Nursery hand over comment. Would you complain?

[Evelyynn]

Btw I’m not the parent. Or the nursery practitioner.

If your child was handed over to you, and the practitioner said ‘’we’ve had to have a chat with childs name today, as she hasn’t been using kind words to staff and has had a bit of an attitude’’. Would this be something you’d complain the manager about, the use of the word ‘attitude’? The child is 3.

Sounds like your friend needs to do some parenting. What a wally!

How should they have phrased it?

Your friend sounds like a nightmare. She’s just deflecting because she doesn’t want to deal with the truth.

It was a comment made at the door when the worker had had a full day of dealing with children. You can’t expect it to be perfectly polished. Besides I don’t see an issue with this at all.

My mum was a primary teacher and used to complain that they weren’t allowed to be straight with parents and in reports etc had to use euphemisms or cushion things. So quite often parents weren’t understanding their child had issues in the classroom.

by the sounds of it any wording critical of the child would of offended your friend

I think you need to be a true friend and give her some home truths

What she should be focusing on is her child’s behaviour. What were they doing? Why? Is the child upset about something?

For example many years ago the school told me my son was very tearful. I knew why it was because he wasn’t sleeping properly after a house move but I’m pleased they told me in case I didn’t know there was a problem.
If he was being a brat/ had an attitude at nursery or school I would want to be told.

It's not ideal but in the context of an otherwise loving and professional nursery I wouldn't be anywhere near bothered enough to complain. I love my child with all my heart but I've lost count of the amount of times (in private) that I reported to DH that she'd been an absolute dick today or similar when she was this age 🤣

That's where she gets the attitude from then 😅

So she's not bothered about the behaviour of her child, just annoyed at the word attitude? I can see this mum making a complete prat of herself.

Where are you in her story, OP?

Why would she complain? They've, appropriately, alerted her to an attitude problem. Thats part of their job. It's now her job as a parent to address her daughters behaviour.

She sounds like a nightmare. The poor nursery staff.

Can you come back and tell us what you think, OP?

My DD is 2 (and 3 months) and definitely has an attitude with me some days! I'd be mortified and VERY apologetic if she had an attitude at nursery

I wouldn’t have said ‘a bit of an attitude’, i
think it could have been explained better.

But complaining?! How ridiculous! Some 3 year olds are rude. They have either had it modelled to them or never been corrected at home.

Whenever I have something like this with a parent, and it’s often, I tell myself that they’ll be the ones struggling in the end as they’ll have to deal with the spoilt behaviour for years.

Your friend is a loon and a time waster.

At least after the meeting the nursery staff will understand where the toddler gets their “attitude” from

What a ridiculous thing to complain about! These are minimum wage staff handing over many children in a short period of time. The problem with being "that" parent is that when ever you might need the nursery to go above and beyond the core contract they probably won't.

Yeah but look what happens when you use adult appropriate language.
Majority of parents of young children can’t handle hearing their child has been rude/aggressive/defiant. So you have to dress it up ‘child friendly’ before you go in with the those words. Use phrases like kind words, kind hands, listening ears at multiple handovers and then they’re already prepared when you have to being in the ‘adult’ language.

Trust me. It’d be so much easier if you could just say what you mean!

Your friend is beyond ridiculous! So she's going to waste staff time cause she didn't like the word attitude? Time that staff could otherwise spend planning a nice activity for the kids? Please tell her she's being THAT parent and to reign it in.

Your mate is one of those mums. There is nothing wrong with the word 'attitude.' She is pissed off that her daughter was criticised and is being petty.

Can see where the 3yo gets it from.

The kids sounds like a brat or acting up that day. The mum can’t complain but should deal with it and be a better parent.

Yup

^This.

I very much suspect your friend will become known as "that parent" from here on in.

She should only be arranging a meeting to work with the staff to sort out the child's poor behaviour and how they can all work together to nip the shitty behaviour in the bud.