tea or coffee.

As for the other stuff, I’m able to block it all out and not let it bother me. But I generally love being around other people, even with all their annoyances.

There are definitely people who make it as difficult as possible for others to share the four seater. Bags and laptops and everything all over the table. Surprised they don’t get out a large second screen from their bags like in an office! 😂

And they are nearly always men.

The same person is also likely to get on their mobile phone and have an ostentatious business call on the train.

Edit - I generally avoid the four seater when travelling for work as I don’t want to be sitting looking at other people. It’s just my observation not something that has inconvenienced me personally.

I would like to add to the list:

People who sit in the aisles next to the doors blocking them when there are seats.

People who vomit everywhere because they drank too much making the carriage smell, you know not driving so must get blathered.

People whose dogs sit on the seats and eat off the table.

I have epilepsy so am forced to get the train but to avoid getting pushed all the time with people getting on before everyone has got off and I’m just done with it - I routinely book passenger assistance, citing my memory which can be poor and I do get lost easily, they seem to wonder why they’re waking worth me but it helps!

In the Quiet Coach once, two women having online meetings, which they were talking loudly in. They'd clearly picked the quiet coach for this purpose, but negating the quietness for everyone else.

Selfish cows

Ah yes, ostentatious business calls! This always seems to be men too!!

Some folk might get annoyed at you and your 'lots of bags', taking up space.

People who don't know how to use tissues and snort back their runny nose really loudly...yuk!!

That's rude though, why are you more entitled to my seat than me?

They probably do. When I don't have luggage though, I let people with luggage board first and I don't pop my tiny rucksack on the luggage rack. There are rules in cricket!

I think non-folding bicycles might actually be worse.

On more than one occasion, I've gone to get on a train only to find that the doors open to reveal so many bikes that I've had to walk further down the train to find somewhere I can actually get on. I live near a "National Trail", and it's remarkably common for cyclists to bring their bikes down on the train to ride it.

It’s the cumulative irritation that’s getting to you OP, nothing unreasonable about irritation at each incident (agree each of them is annoying) but your level is unsustainable. Perhaps you should drive so you’re not wedged in with other people?

Adding,I agree with one of your other gripes: space for luggage. Again, rubbish train design and operators not anticipating customer needs.

Trains to Cornwall in school summer holidays were always a nightmare for luggage, as virtually everyone had luggage for a two-week holiday, including camping equipment, surfboards and (folded) pushchairs.

Where the train operator thought they’d be able to stow it is beyond me. It’d be stowed by the doors and up the aisles, creating a shocking safety hazard.

But not the passengers’ fault. Just not enough space to put it.

Train station is a perfectly acceptable term - that's what most Scottish folk call them.

Agree with moat of these, in particular the inconsiderate arseholes who feel the rest of the carriage should also listen to their Tik Tok videos/ rap music/ shouting video calls. This should be the easiest thing to stop- put headphones in, and people should be fined for not complying.

However, I don't understand the irrational hatred of women doing their make up on the train. It's not loud, it's not affecting or disturbing anyone else, it feels a bit arachic tbh. And no, I won't be getting up '10 minutes earlier' when I go back to work after Mat Leave- literally every minute of my day will be accounted for an I'll be damned if I'm wasting time sat on my (already pointless) commute and not using it for make up/breakfast/life admin.

I disagree. I often have to work on a train journey and the seats with proper tables are much more comfortable. I resent being called ‘a Yahoo with a laptop’.

Great. No need to pretend you said something different initially, though.

And if a family of 4 needs to sit together they can book seats together, like the rest of us.

I'd love to know how a person ostentatiously poos.

Are they snapping their fingers and ordering caviar at the same time?

Except you've made up rules and are getting annoyed by others not following your rules. 🫣

I'm not shy about sitting next to someone if the space is fairly busy and I don't fancy stumbling all the way up the aisle to race for an empty double. However, if it's very clear like that then obviously I won't sit next to someone.

It only happened to me once. I was the only person on the carriage and I was actually asleep... and a guy came up and woke me up to sit next to me (I'd been leaning over into the seat beside me, but like I said, there was nobody else on the carriage. It was pretty late.). I got up and because he was giving me the creeps, I went into another carriage that had a couple of people in it. When I next looked through to where he was, he was openly pissing in the corner.

I agree withbyou, especially about headphones. But not the one person in a 4 bay thing. I have as much right as anyone else to take up a quarter of this space woth my laptop so I can work on the train, Im not stopping anyone else sitting in the other seats. Also, I have to book a seat as travelling for work and the allocation systems often put you in these seats.

if someone is in my allocated seat I turf them out. I would call a member of staff of they refused to move.

No - this is the most annoying one!

1. People that have loud phone conversations or video calls on trains: Hopefully there are spaces in the quiet carriage, but I agree, these people should be banned from having a phone
2. People on long train journeys with limited space in the luggage rack who selfishly put their small bags on it rather than in the overhead, meaning people with larger cases have no space to put it: There might be reasons - until last year, I could not raise my arms above my head, my mum still would have no strength to put even a handbag above her, my aunt could not reach any overhead rack. I would move the small bag, put my larger back in the rack, put the small bag back on top
3. People who spend ages farting around standing in the aisle during boarding so no one can pass: Just very loudly say excuse me
4. People who act like it's the Olympic 100m in their rush to get off: Let 'em, they don't affect you at all
5. Men who manspread into the aisle: Thump their knee with your bag
6. People who sit on your reserved seat and then refuse to move: Call the guard
7. Lone travellers who take up 4 seater sections, preventing people in groups from sitting together: Tough. If you want to sit together, book four seats together
8. People who ostentatiously poo on trains. I mean, I get you sometimes have to go but some of the things people do are disgusting: No one willingly uses a train loo, they must be desperate, cut them some slack
9. Listening to music or watching videos with no headphones: See number 1, above. Death is too good for these people
10. Train stations that are massive but wait until 10 minutes before the train to tell you your platform so you need to have a stress race to make it with your bags: Euston? The Rail Passengers' Association are suing the management organisation of Euston. Hopefully that will be a warning to other station managers
11. People who wont move their bags off seats on an obviously full train: I am a large man, I have no qualms about lifting their bag and dropping it in their lap, I accept this won't be possible for everyone. Again, call the guard

My two are people talking on their phones and people playing music. Just don’t.

Yes, this. Having a snack like some fruit of cereal bar, sandwich (non smelly one😂) fine. Eating a curry, KFC etc - super annoying.

I also agree that sitting in a 4 seater as a single or couple is fine, as long as only use their share of the table - each person gets a quarter.

Can I add leg stretchers on the 4 seaters as a pet peeve. Usually men, who stretch their legs all the way over to your seat, leaving you twisting awkwardly to put your legs to the side. There should be a mini barrier half way between to prompt people to stay their side. And those who bring a crazy amount of luggage and take up whole luggage space or other seats.

And the extended loud calls, which usually fall into 2 camps - Chardonnay, telling all the gossip 'you'll never guess what X next door did' or the loud businessman telling his secretary what to do in a pompous voice. Quick calls 'can you pick me up, I'm running late etc' are of course fine, it's the lengthy apparently pointless ones where they keep shouting 'hello, can you hear me' which drive me mad - but I'm definitely in peri so that may reduce my tolerance