AIBU to think parents don’t need to be ultra smart/ formal for graduation ceremonies?

[MimiGC]

Our son is graduating from UWE next week. He’s wearing a suit and tie, as are his friends. I think smart casual is fine for parents, but DH thinks formal wear for parents is required and is planning on wearing a suit and tie himself. Grateful for Mumsnetters experiences- who has been to a graduation ceremony recently and what were parents wearing?

@JaninaDuszejko Isn’t that a pair of shoes for the bride? Louboutin do a white pair! I think tanned legs like Claudia are vital though.

No, just standard white heels from Office.

Depends on the weather. People shouldn't have to overdress and suffer on a heatwave day.

Being smart - even very smart - doesn’t equate to being overdressed and too hot. There are many cool, comfortable smart options.

Update- just home from the Graduation. For anyone who is interested, most people were dressed a bit more casually than I expected. Most of the mothers were in dresses, but just nice summer dresses rather than anything fancy. Not what I would consider summer wedding attire. Quite a few had a denim jacket over the dress. Many wore trainers or flat sandals with the dress. Most fathers had shirts with either casual or suit trousers. Some had full suits. My DH whipped off his tie as soon as we arrived, as he felt overdressed with it. A few fathers were in jeans, including a couple in really scruffy ones. Maybe they just didn’t know the expectations…
So, a lovely day was had by all. Proud parents and happy young people about to embark on life’s next chapter.

That’s lovely @MimiGC
For what it’s worth, I think a lot of the disagreement on here was centred around what people meant by ‘wedding attire’. I’d wear a summer dress and flats to a wedding. It might be a slightly more upmarket one, but not fancy.

I wore a boho skirt and cami, oh wore chino shorts and a shortsleeved shirt. It was a super hot day and most of the men weren’t in suits. Some were in trousers, a few in jeans and chinos etc. The women (other than me and one or two others) all wore floral dresses of some description. Nobody was in formal wedding attire.
Wear what you feel comfortable in, nobody else will give a shit and if they do, who cares- you’ll never see them again

Some of these replies are hilarious ‘dress up because you might be in the background of someone else’s photo’ haha what did I just read 🤣
OP as long as you’re relatively smart and not wearing a tracky you’ll be fine. Also if you don’t normally wear that style of dress just wear a nice version of your own style. I’ve never worn a jacket or blazer in my life

@MimiGC Well some of us did say it wasn’t wedding formal!

Yes, but your idea of wedding formal was cheap looking satin wasn’t it? Whereas I and many others would wear a good quality summer dress and sandals for a wedding, which is exactly what happened!

Dh wore chinos, jacket and a shirt. No tie.

That sort of level was fine

@cardibach Hmmm. Not sure I really thought cheap looking satin! Never ever worn that. I thought wedding type suits and obviously formal dresses and jackets were not required. If I said satin, that was a joke! The op did ask about ultra smart and I don’t believe I said cheap satin was uber smart. I would definitely have said avoid it! Ditto looking like the MOTB.

No, you said that was what people wear to weddings. Cheap looking stuff.
Anyway, nice summer dress and sandals is wedding attire (in summer obvs) for me and most people I know. So exactly what happened.

Ask your son what he wants you to wear. My son wasn’t bothered. My daughter wanted full get up like it was her wedding. But generally it was suits and dresses. Some of the parents were more funky and casual but their children graduating had also gone for that look too

Vinted is your friend for these occasions I got a dress for £30 new would have been £120 and sandals for £15

@MimiGC thanks for the update and glad you had a lovely day celebrating your dc.

Equally glad as I have been panicking about what to wear next week to my dcs grad from UWE so relieved that it can maybe be slightly less formal than I first thought - I’m sure I have something that fits the bill as I’ve struggled to find anything I thought was appropriate and that I might wear again!!

Parents don’t need formal wear for a graduation. My DH wore smart trousers, waistcoat & shirt, no tie, I wore smart dress and sandals. There were some mothers there who were dressed like mother of the bride!

And if that’s what they 2ant to do and feel happy doing, what difference does it make?
some level of tidiness/good presentation is required to respect the occasion and the work of the people graduating. Beyond that everyone should wear what they want..

Had to come back to this as it's my dd's graduation next week and she said to me this evening that her dad (xh) had said he might wear jeans with a shirt and jacket - she wasn't impressed but didn't quibble, although she would rather he just wore a suit. (He has plenty of formal wear.) And then he said that he might wear jeans, a t-shirt and a jacket, and she apparently then put her foot down! She's told him he can have one more casual item but that's the maximum 😁

A graduation is arguably a greater achievement than getting married, so why shouldn't the proud parents dress up if they want?

Exactly. Anyway the OP has now been to her DCs graduation and has dressed smartly (just not in a dress but that's OK).