AIBU to think parents don’t need to be ultra smart/ formal for graduation ceremonies?

[MimiGC]

Our son is graduating from UWE next week. He’s wearing a suit and tie, as are his friends. I think smart casual is fine for parents, but DH thinks formal wear for parents is required and is planning on wearing a suit and tie himself. Grateful for Mumsnetters experiences- who has been to a graduation ceremony recently and what were parents wearing?

Remember formal photos will be taken for posterity! I’ve done 2 graduations, by far the majority of men in at least blazer & chinos if not a lounge suit (with or without tie) and women in dresses or trouser suits. A few in jeans etc stood out like sore thumbs

DMs definitely stand out. Not in a good way. Graduation is supporting dc, not making your own statement.

I was at DBro's graduation a couple of weeks ago but since I'm in my mid 40s I was the same age as the mothers of most of the other graduates!
I wore what I would wear to work in a smart casual office so black trousers, nice tshirt, blazer and trainers. Most other women were very OTT and would not have looked out of place at a wedding. It's a couple of hours sitting on hard seats. I'd say wear what you feel comfortable in.

It does seem a bit of an anomaly these days that in the office, and even at weddings, smart casual is much more usual these days. Yet graduations are still seen as super formal occasions.

However, I think dad's now are opting more towards blazers and chinos or casual suits, rather than lounge suits, and mums in dresses and sandals, no necessarily high heeled, practical, particularly in the summer heat.

Yep - suits and ties and smart dresses

It’s a big milestone / celebration.

What’s a casual suit as a matter of interest?!

I think bigger weddings as still smart, though agree sandals/flats are fine, no need for heels.

Why would you not dress up?
Your dd/ds has put years of effort into studying in order to get to uni and then to get their degree. And a lot of money has been invested into all that.

Not dressing up kinda makes it seem like you arent proud of their achievement.

Hugely disrespectful to your child’s achievements not to dress up.

I think you should go smart. Your dh wants to wear a suit anyway. I hate being underdressed at an event.

Recent photos of friends kids graduating all have dads in suits and mums in posh summer dresses. Definitely making a big effort for their kids.

Casual suits would be one that is not so structured, linen for example, and not to be worn with a tie, type of suit. More European style than British.

This. DH wore a smart suit and tie and I wore a lovely dress for each graduation we’ve attended. Everyone I saw did as well. We never saw anyone in jeans, however, I suppose some parents choose to make a personal statement at graduations which is more to do with their agendas than making an effort on celebrating their children’s achievements.

Yes smart wear for parents.

I’m a lecturer and the majority of guests at our graduations are smart/formal - no hats or anything but definitely fancy lunch/evening wedding type outfits. Per pp, we see lots of traditional dress from international students’ families.

Our students wear black and white for the ceremony and females do tend to wear heels which is funny to see after them sloping around in sportswear and jeans for years! We’re in Scotland so a lot of male students are in kilts (also traditional dress from international students of both sexes).

People aren’t going to point and gasp when they see people in jeans and DMs. But it’s not the norm. I wouldn’t turn a hair at your jeans as DMs but I would probably assume that your suitcase got lost at the airport or something like that.

On the info my dd was given it says ‘graduation is a formal event and it is expected that graduates and their guests should be suitably dressed for the occasion’.

Manchester and Nottingham: most of the men in suits.

Definitely dress up.
Why wouldn’t you?

It's a very special, potentially once in a lifetime thing for your offspring. Your husband is right, it's definitely a suit day. You need a dress and/or jacket. Preferably both. You're going to be on photos, even in the background of other people's, so make the effort.
When I first graduated, people's parents wore hats. The sort of dress code was on par with a wedding. Very smart, very celebratory. We don't get many hats now but still a few (I work in a university) and women definitely go to get their hair done. Even us who are on the stage!
Go get yourself a new dress and enjoy the day.

Always far better to dress up a little than look slovenly at a formal occasion. Nobody will say anything if you dress down, but they WILL notice.

Academic here. While you don’t have to dress as formally as you would if you were going to a wedding, dress code is definitely closer to christening/celebration than night out with your friends. Most men will be in suits or chinos and a blazer, and most women will be in dresses or a more formal version of workwear.

Our last one during a heatwave, long drive I wore a pretty summer dress that wouldn't crease, flat sandals, there was a longish walk to the theatre. Husband wore blazer, chinos, smart shoes. We were going to a nice restaurant afterwards.

There will be lots of pictures taken remember.

Why wouldn't you dress up, ita a special occasion. Wish people would make more of an effort for weddings too

I work at a university so have been to a lot of graduation ceremonies in my time. The men usually do wear suits or at least a shirt and smart trousers.

Suit/smart jacket and tie for dad and dress/jacket for mum with nice shoes. It’s an occasion to dress up and look smart and have your photo taken. It’s a big occasion.

My son is graduating next week, my ex is wearing a suit, and I think I am wearing white trousers and a top rather than a dress, but i’ve not 100% decided as yet. I think you’ll get a mix but i’d say definitely more smart than casual.