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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Muslim women who dress modestly...

596 replies

TreatTreat · 12/07/2025 18:49

If you're at the beach and you want to paddle in the sea, are you able to roll up your trousers? Genuinely wondering as I saw a muslim family on the beach today having great fun. The kids were paddling in the sea. The women weren't but this question sprung in my head.

OP posts:
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Morgenrot25 · 12/07/2025 22:20

GabriellaMontez · 12/07/2025 22:18

Very judgy, arent you...

Again, no.
Having an opinion, based on facts, isn't judgey.

modestsometimes · 12/07/2025 22:21

soupyspoon · 12/07/2025 22:16

Yes I have worked with many older women from the Iranian diaspora and heard lots about their lives pre revolution. Heartbreaking what they lost.

And I was very curious about it of course or nosy whichever way some people want to put it

You misunderstood. The videos I talk of are of Iran today.

girlinabox · 12/07/2025 22:21

I wouldn't. I usually wear a long dress with leggings under so it would probably just lift my dress up a bit and not mind wet leggings. I love swimming in the sea and have a burkini for that purpose. Husband can't swim.

MathNotMathing · 12/07/2025 22:21

This reply has been deleted

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Pisspotical · 12/07/2025 22:21

One would imagine that many muslim women are suppressed to a degree. Some will have adhere to strict protocols, that are set out by the males members of their families.

Usually, minding one’s business would usually apply in this situation, however, one can only imagine how many women are forced to wear unsuitable attire, against their free will.

If your husband dictated that you were dressed from head to toe in clothing, in sweltering temperatures, with sometimes nothing more than a slit to spy out of, would you be happy? I know that I wouldn’t be!

EternalLodga · 12/07/2025 22:21

Choices aren't made in a vacuum.

A 20 year old girl getting filler isnt injecting her face "because she wants to"

GabriellaMontez · 12/07/2025 22:21

MumWifeOther · 12/07/2025 22:07

You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about. First of all, the Shah was a puppet propped up by foreign powers. Ever heard of SAVAK? It was a brutal intelligence agency trained by the CIA and Mossad, used to silence dissent and push a Western agenda, including discouraging the hijab and Islamic clothing. I’m not here to give you a full history lesson, but here’s one fact: Iranian women are highly educated and make up around 60% of university students today. While many still dress modestly in public, more and more are choosing not to wear the hijab, reclaiming that choice for themselves.

And let’s be clear: Iran is not some backward country. It has a rich cultural, scientific, and intellectual legacy. Despite decades of sanctions and political isolation, its people, especially women, continue to push forward with strength, resilience, and vision.

Educate yourself, like the women in Iran.

Whenever I see the instruction "educate yourself" - I know the post will be incoherent.

soupyspoon · 12/07/2025 22:21

Morgenrot25 · 12/07/2025 22:19

Speaking about Iranian history, particularly that of women and girls, in an educated and open way is actually very important. That would have been much less goady than the actual question in this thread.

The thread isnt about Iranian history specifically, its moved about, gone off tangent, as conversations do among people who are interested in things, aka the curious

Hfox · 12/07/2025 22:22

PollyCreo · 12/07/2025 19:11

I live in a hot country with a big Muslim population (Kurdish Syrians). The men dive into the sea with their children and have a great time, the wives stand on the beach covered from head to toe in black and look on anxiously.

Loll why are they ‘looking on anxiously’? Dramatic much?

Crazyworldmum · 12/07/2025 22:22

MumWifeOther · 12/07/2025 22:18

Because they want to

Not all of them want too .

Morgenrot25 · 12/07/2025 22:23

soupyspoon · 12/07/2025 22:21

The thread isnt about Iranian history specifically, its moved about, gone off tangent, as conversations do among people who are interested in things, aka the curious

I know it isn't.

downwiththatsortof · 12/07/2025 22:23

Embarrassing - the amount of virtue signalling from some quarters on this thread - that women have choices to wear oppressive garments - in a lot of cases this is the biggest load of bollocks and I'm sure this doesn't help - complicit in the oppression of women - awful..

Kendodd · 12/07/2025 22:23

PreciousMomentsHun · 12/07/2025 21:57

Quite apart from the hygiene and the huge walloping great drowning risk, how are these women getting their vitamin D?

And yy to the double standards. I hate to see it when the husband is blithely poncing around in shorts and a t shirt or jeans, and the woman is following covered head to foot, niqab and all. At that point, it seems like fetish gear. "Look at me, being dominated by this man."

