Was my BBQ hosting ‘stingy’ as my friend has suggested

[SingingJess]

DH and I hosted a couple of friends last night - we usually go out for dinner etc but with the nice weather agreed we would host a BBQ which they were very much up for. We exchanged messages in the week on what we’d cook and any drink preferences.

Here is the issue:

-Friend (wife) asked me where the food was from. I said most of it was Tesco’s finest BBQ range (we had a mix of chicken, burgers etc - it wasn’t cheap). She called this ‘not a bad budget option’ and said that when they do a BBQ, they raid the local farm shop. I’m sure that’s lovely, but also out of our budget.

-One of the drink requests was for flavoured gin which the husband likes. Now my DH also likes gin, and we have a lot of bottles here. So rather than spend money on a new bottle, we put out the gin that we have. Friend (wife) whilst in the kitchen with me pointed out a bottle of gin from Lidl and casually said that I ‘can’t expect her husband to touch something from there’.

-Later in the evening, she told me she thought it was a bit stingy of us to ‘recycle’ gin we already have rather than buy a new bottle for the occasion.

They both said thanks at the end of the night for us hosting and for the food, but I got the impression they were unimpressed.

My question is - was I being tight or do you not see an issue in us not investing in a brand new bottle of something we already had plenty of?

I never knew there was anything wrong with “supermarket food” 😱

I thought it was just food!

This is not how real friends react to hospitality. Also well bred people never ever make their hosts feel uncomfortable and are happy to eat and swig down what is on offer.

Your friend (wife) is a ridiculous snob. If her DH tasted the gin and didn't like it that's one thing but to suggest a product shouldn't pass his lips because it came from Lidl! And serving spirits from an opened bottle, of course that's fine. She sounds a right Hyacinth Bucket, absolutely classless. Can I come to your next bbq please?

Your friends have no class or manners. They have no right to be snobbish to anyone.

I can’t imagine going to someone’s house for dinner and asking where they bought the food - unless it was because I’d particularly enjoyed something and wanted to buy it for myself. And if I wanted something specific to drink, I’d bring it with me, along with another bottle of something I knew you liked to say thank you for hosting. They are rude!

She was very rude. I wouldn't say anything, but I'd phase her out as she isn't a real friend.

As long as you had enough food and drinks, that's all that matters

What did they bring? They sound ghastly.

They’d spontaneously combust at our bbq then as it’s mainly yellow stickered meat marinated etc and there’s no way I’d buy a new bottle of spirits if I have opened bottles perfectly fine

I wouldn't dream of asking where the food was from.

They're rude snobs. Pretentious, rude snobs.
I wouldn't invite them to anything ever again.

They sound thoroughly awful OP, you certainly shouldn’t be questioning yourself, they were rude, and ungrateful, you deserve so much better. Don't waste another minute of your time with such ill mannered guests.

You need new friends, so rude.

How can you stand being around a total cunt like her?

Nothing wrong with your hosting!
I wouldn't be inviting them again

They seem entirely hung up on where you bought the food and drink from not what it tasted like. As such they just seem to be shopping snobs.

Bumped in to an old friend in Lidl the other day.
She worked in Michelin kitchens in her 20s &30s.
When we all were hanging out at the toddler stage, she'd tactfully take over and suddenly the pile of carrot sticks on IKEA plates would be utterly transformed. She is amazing, highly skilled and lovely with it.
It's not about the shop, it's how you put it together, how you serve it (warmth and care and a smile)

DD and I had a meal the other night that neither of us really paid attention to, the pasta overbooked, the sauce was scorched, it was just dolloped on with no pepper, cheese or fresh herbs, we both apologised to each other but noted what happens without care.

@SingingJess surely you knew the answer to your question before posting here 🤣
your friends wife is a rude arsehole.

Your BBQ sounds lovely.
If I was attending a BBQ I would expect to contribute at least the equivalent of what we were likely to eat. I would also expect to bring anything I particularly wanted to drink, to also be shared.
Your friend was expecting you to buy a £30 plus bottle of gin for her dh?

She has absolutely no manners. Apparently money can buy premium flavoured gin but it can't buy you class. Don't invite them again.

Rest assured her rudeness comes from a place of insecurity about her social status. She's trying to find someone she can feel superior to which is just sad.

This is unbelievably rude! Would you ever act like that towards this friend, when she had kindly hosted you and made you a lovely meal? Never I'm sure. I'm gobsmacked to be honest. I've never heard anything like that sort of behaviour in response to being invited to a meal!

Why are you tolerating this? Block them both and never speak to either of them again. They sound completely dreadful!

I'm not getting why if you normally meet up at restaurants, then why wasn't the cost of the BBQ split? Were they going to host next? it depends on were you'd normally eat. If there were only four of you then a farm shop should still be less than the restaurant. I don't rate Lidl's alcohol. So if the BBQ was to replace a meal out, I'd be a bit disappointed tbh. But there should have been better communication on both sides beforehand and she could have made her points less rude.

Lidl gin is award winning. Let your awful snobby friend know that.

Since when did guests get to order exactly what food and drink they're having (dietary needs aside)?

She's incredibly rude so much so that I would have suggested if she wasn't happy with the food and drink, she was welcome to leave.

I've never heard anything as bonkers as expecting a new bottle of gin?