To think most men would cheat if they knew they’d never be caught?

[OneMauveMentor]

It’s not about love - it’s about opportunity, ego, and lack of consequences. “Good men” are often just men who haven’t had the chance (yet). Loyalty when untested isn’t real loyalty.

Given the opportunity both men and women would. Anyone who says their husband or wife wouldn't for whatever reason are very naive. Plus cheating comes in different forms not just sex

I 100% agree yes they would.

I don’t believe women would at all, most of them have no interest in cheating and are motivated by different reasons. Men it’s just horniness and I feel sorry for them having to control that all the time 😁

Who were those men cheating with though?
I can't beleive loads of single attractive women really want to have affairs with married men.

You only have to look at relationships board. Always seeing posts ‘I thought I had a good one’.

You dont think women cheat?

I know women cheat, but for deeper reasons than just wanting sex. Yes they do.

They were all younger women. I assume they were single, but actually don’t know what their relationship status was.

If they know they couldn’t get caught? Absolutely. I think infidelity is far, far higher than any of us would comfortably like to admit.
Also agree with a PP. For women, exit affairs are a thing. Whereas most men would stick it anywhere if there was zero chance the wife would find out. And they have no intention of ever leaving her, why would they? For them, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s actually just a boost to his poor little fragile ego, but most can’t actually recognise that. Many men compartmentalise sex in a way that a lot of women don’t.

I don't think mumsnet relationship board is proof of anything .

My (pretty handsome, funny and personable) husband has been chatted up a few times. Either I have been in the same party and seen it happen or he has told me. Someone at his office fancied him a few years ago and he asked to change project to not work directly with her as it was awkward.
I am 99.9% certain he has never acted on these. He is so loyal to us, his family, and coming from a divorced family (his dad left for his mum's best friend) knows the pain it causes everyone.
I mean you never know but it would be hugely out of character.

So therefore could well have Been cheating themselves.

Cheating is cheating.

I know women cheat, yes. I was referring to the trip abroad situation above. Sorry I didn’t word it very well.

There seems to be different motivations for men and women to cheat. Men would love a one time thing that would never be found out, I don’t think most would women want that. Sorry again for not using the quotes.

If they “knew they’d never get caught” then you’re talking about socially acceptable polygamy which by definition would then be acceptable to the women of society also.
Basic biology pushes men to have as much sex with any many women as possible to further the species. Similarly womens core biology is geared around getting pregnant then finding stability and protection to raise their children. The two are both complementary and fundamentally at odds with each other, which is where so many of the relationship issues come up. Only societal norms and religion (itself made up) have introduced the made up concepts of marriage and monogamy. Look at other cultures where polygamy is the norm. So yes, if you remove the societal constraint to be loyal to a single partner then many men would “cheat”. Except it wouldn’t be cheating. It would be normal behaviour.

I 100% agree

I think it very much depends on the individual. My ex would have done for sure: my DH I am as certain as I can be wouldn’t. He wouldn’t put up with infidelity from me, and neither would he be unfaithful himself, and I don’t think I’m deluding myself. I have a very good (male) friend from university, ex-army, an absolutely pukka chap, and I know he wouldn’t, either. It’s just not the way he’s made - think Norman Tebbit, and like the late politician, my friend too stood by and looked after a disabled wife. There really are some good men out there - it’s just sad that there are so many who aren’t.

The reason for cheating is irrelevant.

Of course women cheat.

I've known women who've cheated. I've also known more women who don't care that the man they're sleeping with is married.

Most of the women I know who've cheated do so because they still want to believe they're attractive to men, have had some sort of 'glow up' and are enjoying a new found attractiveness to men or like the idea of being chosen above the wife (validating an inner need to feel 'better' than).

We all know what men can be like (eg hitting on random women on a night out). Don't be fooled into thinking there aren't attached women who respond positively to it.

Both men and women cheat for many reasons. But they both still cheat.

I agree with you OP

Women cheat, but nothing on the scale of men.

No because I haven't organised it for him

👏🏻😂

OP, if I knew I'd never be caught, there is no end to the things I would do! 😈

I think most people would cheat if they knew 100% the wouldn't get caught.
We are selfish and like to look out for number one.

Yes. Anyone - male or female - is capable of cheating if the circumstances are right.

Equally, anyone is capable of remaining faithful.