Was my BBQ hosting ‘stingy’ as my friend has suggested

[SingingJess]

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

A line I like to use in these situations is, “help me understand that?” It forces someone onto the back foot and gets then to either explain what they meant, or be embarrassed about what they said. Works every time.

ODFOD. Are you the ghastly classless guest, by any chance?

In my experience, people who spend this much are generally from Portuguese or Greek communities, their BBQs are something else - abundance of amazing meat and gorgeous salads, huge amounts of food and drink. I dont know any English people who would spend this much, or do something elaborate - its usually sausages, burgers, and occasional chicken.

I'm calling bullshit on everything you've just said.

We love Aldi gin, their Edinburgh/Scottish gin dupe is great.

Has your friend got room for a pony?

Your friends have absolutely dire manners, completely awful.

Yeah they're rude but also they brought gin they wanted to drink so should have been offered that too

She was extremely rude. I wouldn’t invite them again.

Your friends are tossers OP.

They didn’t bring gin, only mixers

Sorry Misunderstood. They are not your friends

What an unpleasant woman. Is her name Hyacinth Bucket?

You weren't stingy at all. But even if you were it would be extremely rude of guests to make a comment. They sound absolutely awful.

Absolutely vile. I'd be distancing myself from her ASAP. Your BBQ sounds lovely!

Sounds like it. 🙄

Are you the poster who wanted to “Shine as a hostess” on the Iceland buffet thread?
I suspect you could be @Velmy

Op in case you haven’t got the message by now there was nothing wrong with what you did and what they did was weird and rude!

I also eat what I’m given and am happy with it…can you just do a BBQ for all the easily pleased mumsnetters on this thread instead next time?

They’re a pair of pretentious fuckwits with zero class of manners.

Real friends are happy with your company. Mine would come over, eat toast and drink Tesco plonk if it meant we had a good evening catching up.

Yeah, they brought mixers so they’d be able to make their favourites with your (inferior) booze.

Your friends sound really uneducated and a bit (hate to use the word) common/basic. They need to get a bloody grip. It's about spending time together and having a lovely time.

Your friends are rude

The more I think about them the more I am fantasising about being the host and while they were biting into the burger they had just rubbished, I would say
Do you know what? Just get out. Put that down. Don't take another bite, just get out of my house you absolute arseholes'.

Then I would hurry them to the door, Wave a cheery 'off you bloody well go', then shut the door and block them from my contacts.

Job done.

Only on MumsNet could you be called 'ghastly' and 'classless' for buying your friends nice food 😂

Could you please explain how anything I said was classless? Because I'm not sure you understand what the word means.

They're very judgy friends.
Even if they think you've catered from a shop that's 'beneath them', it's the height of rudeness to a) quiz you about where you shopped and b) say it's not good enough (in not so many words).
As for buying a new bottle of flavoured gin specially, I wouldn't dream of buying a new bottle of spirits for one night! Wine and beer is one thing. Spirits another.
I would go back to going out for a meal with this couple, and don't ever have them back to yours for a meal!

"Oh my husband only likes Raspberry Gin"

"So Vodka with flavourings? You must be so embarrassed! haha"

Fuck them both. I agree that you need to fuck them both off.

This is what I've been thinking looking through a sudden influx of new threads.