To refuse to let my MIL bring her own kettle when she visits?

[BiscuitHammer]

Bit of a silly one maybe but it’s causing actual rows so here goes.

MIL is coming to stay for the weekend (joy) and she’s announced she’s bringing her own kettle because apparently ours “tastes funny”. I genuinely don’t know what that even means?? It’s just a normal Breville one from Argos. She says she can “taste the plastic” and it “ruins tea” which is ridiculous because we’ve had it over a year and no one else has ever complained.

I told her she’s being dramatic and she got in a strop. DH is now saying I should just let her bring it to keep the peace but I think it’s rude. Like sorry but turning up at someone’s house with your own appliances is a bit much isn’t it? What next, her own toaster? Portable shower?

I get she’s particular about tea (she only drinks loose leaf and swears PG Tips gives her headaches) but still. We’re not a bloody hotel.

AIBU to put my foot down and tell her to use ours or not bother?

(For context she also once brought her own pillow and sugar. Make of that what you will.)

Why do you care?

I have a plastic kettle and now I’m wondering if I’m missing out and should get a stainless steel one.

It really isn’t worth arguing over. Let her bring her own kettle fhs op! Some people are very particular about their tea!

She’ll probably plug it in and discover that it’s the water that’s different and not your kettle!

Sorry but she is allowed to express a preference without it being taken as a massive insult.

She’s being daft but does it really matter? Enough to have arguments about it? That’s unreasonable.

Let her bring it but let her know you think it’s rude.

ummm well. Mine is a metal kettle because I can taste (and smell) the plastic in plastic ones.....sorry but its true. I wouldn't go to the lengths of bringing my own kettle but I would bring my own teabags because I only drink darjeeling.

I'm with you OP. My mum used to bring her own water when she came to stay!!! Apparently ours didn't taste right 😄

Meh it’s just a kettle
i take my pillow anywhere I need it , as it’s a shaped ikea one and the only one I can sleep on

If she lives a distance from you then it's probably your water rather than your kettle.

"DoubleShotEspresso · Today 13:30
OP I am a bit like your MIL… I can taste plastic in hot drinks often at other people’s houses. We use a stainless steel stovetop kettle at home and this is what I am used to… I haven’t gone as far as taking to visit relatives, but do take it when we go away (off to the Cotswolds soon & will do this.)
Maybe pick your battles unless you have very limited kitchen space?"

I have found my tribe.

Don't sweat the small stuff OP.

I can understand the pillow - lots of people take their own when staying away from home.

Let her bring her own kettle. If she lives quite a way from you, it may be the water itself that makes the tea taste 'funny'.

Look on the bright side - at least she hasn't accused you of living in a hovel, and wants to bring her cleaning stuff too..... 😂

Why does it matter if she brings a kettle or a pillow? This isn't any slight against you and what you provide, she just has preferences. She isn't asking you to change anything she is saying she will bring her own. You really need to relax a bit.

Let her bring the kettle but, importantly, don't use it yourself to make her any tea. Let her make her own, presumably bringing her own tea, as she's so particular.

Is it limescale only my ds at Unis kettle makes a dreadful cup of tea. Does that make me terrible for noticing. I usually just give it a good scrub out 😁

Surely you want your guest to be comfortable so who cares what she needs to bring with her to do that.

I'd be happy she brought her own kettle to boil and make her own tea not sat waiting for you to serve her. If she suggests it, just say you don't want to damage it and will stick to your own.

Does she suffer from headaches a lot? I'd do anything to avoid them so would pack the kitchen up if I needed to and will often bring my own requirements but quietly without expecting others to accommodate me.

Like PPs, I'm wondering if you live in a hard water area and she doesn't and that's what she can taste. My mother has hard water and I can tell the difference, especially as she's terrible about removing limescale from her kettle. I can taste the difference between loose leaf and teabag tea too... we drink both at home, I'm not snobbish about it but they do taste different to each other.

If she's already a pain in the arse I don't think I'd make this the hill to die on. Just let her get on with it.

I take my own duvet - uk holidays and abroad.

I think you are also being dramatic by putting your foot down.

Shes being a bit weird but how is it putting you out? I'd want a guest to be happy. Just let her get in with it.

I don't think its that weird to bring her own pillow either 🤷‍♀️

I drink my tea black and do notice plastic kettles taste different, I do prefer metal ones. I also notice the difference if the britta filter at home needs changing.

I wouldn't take my own kettle to someone's house, but I don't have a bit of sympathy for your MIL.

Let her live how she wants to - if you are getting this bothered I am going to assume you are overly argumentative. I wouldn't mind if a guest brought their kettle to my house.

I get the liking her own pillow. I've stayed with friends whose pillows were absolutely disgusting, lumpy, dusty, ancient. And when you read that pillows are half full of dustmites it does give pause for thought.

The rest of it, really how can you even care? Just let her get on with her peculiarities.

Just let her bring it

What magic kettle does she have?

If possible, maybe find a second-hand version on FB marketplace and pull it out of the cupboard whenever she visits. Also, do a blind taste test and see if there is any damn difference you can identify :D

My DP will only drink tea if made in a pot, I keep one on the top shelf for when they visit. My DH drinks tea like it is the only drink on earth and often travels with his kettle, tea mug and tea bag supply. To be fair he works all over Europe and is often alone in a hotel so I don't begrudge him a nice brew whilst winding down.

My MIL would always turn up to a fully-catered meal/visit at our house with her basket of random food, just in case we needed it. I sort of get she liked her own homemade salad dressing, but some slightly brown lettuce, a tomato and the end of a cucumber was not helpful or necessary. There would be more random stuff that didn't even 'go with the meal', such as a breakfast yoghurt for an evening meal it was as if she had opened her fridge and thought (or not thought) what can is the most random shit in here and let me take it with me.
Never once did she ask if there was anything she could bring or turned up with something that would have been appreciated like a bottle or dessert.
My solution was to ignore the basket, if she brought the random food to the table it just underlined her lack of class/manners.

I do travel with my own pillow and hairdryer.

Sensible me would roll my eyes and let her bring the kettle.

Petty me would only make teas from my own appliance. And would empty the water and unplug her kettle on a regular basis 😂