Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was my BBQ hosting ‘stingy’ as my friend has suggested

474 replies

SingingJess · 13/07/2025 20:50

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

OP posts:
Tulipvase · 13/07/2025 21:51

RobinStrike · 13/07/2025 20:56

She sounds like Margot from “The Good Life” if you are old enough to know the reference.

But she was nice when it mattered.

Summercocktailsgalore · 13/07/2025 21:51

And what did they bring??

VickyEadieofThigh · 13/07/2025 21:51

Carnation25 · 13/07/2025 20:51

You need nicer friends.

This. I've NEVER had a friend (and I'm 67) who would ever behave like these people.

MumAsYouAre · 13/07/2025 21:53

Wow, what twats. Why are you still friends with these people? (Not a rhetorical question)

HousingMarket · 13/07/2025 21:55

SingingJess · 13/07/2025 20:50

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

Tell your so called friends to fuck off

DrDisrespect · 13/07/2025 21:55

Very snobbish 'friend' IMO

Pl242 · 13/07/2025 21:55

Your BBQ sounds lovely. Invite me next time instead of these arseholes!

TheSilentScreamInYourHead · 13/07/2025 21:55

Don’t tolerate such snobs

Zonder · 13/07/2025 21:56

What did they contribute?

CrushingOnRubies · 13/07/2025 21:56

They sound hideous yanbu. Make sure when they host next you bring a bottle of Lidl wine which is regularly rated excellent and publicise the fact too

BloomingGardens · 13/07/2025 21:56

Your friends were so rude. Imagine specifying a specific brand of gin for a drinks preference! The polite response from the husband would have been - gin and tonic would be lovely if you have some, let me know if not and I'll bring a bottle. Did they bring gifts for you as the hosts?

notanothersummercold · 13/07/2025 21:57

Don't ever have them round again op. Rude pricks.

BeaLola · 13/07/2025 21:57

Your "friends" (I use the term very loosely) were incredibly rude - yourBBQ sounds lovely

What did Mrs Hyacinth Bucket contribute to the event ???? (Apart from her snobbery)

Deap · 13/07/2025 21:58

Pure invention. This didn’t happen. Bit bored OP?

GCAcademic · 13/07/2025 21:59

They sound absolutely vulgar. The properly posh people I know love Lidl and Aldi. And even if they didn’t, they would never comment negatively on your food and drink choices.

Parentsinlaw · 13/07/2025 21:59

No one I know buys an unopened bottle of gin for a dinner. Wine yes, but spirits no. If she is so conscious of her gin, it would have been very nice of her to bring you a bottle of her favourite.
I assume as guests they would bring two bottles of very good wine, flowers or a pudding and possibly a dessert wine. That’s what my DH would do. What did they bring? Given that you shopped, cooked, cleaned up?

PermanentTemporary · 13/07/2025 22:01

Good lord they sound skanky. Who asks where their hosts’ food came from? My mum would have died at the stake rather than ask anything of the sort, but she was quite posh and quite broke and it was a toss up whether she’d raised and killed the meat in our garden, had run it over on the road or had bought it on a yellow sticker. And the idea that you need a new bottle of anything… Ludicrous. Don’t ask them again.

Namerequired · 13/07/2025 22:01

If they wanted flavoured gin surely they should have bought flavoured gin, not put in an order from you. Did they at least bring something?

minnienono · 13/07/2025 22:01

You’ve learnt a lesson though, don’t tell people because they will never know from the taste! Decant food and hide packaging to save yourself from the snobs. I shop almost exclusively in Lidl and when I do venture to farm shops it really doesn’t taste better (except pies oh and those lamb sausages from North Africa, lidl doesn’t sell those). As for the gin, ridiculous, why would you buy a new bottle

NoBodyIdRatherBe · 13/07/2025 22:01

No one with any class behaves like this. Get new friends.

Parentsinlaw · 13/07/2025 22:02

gcacademic oh yes! My very posh chum who has a cellar at browns brothers or something loves lidl.

minnienono · 13/07/2025 22:03

The other thing is properly posh people wouldn’t care, and have manners

Teanbiscuits33 · 13/07/2025 22:03

She sounds insufferably snobbish, rude and ungrateful. I’d be texting her and saying something along the lines of:

‘It’s unfortunate that the BBQ we hosted wasn’t up to your high standards - we hoped you’d enjoy yourself. Since our budget doesn’t stretch to the standard of food and drink you are clearly accustomed to, we won’t insult you by inviting you to any future BBQs ’’

I wouldn’t care what she said back. What an ungrateful bitch.

DancyNancy · 13/07/2025 22:03

Not good genuine friends 😔
Sorry OP

F*#k that snobby shite

PizzaEater54 · 13/07/2025 22:04

What a snob. Your BBQ sounds lovely I like a certain fruity gin too, but would've bought my own. Plus a gift for the hosts.

Swipe left for the next trending thread