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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was my BBQ hosting ‘stingy’ as my friend has suggested

474 replies

SingingJess · 13/07/2025 20:50

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

OP posts:
Carnation25 · 13/07/2025 20:51

You need nicer friends.

Purpleturtle45 · 13/07/2025 20:51

They would not be any friends of mine that's for sure! If you want something specific then you bring it! It was very kind of you to host and they were very ungrateful and rude!

DappledThings · 13/07/2025 20:53

They are spectacularly rude arseholes. You hosted perfectly well. Are they usually this unpleasant?

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/07/2025 20:53

Def rude friends

next time tell them you are doing essentials products from aldi

they may cancel and save you loads of money

alphabetti · 13/07/2025 20:53

Your friends behaved badly i would have asked are you trying to be rude on purpose or just not thinking.

PluckyChancer · 13/07/2025 20:54

Feck them off as they’re pathetic snobs and not real friends.

Zucker · 13/07/2025 20:54

I would never host them again! You did nothing wrong.

Heyheyitsanotherday · 13/07/2025 20:54

Ungrateful sods. They’re no real friends sadly. And snooty to boot. I’d have to tell them how unreasonably rude they are

afaloren · 13/07/2025 20:55

Dear god! Are people really like this? (Them
not you.)

Don’t invite them again.

TheFormidableMrsC · 13/07/2025 20:55

What a pair of ungrateful rude arseholes. No manners, no class. I would never have them round again. Vile.

JMSA · 13/07/2025 20:55

YANBU. Your BBQ sounds lovely and they were rude!

WimpoleHat · 13/07/2025 20:55

Wow. That’s incredibly rude.

FateAmenableToChange · 13/07/2025 20:55

If thats what she is saying out loud, imagine what shes saying behind your back. I wouldnt have her anywhere near me again.

Tudorduxbury · 13/07/2025 20:56

They’re twats and trying to show off

RobinStrike · 13/07/2025 20:56

She sounds like Margot from “The Good Life” if you are old enough to know the reference.

Mandarinaduck · 13/07/2025 20:56

Gosh what snobs! Your hosting sounds lovely.

SaintNoMountainHighEnough · 13/07/2025 20:57

Your friends are dicks.

CanOfMangoTango · 13/07/2025 20:57

The wife sounds like an unpleasant snob.

Are you sure you actually like them?

TomatoSandwiches · 13/07/2025 20:57

They were very rude, I'd not bother with them again.

ShamrockShenanigans · 13/07/2025 20:57

Why on earth do you want a 'friend' like this OP?

Surely you can't be that desperate?

She wouldn't have left my house without getting short shrift for being too tight to bring a bottle of gin.

BusWankers · 13/07/2025 20:57

She's fucking rude and will clearly never be invited to yours again!

AnotherGreyMorning · 13/07/2025 20:57

Awful people.

Saralyn · 13/07/2025 20:58

Who the hell buys a new bottle of gin each time they have guests?

labamba18 · 13/07/2025 20:58

SingingJess · 13/07/2025 20:50

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

What awful friends! Your bbq sounds lovely. And having gin that’s already open makes zero difference. Next time definitely don’t invite them.

TY78910 · 13/07/2025 20:58

Why are they your friends?