Was my BBQ hosting ‘stingy’ as my friend has suggested

[SingingJess]

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

Please show me where I said there was anything wrong with it.

If I was inviting another couple to my house instead of going out for a meal - which is probably going to cost £100 a head with drinks - I'd be going to a decent butcher and spending £100 on some decent mince for burgers, steaks, sausage, brisket, ribs etc instead of giving them cheap supermarket food.

Hmm there have been a sudden influx of this sort of thread from first time posters who put a crazy thread topic up and don't return. I have the feeling there is a group of kids somewhere who are comparing who's had the most likes and posts.

Did they bring anything to the barbecue and have they hosted you before?

As a gin drinker when I am going to friends houses and intend to drink gin I bring a bottle of gin as my contribution to the drinks, I also ask if they would like us to bring any food or if I can make something. They sound like takers - some people are never satisfied!

Did they bring anything to the BBQ?

What did you say to these rude people?
I would be tempted to tell them that if it wasn't good enough they were free to go home.

Wow she’s awful. Who does that? She’s so rude and def not a friend!!

She isn’t your friend.

Blimey plenty of posts to read through, I’ve done my best to look at most of them!

-To the person who says I made this up, I can assure you my imagination could think of something a bit more exciting than this!

-Prior behaviour - DH has often joked that the wife can be a bit stuck up despite not being of that traditional ‘social standing’ in terms of finances, house etc.

-To why would I say where the food was from? I was asked, innocently I assumed at the time so no reason I wouldn’t have.

-The husband brought some mixer but that was the only thing.

You need to find better friends. What a nasty horrible couple they are...

I say this as a food snob who only shops at Waitrose and M&S - these are not nice people and don’t deserve your kindness or food.

£100 a head?! Where on earth do you eat out? I know everything has gone up but come on.

I can assure you our shop was not ‘cheap’.

Exactly this. Flavoured gin? How low can you go.

I’d go and enjoy one of her high class bbq’s then ditch her on the way out. How are people so rude! All sounds lovely, she’s ungrateful

She's not a friend. To be honest, I would stay well away from her and her DH from now on

fucking hell
I always bring meat and alcohol to a bbq (much more than just for us) as does everyone else we know! there's always plenty of food left over for the neighbours, dogs and for people to bring home.

snobs!

Bloody hell. It’s a bbq at a home with a fan sounding host not a Michelin starred restaurant.

• tight snobs at that! I can't believe they didn't contribute to the alcohol and meat!

The husband brought mixers, she had the cheek to ask where you shop. The bitch & her hubby would NOT EVER be invited back or out socially with me again.

They were dicks. I thought you were going to say that you shared two burgers, a sausage and a chicken wing between you.

If they were thay arsed with manners theyd have brought an offering with them

Instead of taking all your stuff and judging it

You’re the outlier here I think. Most people when hosting a bbq use supermarket meats. They might go to the butchers sometimes but there’s definitely nothing wrong with high end supermarket ranges which the OP provided if it was Tesco finest.

I don’t know anyone who spends £100 per head for a BBQ, or even close. BBQ’s are just as much about the socialisation and being out in the sun as they are about the food, you don’t need to spend ridiculous amounts to enjoy it.

£100/ head? Who spends so much money on the BBQ??? Ok, I know people who pride themselves on good meat feast and spend a fortune but its not a rule, its an exception - and I would never set it as a standard!

Also, if you have a taste for something above standard beer/ wine you bring it with you, especially if you want some special expensive tipple.

Cheeky gets! (Said in the voice of Jim Royle!), we’ve just hosted for our DSs football team and families 33 in total, asked them to bring whatever their drinking and chairs! Asked for dietary requirements only a couple of veggies, but would probably have brought their own, had a lovely
time. To be fair, I just did burger and hotdogs from the butcher (he made sure I had enough and supplied meat and buns) and then whipped up a few salads.

I think your friends were rude, however, turn it around and say you’re happy to learn from them next time!

Your bbq sounds lovely, you sound like you made an effort - a bbq in itself / hosting etc is much more effort than just paying for dinner. Your guest sounds rude and entitled. Absolutely nothing wrong with supermarket bbq food - I usually make my own (when it's just my family of 4) but when we've had guests it's too much so I have bought from Tesco etc and it's very good (and I've questioned why I bother making my own, apart from the extra expense!!)
As for the gin, there's not really much to say about that, it's obviously so ridiculous!! Also the fact that they didn't even bring anything... so so rude.

This!!