Was my BBQ hosting ‘stingy’ as my friend has suggested

[SingingJess]

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

Suggest they host next time so you can see how it’s done ! Honestly there was nothing wrong with what you did it sounds lovely

These people are not friends.

They are ignorant snobs with their heads up their own arses.

I am assuming they didn’t think to contribute?

This woman is not your friend.

You need higher standards definitely. But not in the catering. Raise the bar considerably in your selection of friends and dump the judgemental, rude cow

I have had thee exact same thing done to me! It’s unreal how rude people can be. I am obv not friends with this woman now. Think she was offered a Lidl branded biscuits instead of a twix and she actually said her kids wouldn’t eat Lidl shite! She is broke and had to sell her home. Meanwhile I am eating my Lidl shite in my house with my mortgage paid off 🤣

What rude, tacky, vulgar and snobby people.

Your bbq sounds of far higher quality than your company.

Are all the posts on MN today just utter bollocks?

Your friend has low self esteem.

She sounds like the worst sort of ‘would-be posh’ - with no idea of what constitutes basic good manners.

And of course your offerings weren’t remotely stingy!

I think age and geography has made me a little more blunt. I’d have told her she sounds like Mrs Bucket.
You are definitely NOT stingy OP. Your barbecue and drinks options were lovely.
What sort of restaurants do you normally go to though?

Post like this make me feel so sad. I am friendly, polite, fun, ask follow up questions, offer to do the washing up, always bring a gift and don't begrudge taking off my shoes if asked and yet I very rarely get invited anywhere. And then there twats like the OPs 'friend' who still manage to get invited to things?! How?! Why?!

She'd be obnoxious just thinking that, but saying it out loud? What a bitch. Just take comfort from the fact that she is so insecure she has to bolster her inage by bragging about what shops/brands she uses, as if it makes her superior. It doesn't. Money can't buy class.

I would rather have a tight friend than a rude , stuck up one !!!
Hopefully the cost of living crisis hits their mansion soon and she has to come down to shop with us commoners in Lidl !

What a stuck up cow! And this is meant to be a friend. They should be grateful you put out the gin, I wouldn’t have given them any.

You sound like a great host, don’t invite them next time, the can piss off to the farm shop and get there own gin xx

I put YABU - only because you are being so unreasonable having friends like this. Why are you even asking if YABU?

Also I can't believe this is the first time the wife has shown her true colours - has she got form for this type of thing? I would be deleting them from my contacts list and my life!

What dreadful, rude people. Very poor form.

I'm constantly amazed at what so many people tolerate in their 'friends'.

These people are rude, judgmental arseholes and I wouldn't be spending time with them going forward.

How rude! Nothing the matter with stuff from Lidl. If they want speciality spirits, they'd better bring them themselves. They sound like utter snobs.

Your bbq sounds lovely. They are very very rude.

Your ‘friend’ is an ungrateful cunt

Misses the point but the Lidl “posh” London dry gin is delicious!

What did they bring as a contribution/gift/gesture?

Your friends are rude and entitled. I would supply food, beer/wine. They are welcome to spirits if we have any in but I wouldn’t buy in especially.

i would step back from them as friends.

They were very rude. How long have you been friends with them? I couldn't imagine any of my friends acting like that. If it was a fairly new friendship I would be fading them out. I wouldn't want to be around snobbery like that.

I find it hard to believe people like this exist and you are mates with them. Did you not tell her she was being rude?

If they have certain exact needs/wants then should bring their venison burgers and gin made with angels hair.

When we go to BBQ'S food is only half of the fun - the people are the best bit and the food/drink a bonus. As long as you don't give me food poisoning - I don't give a damn. And we'd never go empty handed.