To refuse to let my MIL bring her own kettle when she visits?

[BiscuitHammer]

Bit of a silly one maybe but it’s causing actual rows so here goes.

MIL is coming to stay for the weekend (joy) and she’s announced she’s bringing her own kettle because apparently ours “tastes funny”. I genuinely don’t know what that even means?? It’s just a normal Breville one from Argos. She says she can “taste the plastic” and it “ruins tea” which is ridiculous because we’ve had it over a year and no one else has ever complained.

I told her she’s being dramatic and she got in a strop. DH is now saying I should just let her bring it to keep the peace but I think it’s rude. Like sorry but turning up at someone’s house with your own appliances is a bit much isn’t it? What next, her own toaster? Portable shower?

I get she’s particular about tea (she only drinks loose leaf and swears PG Tips gives her headaches) but still. We’re not a bloody hotel.

AIBU to put my foot down and tell her to use ours or not bother?

(For context she also once brought her own pillow and sugar. Make of that what you will.)

My MIL once bought me a new kettle for Christmas because she didn't like our one. I can't remember why she didn't like ours though!

This is the sort of thing you’ll be reminiscing and laughing about in years to come. It’s surely a lot more inconvenient for her to lug these things around unnecessarily?

More likely the water tastes different than the kettle. Presume she's not local if she's staying the weekend. Just let her bring the kettle.

(For context she also once brought her own pillow and sugar. Make of that what you will.)

Id make of it that she’s kind of particular about her sleep and her tea (if she has sugar in her tea? Combined with the kettle thing)

it’s a little finicky but is it really harming anyone? Why would you need to put a foot down about it?

I do too!

I'd do the taste test ... one made with your kettle and one with hers. I'd be fine with it to be honest ... you've to accept these little quirks.

I don’t see a problem with her bringing her own kettle - some people are extremely sensitive to the taste of plastics, and I assume she uses a metal kettle at home. I’ve taken my own pillow away with me many times because I’m very used to it and I sleep much better than on another one with a different texture.

I do when I visit family in hard water areas. I also bring bottled water. Tea tastes completely different in hard water areas to soft water areas

Just smile and nod and let her bring her kettle!
I often take my own pillow places, I have allergies so feathery ones bother me and often find I have a bad neck sleeping on different pillows.

Plastic kettles do taste funny if you're used to a metal one. I wouldn't bother to bring my own but can see why she might. Not sure why it's rude to bring it - any more than it would be rude to bring a preferred type of tea she knew you wouldn't have.

eye rolling has actual health benefits

it's not a hill to die on imo

I agree with PP that it's probably the difference in water, rather than the kettle itself. If so, she'll realise that, blame "your water" and then she'll be bringing multiple 2l bottles of water from her own tap with her next time, along with her own kettle (the new one that she "had to buy to replace my perfectly good old one that your water ruined").

Then again, it might just be a comfort thing for her - maybe a 'familiar appliance' version of ARFID or similar? There's no significant material difference between two different kettles; but if her tea is a really important part of her happiness and she has a kettle that she knows and trusts, she probably does just associate it with what she feels will guarantee her favourite cup of tea.

I won't use plastic kettles, sorry. Only stainless steel. Lots of people are trying to limit their exposure to microplastics now, not a niche idea.

Let her bring her own kettle and tea and let tell her it would be better for her to make her own tea as you will be using your kettle.

Why do you object? Seems harmless to me, I assume you just don’t like her.

My mums kettle tastes funny. She never runs the water through. I always take my own aeropress to my mums.

My parents bring their own pillows.

My SIL makes her own coffee using our machine.

It's so normal! Once you are an adult you know what you like and what you dont.

How is your mum bringing a kettle going to cause you a problem?

I used to laugh at people taking their own teabags/cereal on holiday. What’s the point of going new places if you don’t experience new things?!

Now I’m in my fifties and life is too short for crap coffee and crap sleep. I take filter bags or a small cafetière and coffee. Two pillows, one for my neck and one for my knees.

Little Pleasures are important. And yes, I can taste plastic kettle water- but I don’t mind it!

If you have a plastic kettle then I can understand what she means about the funny taste.
Not to mention all the microplastics and BPA leeching into the water.
Buy a stainless steel one - better for your health (and your relationship with your mother in law!)

I’d let her bring her own kettle just to prove she’s wrong.

I think it's odd but not rude. I wouldn't even take it personally if someone said their kettle was better than mine because it boiled faster or poured nicely. She's not asking you to go out and buy a new kettle/pillows/sugar. I imagine your water might taste different and that could affect her tea. Or if you only buy skimmed milk and she's used to semi-skimmed that might be noticeable. It's really not worth the drama, just let her crack on.

I’ve taken my own pillow to MIL’s before, mine is much better (for me).

I wouldn’t stress over it. Is she a nice person? A good mum/MIL/granny? If so, just leave it.

Meh

wouldnt bother me. Let her crack on.

Ah OP, I feel for you. My DM does stuff like this all the time and it drives me absolutely nuts. When she comes to stay she brings her own cleaning products and cloths and cleans the bathroom before using it (and no, it's not filthy she gets the brand new bathroom in the loft to use which is only used by guests, which is 99% her).

Most people I talk to about this find it funny and tell me to let it slide (free cleaning they say!). But there is something about it that really gets to me and I can't explain it. The kettle think would irk me too but it's almost certainly not worth bringing it up.

Just let her bring it. Won't have anything to do with your kettle. Just that the water in your area tastes different to her's.

Don't see the hardship in letting her bring her own kettle. Presumably she's happy making her own tea, though?