Was my BBQ hosting ‘stingy’ as my friend has suggested

[SingingJess]

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

They're awful 😬

Don't feel bad about it, just give them a swerve in future. It's not worth it if they don't appreciate it and try to make you feel belittled, is it?

If you should decide to invite them again, be sure to say the food came from a food bank or a 'too good to go' and the gin you made yourself!

Just here to echo (nearly) everyone.

They aren’t your friends. They might be funny and entertaining, but they aren’t nice and they aren’t your friends.

Oh - and they know nothing about gin. Lidl does amazingly well in taste tests.

Rude and very ungrateful.

T the point she complained about the food and drink, you take the plate away from her and glass from her hand and ask her to leave.

There is absolutely no way I would have tolerated any rudeness.

Well, more fool you having so called friends you feel the need to spend so MUCH on to impress them

What you do is your business, but to imply that serving supermarket meat is somehow poor hosting is very judgemental of of you and shows your own insecurities.

If you had true friends they wouldn't give a shit if you served the finest cut of prime steak from the prize winner in the Best Cow Competition and it costs £100 per half-gram, or if you served a pack of Richmond sausage, slices of bread and ketchup.

Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter

They are unbelievably rude. Omg. How did she have the brass neck to say all that?!

I hope they brought you a generous gift for hosting…

If I was invited to a BBQ id be very grateful for Tesco finest, actually any food really. If they wanted a farm shop BBQ then they can host next time.

But yes, get nicer friends

If I was invited to a BBQ id be very grateful for Tesco finest, actually any food really. If they wanted a farm shop BBQ then they can host next time.

But yes, get nicer friends

What awful people. We went to a friend's for a BBQ this weekend and we brought drinks and pudding - from Co-Op!! Your 'friend' would think I was a cheapskate 😂

They were rude - I have never questioned the origins of food unless I wanted to but it myself. Always bring my own booze, I don’t expect to be catered for and if I don’t like the food I just don’t eat a lot of it.

@BusWankersyou’ve made me crave Richmond sausages on white bread with ketchup now!!!

I’m a massive foodie and love a fancy gin. But those comments are incredibly awful and crass. I’d rapidly make myself unavailable to hang out with anyone who behaved so rudely when someone kindly hosted them. Doesn’t really matter what you served - not that Tesco finest is remotely an issue but if it was Iceland’s basic range my thoughts would be the same.

But the food at Tesco is perfectly nice... You would not be able to tell which brisket was which if I'd bought one from Sainsbury's and One From Finest Organic Butchery, especially after they'd been slow cooked etc.

You're just a snob and trying to make other feel less for serving perfectly good food.

Why are you so insecure that you feel the need to belittle others on their choices?

Here's a mug of value lemonade to wash it down with, for spillages ... theres the kitchen roll... not even in a holder, just standing ( pieces still attached) on the side 😂😂

Most of us don't move in circles where this happens. I buy my chicken breasts from the supermarket because they are from free range corn fed chickens. My butcher makes fabulous beef burgers and sausages, but there is no way I would spend £100 on meat for four people.

You sound like an insufferable snob, just like the OP's ex "friends".

Wow, what awful “friends”

Got it in one!

Nah just a desperate wannabe

they are not friends

Your friend is an absolute twat.

Picky fuckers as well. I don't care if it's a bag of Iceland BBQ stuff, or from M&S. I'm just happy to get invited to these things.

Also I'm a millennial and we just do bring your own food and booze then share everything 😂 your friend would die at that.

I'd never dream of demanding coloured expensive gin when invited to someone's house. In fact, if have no expectation they serve me alcohol at all
It's expensive!

The woman sounds a total bitch. Don't invite them again.

She thought it was a bit stingy to serve spirits from an opened bottle?
You should ask her how she thinks every pub and bar in the country must look then.

And why didn't she think to 'raid' the farm shop when she was coming to yours?

I'd just burst out laughing at that point. Crossing her name off the Christmas card list and hoping she never darkens my door again.

I cannot believe how rude some people could possibly be. Turn up empty handed and then slag off your hosts' generous assembly of food and drink.

Get tae fuck! 🤣

They sound like insufferable wankers with zero class. You were incredibly generous hosts by anybody's metric. Your BBQ sounds lovely and I can't believe you provided booze. Did they come empty handed? guarantee for all their criticism you won't get a reciprocal invite because true hospitality is in the welcome and the kindness shown and they would be terrible hosts. They've shown zero though tfor your feelings. Get new friends!

Wow, what rude ungrateful people. I don't think I would be bothered continuing the friendship

I hate BBQs and gin but there is no way that I would have made that known to you. I would have been so happy that someone had gone to the bother of cooking for me. I hope they bought a gift with them, bet they didn't