To think most men would cheat if they knew they’d never be caught?

[OneMauveMentor]

It’s not about love - it’s about opportunity, ego, and lack of consequences. “Good men” are often just men who haven’t had the chance (yet). Loyalty when untested isn’t real loyalty.

You are in denial or oblivious, how many women wouldn't have a fling with that gorgeous hulk down the road if she found him really attractive, he was very interested and there were absolutely no consequences? Of course, 'women wouldn't do that' and equally obviously men would (gorgeous willing woman down the road). If you take away consequences it is so much easier for men or women to indulge in what might have been a fantasy. It always takes two anyway (if you hadn't noticed) so on average an equal number of men and women are unfaithful, it's not just a man thing.

Women cheat and you know this so why not just head up your thread- would most people cheat if they knew they wouldn't get caught.

Have you had a recent bad experience or been cheated on a lot in the past?

I'm not sure which is worse. Probably both just as bad.

Appalling

As a man (sorry I'm not a Mum but I'm realising there's as many men as women on MN), I just had to reply to this, you might even be my (now ex) OH, as this is the sort of thing she would say!

I found your post, and others, quite enlightening about why women might cheat. I think opportunity and ego were probably part of why my OH cheated so much. As for lack of consequences, I think that translates to not giving a shit about the consequences, or that a casual shag here or there was worth the risk. Before we met I did plenty of shagging around, always being sensible enough to take precautions and mindful of the consequences if i didn't. But when I met my OH I was besotted with her from day 1 and despite lots of opportunities continuing to pass my way, and some of them very tempting in the moment, fidelity felt completely natural having previously having been sceptical and quite happily single.

Fast forward 16 years and 2 DC's later, and it turns out she'd been shagging around for much of our relationship, I guess at every 'opportunity' - with colleagues, ONS's, strangers, including (among others) in the back of our car, in a dingy piss stinking car park, even in a strip club ffs. So I guess I must have become that unattractive, impotent man no woman would lust after as one poster responded above. On the other hand, maybe I just loved her so much I couldn't contemplate doing something so hurtful.

Are these men cheating with other menor just doing it alone it no longer takes two to tango just one man already in a relationship lol

Statistically men are more likely to cheat than women, and I also saw the study that 1/3 men would rape if they knew they wouldn’t be caught.

I once saw a college specific study that was 46%, grim.

I absolutely think most men would cheat if they were guaranteed to get away with it, and I think lots of women would, too. In fact, I think the numbers of people who do cheat or have cheated is quite a high percentage anyway? About 40% of women and 55% of men? I’m going to go and google now, so don’t quote me on it!

Agreed. And I do not agree that just as many women would do it.

100% sadly

sure

Probably.

And a lot of women would too. Being female doesn’t come with a halo.

Surely men and women cheat just as much as each other? Unless all the men are cheating with other men, which does happen I guess.

I doubt there are reliable stats. But men could be cheating with single women.

Who would they be cheating with 🤔

These kinds of statistics mean nothing, so you read s study so what, if you ask 20 people very specific questions and they give you similar answers you could say statistics say 100% of people would do x,y and z if they could get a way with it.

No.

I was never bothered about sexual exclusivity. I told dh from the get go if he wanted to have sex with someone else he could, just be responsible about it (stis, pgs, etc). I didn't need to know and wouldn't ask, but if he wanted to tell me that was fine too. He thought about it and told me the same was true for me.

We have only had sex with each other for over 30 years. It works for us, and neither feels the urge to find anyone else. We talked about it recently and agreed that that might change and it would be OK, but we are currently fine as we have been for the last decades.

I think for serial cheats the 'forbidden' element is a big part of what makes it attractive/exciting. And for one offs/serial monogamists, it's usually something to force them out a marriage that they were unhappy in anyway but didn't have the get together to leave without another party 'pulling' at them. All the men I know who left after an affair had told me prior to the affair that their 'life' wasn't working for them (men don't seem to come out and say they are unhappy in their marriage, they always talk about everything else in their life not working for them - at least to me).

This goes for both men and women, btw.

The majority - yes.

But a lot of cheating husbands are doing so with cheating wives.

You've just repeated your previous post here - pretty much verbatim.

It's 1/3 ,of men who took part in a specific study with out knowing the sample size the questions asked etc It's a meaningless statiistic.

Oh and the sample size was 86 people and they were American university students it doesn't really prove anything.

No, not the same at all.

I have been in environments where people could have cheated with low possibility of being found out (working abroad). I would say maybe a third of the men did. But zero of the women.

How did you know the women didn't? Maybe women are just more discreet about cheating?