To refuse to let my MIL bring her own kettle when she visits?

[BiscuitHammer]

Bit of a silly one maybe but it’s causing actual rows so here goes.

MIL is coming to stay for the weekend (joy) and she’s announced she’s bringing her own kettle because apparently ours “tastes funny”. I genuinely don’t know what that even means?? It’s just a normal Breville one from Argos. She says she can “taste the plastic” and it “ruins tea” which is ridiculous because we’ve had it over a year and no one else has ever complained.

I told her she’s being dramatic and she got in a strop. DH is now saying I should just let her bring it to keep the peace but I think it’s rude. Like sorry but turning up at someone’s house with your own appliances is a bit much isn’t it? What next, her own toaster? Portable shower?

I get she’s particular about tea (she only drinks loose leaf and swears PG Tips gives her headaches) but still. We’re not a bloody hotel.

AIBU to put my foot down and tell her to use ours or not bother?

(For context she also once brought her own pillow and sugar. Make of that what you will.)

It's just a kettle. Let her bring it. Or can she use a pan to boil water?

Kettles that have plastic inside release micro plastic into the water which we then ingest so she isn't bonkers. You just don't like her.

This would be a really stupid hill to die on.

Let her bring her own kettle, what difference does it actually make to you 🤷🏻‍♀️

I believe her as I can taste the difference too. My kettle has a stainless steel interior. OP sounds pretty unpleasant to cause arguments about this.

Let her

Sprinkle a bit of salt/ vinegar/ chilli sauce/ milk powder into her kettle any chance you get to make her kettle taste funny

It doesn't hurt anyone. And marginally reduces the wear and tear on your kettle. I'd leave her to it.

Don't take it personally

It MIGHT be personal, granted, but just ignore that and act as though it's not, it's a quirk.

I take my oat milk to peoples houses, so that I don't put them out . Imagine if they told me to drink cows milk or stay home?! How odd would that be.

I think bringing own pillow is fine.
She's clearly very particular and if she wants to jug loads of stuff around the country let her crack on, less wear and tear on yours.

Some people are hyper sensitive to some tastes. Regardless though it’s really not worth an argument over.

Boiling a plastic kettle releases microplastics into the water. I have a glass one from amazon.

That said, I can't taste a difference.

Life's to short to battle this.

Plug in her kettle where yours usually goes. Put yours up in the attic for the duration of her stay so that the kitchen isn't too cluttered. Get on with your life without giving a moment's thought to how little this matters. She must have a very privileged and happy life if the quality of the container in which water was boiled makes a difference to her. This feels like a princess-and-the-pea style demonstration of how refined and sensitive she is, but it's better to ignore it than contest it.

I think it makes you feel funny because her behaviour implies that she thinks you don't do a good enough job of cleaning. I once asked my ILs to come round to help me with my toddler, as the baby and I were ill with a bug (which the toddler had brought home to us from toddler group). The ILs came round, did not help with the toddler but instead brought a huge bottle of bleach to clean the kitchen and bathroom, because, obviously, the only reason we would be ill was because I didn't clean properly...

Our relationship never really recovered from that.

Might be the water rather than the kettle! Let her crack on. Then do a secret taste test to check 🤣

I'm afraid I'm team MIL.

Since I switched to a metal kettle (cheap, from Aldi), tea tastes loads better. Although I'm not about to start carrying my kettle everywhere.

Try it when she comes - you might find you prefer it too!

I agree. Just chill.

Go away for the weekend.

Take all pillows, sugar and kettles with you.

This is not a hill to die on - trust me.

Can you turn it into a bit of fun ? Try some tea tastings - your usual tea, MIL usual tea, made with each other's kettles. Try some new ones as well.

BTW - never use the 'well no one else has complained' reason as a evidence. It might be other visitors were too polite to comment, you've got accustomed to the taste etc.

I was gonna mention the pg tips as well 😂, rank. (also typhoo)

Can't see why she shouldn't bring her own kettle, clock, teapot, eggcups etc.

To defuse your own annoyance you could pretend that you ordered her to bring her own kettle.

"Sorry MIL, you know the rules, no entry without your own kettle."

This would really annoy me. Imagine those in the world with no access to clean water and we have this nonsense. Sort of thing people do when they have nothing else to worry about. I get that it probably is worth the eye role, only trouble is, give in to this and it will be something else. These fuss pots just escalate when you give in. You will have to stand up to nonsense at some point.

That would really annoying me, but I'd just put yours in a cupboard and use hers when she is there.

Next time you stay at her house, trundle in your washing machine and tumble dryer and plug them in in the lounge.

Of course just let he bring her kettle... I would lean into this... tell her - her kettle tastes so much better and you will only drink tea she makes from now on!

And then next time you visit her - turn up with a microwave.

It is so silly to get upset about this. You just can’t take it personally. Many people bring their own pillows and I also cannot taste plastic, find microwaved hot water gross, etc. I would not bring my own kettle, but as others have said why make a thing over it.

One thing is for sure, our parents generation love their bleach (and brining it to their kids house it seems 😂)

my husband goes on and on and on about peoples kettles tasting funny ....

However, i am currently staying at my besties house with him and BOTH packed and brought our own pillows ...

Do you want your MIL to be happy? It doesn't sound like you do.

I agree with your MIL about being able to taste the plastic in drinks made in a plastic kettle. I could live with it for a few days but maybe it really annoys MIL. What difference does it make to you if she brings her own kettle? When it's time for a cup of tea just boil all the water in her kettle.

I have never found a pillow anywhere as good as my own for a comfortable night's sleep, so if I'm driving I take it everywhere, hotels, other people's houses, wherever, it makes no difference to anyone. Family now just leave a pillowcase on the bed ready for when I bring my pillow.

None of the things MIL brings are odd. Maybe you'll find as you get older things like comfortable pillows, nice-tasting tea become more important. MIL isn't asking you to put yourself out, she's helping by bringing them herself. Let her carry on.