To tell a child-free friend not to bring a vegan meal to my BBQ?

[BBQDramaQueen]

Hosting a casual family BBQ next wknd, mostly neighbours, school mums, a few mates, nothing fancy. Got the usual sausages, burgers, chicken etc. One of my oldest friends (childfree, v into animal rights, been vegan since forever, v vocal about it) asked if she can bring her own food. I said yeah fine, no biggie.

DH now saying it’s actually rude of her and it’ll put ppl off eating their food if she’s sat there going on about lentil sausages and dead animals (his words not mine lol). He reckons if we’re hosting, she should just eat what’s provided or not come. I said she obviously can’t eat what’s provided and she wasn’t making a fuss, just asked. He thinks I should message and say no now.

Tbh she can be a bit preachy but I’d rather that than her not come. Also not sure why anyone else would care what she’s eating unless they’re being nosy? But now I’m wondering if I was too quick to say yes.

AIBU to let her bring her own food? Or is DH right that I should’ve said no and it’s a bit off to bring your own stuff to a BBQ if you don’t have allergies etc?

Your DH is a prick and a really crap host. Is he really expecting a vegan to come and eat meat?

Your friend isn't expecting you to cater for her vegan needs (she obviously knows what your DH is like) and has said she will bring her own vegan food but even that isn't good enough for your shitty husband. He wants to ban all vegan food from the bbq. I hope he gets food poisoning from undercooked chicken, the absolute knobhead.

You can’t invite someone to your house and cater for everyone but them. What she chooses to eat is entirely her choice and she sounds very easy going offering to bring her own food. Her being child free appears to be entirely irrelevant- unless you/your husband/you both are jealous of her perceived lack of responsibility. Both are you are behaving with a lack of social decorum and empathy- do you even like this woman?

Can't you just serve a nice bean salad as one of the accompanying dishes and make sure she gets a whole portion of that as well as other salads and bread? No need for all this fuss.

You and your husband are both unreasonable to invite her knowing shes vegan and not provide food for her. At the very very very least she should be allowed to bring her own. Clearly you don't like this woman or it wouldn't be a problem I think. & your husband is a twat.

Technically if you invited her and already know she’s vegan then you should supply vegan food too she has offered to bring her own, why would that be an issue for either of you? Your husband saying she should eat what you supply is a dick move. YABU to even think about entertaining him

Perhaps tell her she can come, but only if she agrees to eat meat. She should also borrow a child and bring that along, so as not to alienate meat-eating parents.

Are you cooking her food on a separate bbq to avoid cross contamination?

You're married to a man totally lacking in empathy. You invited a friend to your BBQ, presumably knowing she was vegan. You told her she could bring her own food. Then husband puts his size 11s down and ooh wifey changes her mind. Maybe. How will your friend bringing her own food disrupt your party? Why do you think she'll get on her vegan soapbox? Why are you not already catering for vegans and veggies? You invited her, were you not planning on providing food she could actually eat?

Utter dick !

Are you actually serious? You'd tell a vegan not to eat vegan food at a bbq, or tell them not to come?
Well I don't eat meat and I'd rather not be at your bbq if that's the attitude. For the record, I've never been to an event where the host hasn't provided for everyone.

1. You should provide vegan options because being a host means catering for those you have invited and making sure they enjoy it too
2. What has being child free have to do with bbqs and vegans. Are you often a twat?
3. Is your husband always dickhead?

So obviously a windup given it's 14 pages in of replies and Op hasn't been back.

This

Before I even made it to the end of the post I was thinking 'I'll bet there isn't a see next button at the bottom of this'. And quelle surprise there wasn't!

Your not wrong about the them either, although surely one would have done. Vegan or child free, both together are much too controversial.

100%

"Would you eat a human if it was served at a BBQ?"
"Yeah, if it came with barbecue sauce."

Maybe just tell her, for once in her vegan life, to not bang on about animal rights?

What is the relevance of her being child free?

It would be annoying if she came to the BBQ and spent the whole time on her soap box about how eating animals is evil whilst other people are trying to enjoy their burgers.

But if she's happy to come along, bring her own food and just socialise normally then I really don't see the issue. Your husband is being a dick.

Are you only providing meat? Nothing else, no salad etc going to be a bit dry isn’t it😆

Let her bring her own food or provide a vegan bowl.

Let her bring her own food but make it clear that there will be lots of meat options and her preaching isn't welcome.

What on earth does her being child free have to do with anything?? Both you and your DH sound pretty awful.

I mean shes a vegan and if you aren't providing vegan food she should be allowed to bring something for herself it isn't fair to put her in a position where she can't eat. However if shes preachy and tries putting others off their food I'd be telling her to go home and not inviting her again.

I find the concept of inviting a vegan to a BBQ strange, I wouldn't do it. Mainly because if I was a vegan and saw meat as dead animals, obviously I wouldn't want to go to a party based all in that type of food. I've got vegan friends and if I invite them to mine, I only serve vegan food, I wouldn't be serving meat (even if only for my DH, DD and I).

Also curious, as well as others to know what has being child free got to do with anything?

Your husband is a tosser. Ignore him.

Your DH is an idiot. Your friend has dietary preferences, either cater for her, or let her bring her own food. He is the rude one

Clearly BBQ= just eating raw steak like Barney Rubble 😂