To refuse to let my MIL bring her own kettle when she visits?

[BiscuitHammer]

Bit of a silly one maybe but it’s causing actual rows so here goes.

MIL is coming to stay for the weekend (joy) and she’s announced she’s bringing her own kettle because apparently ours “tastes funny”. I genuinely don’t know what that even means?? It’s just a normal Breville one from Argos. She says she can “taste the plastic” and it “ruins tea” which is ridiculous because we’ve had it over a year and no one else has ever complained.

I told her she’s being dramatic and she got in a strop. DH is now saying I should just let her bring it to keep the peace but I think it’s rude. Like sorry but turning up at someone’s house with your own appliances is a bit much isn’t it? What next, her own toaster? Portable shower?

I get she’s particular about tea (she only drinks loose leaf and swears PG Tips gives her headaches) but still. We’re not a bloody hotel.

AIBU to put my foot down and tell her to use ours or not bother?

(For context she also once brought her own pillow and sugar. Make of that what you will.)

Own pillow and sugar, as a family member would not bother me- I only have brown sugar and wouldn’t buy in a specific sugar for some one as it would be a waste. The kettle wouldnt really phase me either. Different kettles do taste different- you’re in different water areas, I have a cheap kettle. Friend has a fancy one and genuinely I find their coffee tastes better 😆 I couldn’t have this be the thing I put my foot down on.

It matters to her and so if let her get on with it
i have a bone china pint mug I take to friends who don’t drink as many coffees as do
Nobody minds
i ado keep some of my boyfriends tea bags here as I don’t drink it

Nod and smile. I realised I could rip all of the power out of this stuff around 20 years ago.

You just write the person off in your head as "a bit mental, and stupid" when they do shit like this. This means nothing they do or say going forward matters anymore.

No criticisms, no complaints, nothing. They are after all mental and stupid. If you are tolerating them for other people's sake (here your DH), you just nod and smile and stop thinking about it.

It applies to all sorts of people and is in fact the key to happiness. Now when people do stupid shit, just let them, who cares. Only react if it is going to cause you to have to do something in response. Otherwise shrug, and wander off.

Bonus, it'll make 'em crazy if they are doing it for attention. 😁

I'd be ok with it.

Some people are super-tasters. She probably can tell the difference.

If you really want to win this battle of your own making, go buy a kettle that is identical to the one your MIL prefers. Also buy the tea and sugar she likes.

Leave her to it

I also take my pillow places sometimes - it's a harder firmer pillow and its more comfortable for my neck - think its fine to do that

Seriously, this is a non-issue. Bit bonkers maybe, but we all have our quirks.

I always take my own pillow, wherever I go, because it’s taken me YEARS (and £££s!) to find one that I can actually sleep well on, so I’ll be damned if I’m relinquishing it now!!

Pick your battles…this isn’t one worth losing sleep over 🤷‍♀️

I take my own pillow, and I take my own coffee and tea.
I like a feather pillow, and I only drink decaffeinated coffee and tea and only like a particular type of each.

Just let her. I'd think you were mad and controlling if you told me what I can or can't pack. I take my pillow everywhere....not sleeping properly isn't a price I'm willing to pay. 😂

A metal kettle perhaps? Only place I've seen plastic kettle ( in use) is in a works staff room.

Why go to all that palaver? Just to " prove" you are right. Just let her bring the kettle she likes and use it. Can't see how this hurts you in any way shape or form.

I can sometimes taste plastic too, for example water from a plastic bottle. I got a metal mug for my bedside table water, and use a metal kettle. Mind you, for a weekend I'd just drink my host's tea and say nothing. But in your case I'd just let her use her kettle, it's really not that big a deal?

Not cool to call people names either.

Something spiteful I could understand being peeved at. But you said yourself she’s particular about her tea and if she likes it a certain way that includes using a specific kettle just let her. Tbh I would ask what brand she used and get one just for her visits with the deal being she lets you get to finish drinking a hot one while she helps with the kids. To be fair, microplastics from kettles is actually a real thing. Regardless, who cares. Especially if you do get to drink a cup of tea while it’s actually hot!

It's not rude. It's a perfectly harmless request. Maybe she's a bit overly fussy but so what? She's allowed to be. Many of us get like this as we get older. It's not hurting you. Leave her alone.

Let her bring it, no need to offer to make her hot drinks.

Just go with the flow - better all round, and better for the future. Why are you making all this fuss? It is entirely pointless .....

I think there are probably bigger issues to die on a hill for - pick your battles

I can absolutely taste the difference with different kettles - though in my case I don’t like the taste of metal kettles. Different water in different areas also tastes different, but the kettle taste is on top of that.

Why on earth would you assume she can’t taste the difference?

I can taste the plastic in a new kettle for a quite a while after starting to use it and it's very unpleasant !
I always try to buy a metal or glass one

Some kettles do taste plasticy. My new smeg kettle still has that weird new smell and its ruining the tea. Some kettles make the tea taste metallic.

Let it go. Mother in law brings her own pillow as nothing but her own works...this despite the fact she bought the pillows in the spare room.... whatever makes your mil happy. Just roll eyes and let her use the kettle

Hard water v soft water, makes all the difference in the world. Its no big deal. I'd have swapped your M.I.L for mine any day if that's all you have to worry about. Let her bring her own things if she needs too. We carry our own instant coffee with us because my husband can't have caffeinated coffee. Don't forget she gave birth and raised your husband and it sounds like a little jealousy is going on here: My Boy ? My Husband. Does it REALLY matter? My daughter brings her own milk! Do I mind of course not. Stop being so defensive and get on with trying to improve things between you for the sake of the man you both love.

Let it wash by. It is not worth falling out over.

...faintly irritating, quite funny, not worth bothering about.