Feel uneasy with my partner’s suggestions on splitting food/toiletries costs

[Amber991]

Hi all, I am looking for some second opinions. I moved in with my partner a few months ago. All has been going well, but recently he has started saying we should have a fairer split of our food and toiletries bill, which we usually halve.

Every time we do our main weekly shop, he now goes item by item with the receipt and splits this out. But it goes to the length of him even taking into account if I have leftovers for lunch the next day, and putting a weighting towards this so I pay more. If he thinks I’ll have an extra pack of crisps from a multi pack, he will weight that.

I have a recent stomach issue which I’m seeing my Doctor about which means I’ve been going to the loo more than usual and have been really uncomfortable. So when he went through the receipt yesterday and there was loo roll, I had to pay more on the basis I’ve been using more.

I find this really OTT! Does anyone do similar in terms of the split or do you agree it’s strange?

He will only get worse, mean and petty people always get worse.
Ditch, you deserve better.

This relationship is doomed. What a tightarse. Make sure your contraception is rock solide, better still, get out now.

this is not normal. Stop eating / using “joint” food for the week and when you eat at home keep it to beans on toast. See if he’s willing to pay more if he’s eating more.

This.

@Amber991 bad choice!!

@Keepingoin i get that you don’t read the hundreds of responses before you post, that’s up to you

do you read any of the OPs updates in a thread?

You're not compatible living together. What happens if you decide the breed with him? It'll get into Twilight zone territory.

You dont have to split up. You just will probably be happier living apart I think.

Abnormal. Get out whilst you can.

Far from normal and you don't have to agree to it. Tell him he is being utterly ridiculous.

I couldn’t believe what I was reading when he made you pay more for eating leftovers but then I got to the toilet paper. I’m absolutely gobsmacked! That is completely awful.

im coeliac and all my gluten free stuff costs a ton! My husband has never made me pay more than even though he’s paying for loads of expensive food he doesn’t eat. My bread costs 4 times his bread.

Well thank fuck you haven't bought and you haven't got kids. Get away from this nasty weirdo right away. What an utter fucking freak.

This will just get worse.

imagine if you stay and have kids! He would resent your maternity leave and refuse to help out financially. Imagine him paying towards nappies and frivolous stuff like toys and baby clothes! you would be financially ruined while he sits on a mountain of savings in his name.

run

Being stingy is the worst quality man can have… It will only get worse with the time. Leave him to his money

Red flag

OP i know the dating pool can be a mix but come on really are you going to settle for this? Dont waste anymore time on this one two years is long enough he will scrutinize everything with a fine toothcomb itl start off financially then itl change to other areas. Could you imagine u had a friend round or family, can imagine him saying he'd counted the number of squares left on the loo rool prior to them arriving and following them leaving and YOUR friend or family member used x amount so you would have to pay more! I mean thats pathetic, its borderline OCD, thats not a man! Only one person he is looking out for and thats himself. Does he own his current house or renting? I bet ur paying more than half his mortgage! Next thing u know hel be trying to charge you for the air you breath in his house! I couldn't please dump this one you can and will do so much better

Wow. He'll be splitting the cost of air soon.

Absolutely do not buy a house with this man

He's clearly not suited to cohabiting.

I'd move out. It won't get better. Begrudging you a bag or crisps more and extra toilet paper? Mali g you feel constantly watched and consioys he's tallying it up when you get a biscuit? Nah, sod that. That's no way to live. How could you still fancy him? You're only a few months in, that honeymoon period was short lived.

What did you mean about paying an extra contribution on top to make it fair?

Well it will be cheaper living with you sharing the bills than it will be living alone, which is what he needs to go back to doing. I honestly think this a is a massive red flag. It’s possible it stems from a mental health issue that makes him panicky about money, but even if that’s the case the impact on you is unacceptable. Have you actually gone alone with it and paid what he’s said? Telling him to fuck off would be a more suitable approach. Seriously, don’t even give him a second chance, just get rid of him. There’s no coming back from being charged for leftovers and an extra packet of crisps. What a controlling knobhead!

Omg! He doesn’t sound quite right in the head. Long term with him is not going to be any fun at all. You deserve better and should go and seek it elsewhere

Tightness is an incurable mental health illness, just like hoarding is.

It will never, ever change, because the miser's primary love interest is the running balance sheet that exists where his heart should be. The love bit, the obsession he has, is in his side of that balance sheet coming off better than the other side where you and the rest of the world is. He is unable for any reason whatsoever to let the world get one up on him. He cannot give anyone anything EVER without there being a reciprocal entry in return. That will even include his own children one day.

Now you have seen this, you will hopefully develop the most enormous ick and get yourself away from him.

The only people who stay in a relationship with a miser are the poor women who end up in a co-dependant loop of constantly proving to the miser how they are not after his money and spend their lives existing on the crumbs that the feeling of denying themselves to prove how good and trustworthy they are gives them. Please do not let that be you.

Run away now. After having made a loo paper decoration.

Yes exactly this! 🤣🤣🤣

Is he equally mean in bed.

Leave op, or have a miserable, penny pinching future.

Live alone OP!

Even as a solo mum, it's fabulous.

Who the fuck counts toilet roll tissues used?! Utterly unhinged.