Page 10 | Dd(10) uninvited from party

freddiewini · 2025-07-13T17:56:00+00:00

Dd (10) was invited to a girl in her classes leavers party after their last day. She’s not best friends with this girl, just friends but she was excited. All the girls invited( only 8 in total ) some of the boys. She has now been uninvited because the boy the girl fancies told his friends he fancies dd. Dd doesn’t even like this boy or care about boys in general (thank god) But the girl doesn’t want dd at her party because he will be there. Dd has since been called names and been made fun of by this girl at school. Her mums answer when I queried was just sorry but you know what girls that age are like when it comes to boys. I would be unreasonable to let dd have her own party here wouldnt I? Dds best friends mum is encouraging me to. We have more room and a swimming pool and I know dd is generally more liked, girl has history of being mean and upsetting people. What if we have it this weekend, (they breakup Tuesday after) inviting the other girls but obviously not the one who’s been mean to her? I

WearyAuldWumman · 13/07/2025 22:43

freddiewini · 13/07/2025 22:11

will arrange an end of year party for this weekend so 2 days before they break up. We won’t be inviting this girl not as revenge but we because dd shouldn’t have to be kind to someone who is mean to her. I wouldn’t have someone who called me names and made fun of my appearance in my house so don’t know why she should. I’m a bit shocked at how many people want her invited, that was never an option.

dds best friend doesn’t want to go to the other girls party now anyway so will think of something fun to on that day instead

I agree with all of this.

I would have been so upset if my mother had even considered inviting my bully to our home.

MumWifeOther · 13/07/2025 22:46

Yes I would.

Alwaysyoudoyou · 13/07/2025 22:46

WearyAuldWumman · 13/07/2025 22:43

I agree with all of this.

I would have been so upset if my mother had even considered inviting my bully to our home.

Show quote history

Yeah seriously! There's likely going to be a time where you have to suck it up and work with people like that, but doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to socialise with or host them!! Especially not at this age.

BubblesMacgee · 13/07/2025 22:47

Must be something in the water - my eldest daughter had exactly the same problem when 11, uninvited from a party in a tussle over a boy when she wasn't even interested in boys! The party that she got bounced from was a big spend item and a huge deal for her classmates - she was really hurt. We had a nice evening out on the evening of the party she was missing, just noodles and cinema, and then hosted a garden party and sleepover for about 15 of her friends the following weekend - put a big canvas yurt up outside, made their own pizzas and pancakes from scratch, all of the girls had manicures and pedicures and the biggest tussle of the evening was who got to have the dog next to them when they all crashed out in their sleeping bags downstairs. Several years on and in Uni most of them have reunited to go to a festival together and ended up hosting the group again for the night before departure - same girls, same downstairs crash space, and I was surprised how much they wanted to talk about our thrown together cheapo party when they were 11! (Incidentally none of them seemed to remember much about the big posh party that my daughter got excluded from, apart from the fact that the mum and dad were rowing all the time about the cost) Ended up with another mani pedi session in the wee small hours but with less pizza and more vodka - I did not appreciate being hauled out of bed to have my feet filed as I am an old bird now and need my sleep - but just goes to show that good memories do last from this age. Have a lovely time with your girl x

ramonaquimby · 13/07/2025 22:48

"I know dd is generally more liked, girl has history of being mean and upsetting people"

how do parents know if their kids are 'generally more liked'
Also. retaliatory mean of you to mention the meanness

gawd I hated this part of primary school gate mums

hellosunshineminesagin · 13/07/2025 22:49

As a teacher I see this sort of thing. Awful behaviour of the mother.

Noone wants to wait until the day after school finishes to have a party, they want it on the same day.

absolutely definitely have a party- on the actual day that school finishes. Invite all of the boys too and make it really inclusive. Order dominos. Invite all the parents for a drink too, encourage them all to bring a bottle. This is a big time for parents too and you have all been on a journey together. This is the kind of party we had for my DS finishing primary and it was lovely. At the end of the evening all the dds left to go to another house for a sleepover and all the DSs stayed at the host’s house for a sleepover and the parents went home in Ubers. You should offer all of the DD’s to sleep over at yours. Suggest to a mum of one of the DSs to do the same for the boys. Include the mean dd if you can bring yourself to.

The next day they will have had so little sleep they will likely all cancel on the other party anyway!!

Pipsquiggle · 13/07/2025 22:50

freddiewini · 13/07/2025 22:34

In my OP I said ‘dd has since been called names and made fun of by this girl at school’ ?

Show quote history

@freddiewini apologies. I misread it.

LookingAtMyBhunas · 13/07/2025 22:53

you know what girls that age are like when it comes to boys

At 10 ??

BunnyLake · 13/07/2025 23:03

hellosunshineminesagin · 13/07/2025 22:49

As a teacher I see this sort of thing. Awful behaviour of the mother.

