Was my BBQ hosting ‘stingy’ as my friend has suggested

[SingingJess]

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

I think the "friends" were stingy by only bringing mixers. I wouldn't dream of going to someone else's house for a meal without taking at least a bottle of wine.

Friend (Wife) is not your friend... actually she sounds like a right bitch!

What mixers were they? What brand? If not at least from Waitrose I’d also have to mention it 😂

I can't help wondering what they provided, last time they invited you.

Perhaps the wife makes a special effort to spend as much as she can in the hope that it will impress people.

She is not classy to sneer at others who spend less.

Agree. It’s appalling manners to turn il without a bottle of wine and a few beers at the very least.

And if you drink a particular spirit that’s not basic vodka/bacardi/whiskey then you bring your own bottle

Hope its not Fever Tree. Because that is appallingly cheap shite that is branded as luxury and so many stupid (aka the OPs friend!) fall for it. Their marketing dept did a proper good one on that!

ETA obviously fever tree isnt cheap to buy but it is cheap crap that is overpriced

She's a stuck up snob and wouldn't be invited again.

Can’t believe people behave like this. Have they ever heard of manners?

She actually said to your face, ‘that’s a bit stingy’ because you used some gin you already had?

I can’t stand stinginess but what difference does it make if it’s gin you already had or a new bottle??

If this is true, I’d have told her to get fucked (maybe not to her face lol) but she certainly wouldn’t be coming back to my house again the cheeky cow.

Wow that is so rude. I know some very wealthy people and none of them would act like this. Terrible.

Bloody hell, where are you eating?

Just been on holiday for a week (in the UK) with DP and (adult) DD. Ate out every night and didn't have a single meal come to £100 for all 3 of us, let alone per head!

Oh my God! Your friends are so rude! Your bbq sounds lovely, next time invite meeee instead!

The cost of the food is irrelevant. The dreadful 'friend' (clearly not, but there we go) was simply rude.

If someone is only civilised company because they believe 'enough' money has been spent on entertaining them, then they really are not very civilised company.

Your guests were rude.
Ditch them.

@BusWankersi would happily attend your BBQ

Your friend sounds ungrateful, ungracious and a snob. In other words, take no notice of what she said - her opinion isn't worth anything.

I happen to like Fever Tree.

When someone invites you round and feeds you, the correct response is 'thank you'.

I would have loved to come to your BBQ and if there was anything special I wanted, I'd have jolly well brought it round myself. You deserve better friends.

'Cheap supermarket food'. It wasn't cheap and not all butchers' stuff is great. If you're invited over for a meal, don't be rude and start criticizing the food. Br grateful that someone's catering for you.

i agree. Margot was nothing like this woman

Are people really still snobby about Lidl?

What a pair of knobs.

In what world is it normal to not only tolerate but be find enough to call someone a friend who seemingly blurts out their every Hyacinth Bucket thought?!

Your friend was horrible but she sounds like someone who would criticise anything out of habit. Some people are like that all their lives, people are frightened to contradict them! Lidl is actually well known to have good drink and it makes sense to use up opened bottles of spirits before cracking open a new one. Pay no attention - nothing wrong with Tesco either, or any supermarket. They are all doing good barbecue stuff atm.

She would never step foot in my home again. Seriously never. And I’d have told her at the time yikes that’s a bit rude, you’re welcome we have fed you! But I know it can be tricky in the moment. She’s an outrageously rude bitch and I’d be dodging her in the future.

”Hello friend. Sorry to hear you were disappointed with our hospitality the other day. We’ll be sure not to host yourself and your husband again, to avoid disappointing you”.