Wwyd

[loveforautumn]

My mum and dad have a holiday home in Spain, lovely places and we've had some fab holidays over the years anyway, the upkeep of the places obviously costs and we're expected to contribute when using it which is fair enough, I wouldn't not and want to help them out. My sister however keeps going over there for free,no contribution or anything, hasn't even mentioned it. My parents just let het go and dont say anything.
What's annoying me is we're still expected to pay and if we didn't something would be said.
Am I right to feel annoyed that they go for free and im still expected to pay? We havent gone since finding out they aren't paying as i dont think its fair.

It's a sickener to realise she has been getting handouts from your parents for holidays..free accommodation and free flights sometimes, when you have been contributing as agreed.

Your parents love you both and have decided to cover your sister's costs as otherwise she wouldn't get to go whether it's due to poor lifestyle choices or not.

They have decided you can afford it, I would let them know it feels unfair, maybe an offer from them to go free would alleviate your hurt even though you want to and will pay your way.

This financial inequality happens in my DH's family and it has irked me when we are in their presence. People sitting back and expecting things for free is not an appealing trait. We are seen, by them, as well off even though we aren't particularly and just aren't wasteful with money. We now agree on our own clear monetary boundaries before we meet up and the injustice feels less, as it is an expected expenditure and accounted for in our minds.

Your sister will never pay, your parents will always cover her, try to reframe this as you being a reliable, responsible and dependable child of your parents and resolve your hurt in time by knowing you aren't taking advantage of them in any way. Use the holiday properties or don't but try to not let this fester and hurt you.

I lived in a country that was (maybe?) similar to yours - I was in the north of Sweden for a couple of years, and I would say that all countries have their problems and "faults"...

Making criticisms of a place when you don't know or understand how their systems work, really is quite offensive. However, I agree with you that we don't really know what is going on with this family - the situation as described actually does seem quite unlikely.

That’s because you don’t live in those communities and you don’t come into contact with them.

There are thousands of disabled people who work as well.

Oh right, soz! 🤣

She was joking, so it’s all good. However, if you did choose to have 8 kids and now can’t afford to go on holiday. It’d hardly be a surprise, would it?

That is very strange, isn't it?

I have lived and worked in "those communities" so yes, there are a small number of people who will not work. They are far outnumbered by those who would like to work, but for whom the system does not work. For example, if you have turned out from many years of education barely able to read, write and do basic maths, then you will strugle to find employment. If you are a single parent, nursery hours don't touch the edges of working full time, and not everyone has a convenient relative since many of those have to work to survive too. If you have poor health (not even talking about a disability) nobody wants to employ you. A lot of employment now is zero hours, unreliable income and with a benefits system not designed to support people in these circumstances; or is "revolving door" where people are employed for short periods then let go to prevent them gaining any employment rights.

And to be fair, it is also equally true that for some, living off benefits brings in more than working would. But the issue is not that benefits are too generous, it is that employers don't pay enough.

It’s not necessary to come into contact with an issue to be aware it exists. I don’t have my head in the sand on this. I still maintain many people exaggerate the frequency with which it occurs.

So you don’t have your head in the sand about an issue you’ve never come into contact with but you think it’s an exaggeration?

😂😂😂😂

You’ve worked in those communities doing what? Might it be a profession where they might feel they have to at least pretend to want to work?

It’s funny there are so many posters that are adamant that huge numbers of people aren’t playing the system.

It certainly makes it easier for those who are playing the system.

The amount of benefits claimed fraudulently is tiny compared with the amount of tax dodged.

Listen, my relatives and dozens of people I’ve known all my life are happy having their lives paid for and never having to set an alarm.
You’re happy paying for it and pretending it’s not happening.

Win win

Ok, so that’s bloody annoying, but I expect your parents are doing this for those 6 grandchildren, who otherwise wouldn’t get a lovely holiday. You sister and bf sound like complete lazy losers, don’t be envious of them in anyway. If I were you I would talk to my parents and explain how it makes you feel and continue to go to the villa and pay as you have been. Silly to deprive yourself of that opportunity because your sister takes the piss. Think about their children and be glad that they at least get this nice treat, when their parents are so useless.

You’re getting heavily subsidised holidays through your parents. Your attitude is childish (it’s not FAIR) and whiney.

You can be as amused as you like, but don't expect me to give any weight to your mirth considering you're ignoring actual statistics in order to further your benefit-bashing agenda.

No it wouldn't, but since you have decided that the unemployed and disabled are lazy scroungers, it would be pointless pointing out truths to you. You have clearly done neither.

You’re naive. “You have clearly done neither”. What are you talking about?

Wow. I was going to say - Sister has to pay 8 x return flights and transfers to get to the holiday home. She’s on UC. No idea how she manages this let alone paying the parents £ for the use of the holiday home… but the flights have been paid for by your parents in the past?? So it goes beyond the sister not having to contribute to the holiday home… and your parents are taking £ from you and spending £ on her flights! I’d just step away from this entangled mess completely.

And yet it’s often said or implied on here that work-shy scroungers who think it’s their human right to live off the taxpayer are largely a figment of the right wing imagination.

They’re certainly not as prevalent as the right wing would try to persuade us.

Don't be silly. No one has tried to say people like that don't exist at all, merely that a lot of people tend to exaggerate their numbers.

Now that is truly hurtful. I’d say this is really a parental problem. Your sister is a leech and your parents encourage her. I’d go and see the rest of the world and let them get on with it.

I think her parents are likely just thinking of the children who probably wouldn't get a holiday otherwise.

It isn't their fault that they have parents who don't work.