Noone wants to wait until the day after school finishes to have a party, they want it on the same day.

absolutely definitely have a party- on the actual day that school finishes. Invite all of the boys too and make it really inclusive. Order dominos. Invite all the parents for a drink too, encourage them all to bring a bottle. This is a big time for parents too and you have all been on a journey together. This is the kind of party we had for my DS finishing primary and it was lovely. At the end of the evening all the dds left to go to another house for a sleepover and all the DSs stayed at the host’s house for a sleepover and the parents went home in Ubers. You should offer all of the DD’s to sleep over at yours. Suggest to a mum of one of the DSs to do the same for the boys. Include the mean dd if you can bring yourself to.

The next day they will have had so little sleep they will likely all cancel on the other party anyway!!

You’re a teacher and you're encouraging op to have a party on the same day as the ‘mean girl’? Anyway OP has come up with a good compromise that will keep dd happy with no need to lower herself to achieve that.

SilverHammer · 13/07/2025 23:03

HappyHedgehog247 · 13/07/2025 22:39

I would only do it if it didn't clash and everyone is invited.

Why? Why should she invite a bully who uninvited her.

Keepingoin · 13/07/2025 23:17

I'd have the leavers party for ypur DD but I'd also invite the mean girl. Two wrongs don't make a right.

justasking111 · 13/07/2025 23:21

Moved my DS a year early to a private school because of issues. Son didn't want to miss the end of school party so did it a year early. Hired a stretch limo to pick up all his friends. They then went bowling, a drive around some sights and back to our house for a hot tub party and BBQ.

The head was not amused apparently but the teachers were 🤣

pinkstripeycat · 13/07/2025 23:23

Ooooh poooool party! Don’t call it leavers party as pool party sounds so much better 🥳

JFDIYOLO · 13/07/2025 23:42

Do it. And invite the mean girl too. She won't turn up, you'll have risen above that sort of behaviour. (Or she may ditch her own party).

Hulabalu · 13/07/2025 23:53

Why not have party same day / time as other girls party?

MrsSunshine2b · 13/07/2025 23:56

Well, the Mum has been quite clear that she's happy to tolerate mean girl behaviour, so I can't see why they'd have a problem with this. I'd do it. The mean girl will have opportunity to learn from it and mend her ways before secondary school.

strawlight · 13/07/2025 23:59

What time is the mean girls party? Because I would start yours about 90 minutes later.

Isitreallysohard · 14/07/2025 00:00

GrannyGoggles · 13/07/2025 19:07

Don’t. Go high, not low

This. How ridiculous to throw a party and not invite the girl, petty and pathetic. You'd be a terrible role model for your daughter. Have a party, but invite everyone.

justasking111 · 14/07/2025 00:08

Isitreallysohard · 14/07/2025 00:00

This. How ridiculous to throw a party and not invite the girl, petty and pathetic. You'd be a terrible role model for your daughter. Have a party, but invite everyone.

Show quote history

Really you teach your daughter to be a doormat?

saraclara · 14/07/2025 00:08

Isitreallysohard · 14/07/2025 00:00

This. How ridiculous to throw a party and not invite the girl, petty and pathetic. You'd be a terrible role model for your daughter. Have a party, but invite everyone.

Show quote history

Nope. It would be extremely mean to have her party at the same time, but given that it's going to be on a different day, DD gets to invite who she wants. She doesn't owe the spiteful girl anything.

76evie · 14/07/2025 00:09

freddiewini · 13/07/2025 22:11

will arrange an end of year party for this weekend so 2 days before they break up. We won’t be inviting this girl not as revenge but we because dd shouldn’t have to be kind to someone who is mean to her. I wouldn’t have someone who called me names and made fun of my appearance in my house so don’t know why she should. I’m a bit shocked at how many people want her invited, that was never an option.

dds best friend doesn’t want to go to the other girls party now anyway so will think of something fun to on that day instead

I’m glad you are holding her an end of year party and not inviting the bully. I really hope the girls mum texts so you can reply with the same crap she gave you! I hope no one shows up to her party a few days later, sometimes that’s the only way a mean girl will learn to change her behaviour especially as her mum obviously endorses it!!

Isitreallysohard · 14/07/2025 00:10

justasking111 · 14/07/2025 00:08

Really you teach your daughter to be a doormat?

Show quote history

Of course not, but I agree with "go high". This is just immature and petty, it makes far too much of a big deal about it. I'd teach my daughter confidence and self respect and not to care and react to some insignificant person that will have no effect on my life.

Pixiedusty · 14/07/2025 00:11

Off topic and perhaps I'm old school, but isn't 10 year olds too young to be fancying anyone?!

Isitreallysohard · 14/07/2025 00:15

Pixiedusty · 14/07/2025 00:11

Off topic and perhaps I'm old school, but isn't 10 year olds too young to be fancying anyone?!

Good point. All this drama over a boy. What are you teaching your daughters ladies!

Isitreallysohard · 14/07/2025 00:17

@justasking111 the girl looks like a dick, OPs daughter having a party and not inviting the girl, then makes her look like an even bigger dick (or bitch). HTH