To refuse to let my MIL bring her own kettle when she visits?

[BiscuitHammer]

Bit of a silly one maybe but it’s causing actual rows so here goes.

MIL is coming to stay for the weekend (joy) and she’s announced she’s bringing her own kettle because apparently ours “tastes funny”. I genuinely don’t know what that even means?? It’s just a normal Breville one from Argos. She says she can “taste the plastic” and it “ruins tea” which is ridiculous because we’ve had it over a year and no one else has ever complained.

I told her she’s being dramatic and she got in a strop. DH is now saying I should just let her bring it to keep the peace but I think it’s rude. Like sorry but turning up at someone’s house with your own appliances is a bit much isn’t it? What next, her own toaster? Portable shower?

I get she’s particular about tea (she only drinks loose leaf and swears PG Tips gives her headaches) but still. We’re not a bloody hotel.

AIBU to put my foot down and tell her to use ours or not bother?

(For context she also once brought her own pillow and sugar. Make of that what you will.)

I would just let her get on with it. Luckily, you won't have to make her a cuppa for her entire visit.

OP - seriously? You want to make this into an issue - why???

Lots of people travel with own pillows. I have had neckpain from hotel pillows.
I also bring my own coffee beans places - as often people dont have real coffee and I hate instant.

My own kids don’t like tea at home but do drink it from cafees. They say water in our kettle tastes like smth. I have no idea what they mean.

Should I put my foot down to my kids then?
If you see that it’s bonkers - apply it to your situation.

Yes who’s having the row? And why? Is it really worth it over a kettle that has absolutely no impact on you?

i get it, you don’t like her and are dreading her visit but this seems like a non event to me.

And yes, she’s right, tea always tastes better it home, especially in your own pot.

This 💯
Pick your battles and this ain’t one of them.

My friend has one of those hot tap things that makes 'boiling' water except that it doesn't and I hate the tea at hers. I wouldn't ever mention it but it definitely spoils tea time! I'd want my MIL to be happy so I just wouldn't care about this. I like a guest that can say what they want/need!

Just leave her to it? I’m baffled what your issue is. I’d bring my own pillow too

Lol let her bring her kettle - it doesn't harm you.

Oh OP this makes me chuckle. You remind me of myself ranting about my mother.

It's bad for your blood pressure - let it go 💐

My earliest memory is of realising that the plastic teat on my new bottle tasted different from the plastic teat on my old bottle. I switched to a cup, as encouraged...

She may be right about the kettles, and that doesn't mean hers is better than yours. Or it may well be the water that's making the difference, or conceivably your brand of milk.

Why would you not let her do this? It's a harmless attempt to enjoy her stay with you more, not an insult.

I wouldn’t mind this. I’ve had people bring their own coffee makers because I don’t drink it and only have a jar of instant in the cupboard!

It’s just a kettle.

Calling your MIL dramatic to her face is far ruder than bringing your own kettle.

It’s probably your water rather than the kettle making the tea taste funny but let her try using her own kettle. Is it really any inconvenience for you?

Bringing your own pillow is a fairly normal thing to do if you have allergies or get aches and pains 🤷‍♀️ I am sure you would be complaining even louder if your MIL asked you to buy a different type of sugar for her instead of bringing her own.

Not worth the argument. Let her cart a whole bloody kettle…and look like a twat.

I don’t see the issue in her bringing her own… she’s not asking you to buy a new kettle?! I just admit, I have noticed hot water tasting different in different kettles. Some have a more metallic taste than others 🙈😬

I'm with your MIL on this one. I can taste plastics really strongly and never use it for drinking or eating - so no tupperware, plastics bottles, or plastic kettles.

Assuming your MIL isn't being insufferably sanctimonious, and is just quietly getting on with it, I actually think it would be incredibly rude as her host for you to make a fuss about this.

This. A host is supposed to nake their guests feel comfortable.

It's obviously important to her or she wouldn't bother. I would believe her that she can taste the difference, and would not make a fuss about her bringing it.

I’d find this hilarious and let her crack on. I would not take this personally.

I’m exactly the same, and I also have a fully stainless steel stovetop kettle!

If it’s been boiled in a kettle that’s mostly metal or glass with just a plastic window for the water level for example, I can’t usually tell. But if it’s a fully plastic kettle I can tell.

I’d never say anything except to people I’m very very close to, eg my mum who boils my water for tea in a stainless steel saucepan on the hob 😅 if she forgets and uses her plastic kettle I can always tell!!

I’d like to think that when my children are grown up, we’re close enough that I feel able to bring my own kettle to their house - especially as it has exactly zero impact on them!

What's the big deal? I don't see how you are inconvenienced by this. She's not asking you to provide anything additional.

Some people really can taste when something's been heated in plastic. She likes her own tea, pillow, sugar, she's catering to her personal preferences and not expecting you to buy stuff for her. I think it's pretty polite myself.

This is not the big deal you're making it into. 🙄

Who gives a fuck. Bring the kettle and the toaster if you wish. Just make she takes it back with her. She’ll probably find it’s because your water is harder or something and not remotely related to the kettle but I couldn’t get worked up about it.

If it makes her happy who the hell cares?

She sounds like a tit, but I would just let her bring it And not invite her to stay very often.

Some people can be very particular about their tea.

I'm sure your kettle is fine but her loose leaf tea may well taste a bit different when made in a different kettle.

I'd just put it down to that and let her bring her kettle.

Get her to do a blind taste test.

Should be fun to figure out whether she really can tell her kettle from yours.

My guess is it is probably something different, like residual dishwasher detergent, different water treatment etc.