I think vitamin D deficiency is actually a problem. Darker skinned people don't absorb vitamin D from the sun as easily as light skinned people. Then put them in northern latitudes, with less sunlight and skin covered up. I believe has led to an increase in rickets. In hotter regions the sun was strong enough to deliver a good dose of vitamin D just through the hands. Darker skin does reduce the risk of skin cancer though, as does covering head to toe.

Chinsupmeloves · 12/07/2025 22:23

Some of my Muslim friends are completely integrated into UK culture, independent working women and wear the same attire we do. Others don't have much freedom, completely covered and wouldn't be deemed as appropriate to go into the sea.

So, I guess it all depends on the individual situation but yes I would assume they would be unlikely to lift their clothes up to paddle.

MumWifeOther · 12/07/2025 22:24

GabriellaMontez · 12/07/2025 22:21

Whenever I see the instruction "educate yourself" - I know the post will be incoherent.

🤥

DrowningInSyrup · 12/07/2025 22:25

Morgenrot25 · 12/07/2025 22:14

It is a ridiculous* *comparison.

I'd ask you to explain why, rather than just say something is ridiculous, but it seems like everyone has had enough of you on this thread, so I don't want to piss anyone off further.

Policeofficerpanda · 12/07/2025 22:26

@TheHazelCritic I assume nothing. I was specifically told by my friend that his mother and sister felt pressurised to cover up / unsafe to go out uncovered. Who do you think you are to assume their thoughts/feelings and tell me they made the choice themselves?

Always have to laugh when someone says it’s a choice. How amazing, all these people in Muslim countries/muslim religion and by pure coincidence the ones who make a completely free choice, completely unhindered by any outside influence to cover up are all women. How amazing. Wonder what the statistical likelihood of that is….

Bink666 · 12/07/2025 22:27

NeverDropYourMooncup · 12/07/2025 20:48

Can we stop calling clothing that doesn't expose as much skin as you would prefer us to see of you 'extreme religious clothing' as if those who prefer to cover themselves are somehow all religious fanatics?

Edited

In the West, it IS extreme religious clothing

modestsometimes · 12/07/2025 22:27

GabriellaMontez · 12/07/2025 22:21

Whenever I see the instruction "educate yourself" - I know the post will be incoherent.

Oh dear. It is one of the most coherent posts on here.

You will find modesty also a feature of Christianity, Judaism, not just Islam.

Many of the posts here are incredibly ignorant.

As I said upthread, have a look on youtube at 2025 videos of Iranian streets and markets, normal people videoing, walking around random streets, you will see many women with hair flowing free, wearing similar clothes you would see in the UK. Much of what you think you know is baloney.

soupyspoon · 12/07/2025 22:27

I nearly got in the sea fully clothed this week. We were at the most beautiful beach and I just wanted to dive in, but I knew Id be sitting around with soaking wet clothing, which were cordory trousers (wrong choice for the day, it was boiling) and a white shirt which would have gone see through!

I dont uncover myself and would have worn a wetsuit normally but didnt have it.

What a missed opportunity but we had a 4 mile walk back and I was worried about the chafing!!!

Chinsupmeloves · 12/07/2025 22:27

LegoHouse274 · 12/07/2025 21:37

Perhaps a desire to copy their mum? Bit like girls in my niece's class in year 3 who were wearing lip gloss or nail polish or any other thing the didn't need to wear that the boys weren't wearing?

It's not usually a choice, like lip gloss.

Livelovebehappy · 12/07/2025 22:28

Morgenrot25 · 12/07/2025 20:18

Eh?
It's really none of anyone else's business how or why another person swims/paddles or not. Muslims are individuals, just like non-muslims.
Minding your own business isn't remotely close to being a problem.

But if you have that thought, then what do you think about the many posts where people ask who they’re voting for and why? Lots of posts on mn along the same line. If you don’t like a post then just scroll on by…

Morgenrot25 · 12/07/2025 22:28

DrowningInSyrup · 12/07/2025 22:25

I'd ask you to explain why, rather than just say something is ridiculous, but it seems like everyone has had enough of you on this thread, so I don't want to piss anyone off further.

Ok, are they normal clothes to you then?

PollyCreo · 12/07/2025 22:28

Hfox · 12/07/2025 22:22

Loll why are they ‘looking on anxiously’? Dramatic much?

They look on anxiously because they can't get in the sea with their children. The husbands dive in and swim out to the breakwaters and have a great time.

Not dramatic 'loll"

soupyspoon · 12/07/2025 22:29

modestsometimes · 12/07/2025 22:21

You misunderstood. The videos I talk of are of Iran today.

Which videos are these?