Encounter in the woods with a man...was I being silly?

[Woodwalk]

I walk in a local woods daily. Today I parked in the small car park where there were around 4 cars already. Changed into my boots, tied up my hair, no one else arrived in this time. Then I set off down a trail which begins running alongside the main road to the right, to the left is an inaccessible woodland - too dense to walk through. You can only enter the trail from the car park (at that end).

I had only been walking for around a minute or two when I got the sensation I was being watched/followed. This is strange as I would only have expected to meet someone head on on the path - given that there's one entrance and I saw no one else arrive at the car park within a minute of myself.

Anyway I turned round a few times and finally spotted a man behind me, slightly off the trail nearer to the side where the road is (trees are between the main road and me). I immediately did feel uncomfortable as I wasn't sure where he had come from, and debated stopping so that he could move ahead of me. I decided against this as didn't want to make a big thing of it.

Instead I kept going and took a turn off into a large shaded area, a clearing where I could see the original trail and find a little tree trunk to sit on (and look normal!) as he passed.

Instead of passing the man followed me into the clearing. I had walked quite far into the clearing to find a tree that gave a lot of space around me. He made a beeline for me straight towards me. I felt scared, and then he met my eyes and asked how my day was going. I immediately went into flight mode jumped up blurted out something about not wanting to be followed on my walk and started to run back to the car park (around 6 mins running). He shouted after me to come back, he didn't mean to scare me, he hadn't been following me, he was lost, he was sorry, come back please.

I just ran all the way back to the car and left.

I'm a woman in early 30s the gent was late fifties I think, and very overweight, if he tried to follow me back I couldn't tell, but don't think he could have matched my pace. He didn't have a dog, but then, neither do I.

Now I'm wondering, was he innocently lost and wanted a chat? Was I being silly to run away? It doesn't really matter now as I'm obviously safe and fine but the woods is my favourite place to go and I feel really put off returning now. Need a reality check as feel a bit silly now but in the moment I was scared.

Glad you’ve reported it, if he was genuinely lost surely instead of following you and getting up close, at the point where the clearing is accessed he would have simply stood there and said ‘excuse me, do you know the way back to the car park?’ Etc
We should be able to walk anywhere, but sadly it does put me off walking in more isolated spots.
If he had been genuinely lost hopefully the interaction between you will have shown him that he needs to be more switched on.

I agree.

I don't think you're being silly - sure it could have been entirely innocent but it was weird and suspicious and you're now safe, so who cares if others think it was an overreaction.

If your gut tells you it was off, it was off. It might be worth reporting it to the police just in case others have had the same experience and he is known to them, or at least they are aware of a man in the area doing this that meets his description. It might help them build a picture, god forbid anything awful does happen to someone.

It's possible he has autism or LDs and is just trying to strike up conversation and make friends or chat up girls in a very clumsy way. I had that happen to me once and although I think the young man in question was probably harmless, it still scared the bejeezus out of me. He cornered me and tried to cuddle me and stop me leaving. It was terrifying.

But even if the above applies and the man doesn't mean any harm, he should understand that it's still not appropriate to follow and approach lone women in isolated locations. And if he can't understand then he shouldn't be out without a carer.

Most people are safe and lovely. But I believe our gut instinct exists for a reason. If you don't feel safe it's fine to protect yourself.

And get a mace spray/rape alarm or some other small, easily portable means of self defence, for peace of mind. I used to walk my two big dogs in woods when I had them and never felt vulnerable because of them, but no way would I walk alone now they've both died.

You didn’t feel safe. You did the right thing.

We really cannot train men out of being dangerous. There are a wide range of reasons that would turn someone into a predator and it’s not just because their Mum forgot to tell them not to be. We can run programmes and improve mental health services but ultimately men will always be dangerous to women and to other men and to children. It has always been this way and it always will be.

I have a son who I teach to respect women and a wonderful DH who is very aware of how his behaviour might intimidate women, I am not anti man but some men are very dangerous and you can’t always tell just by looking at them, many hide it very well.

Teaching girls to be safe is far more effective and it is totally counterproductive when the argument is ‘well men shouldn’t rape people’ because some always will, it’s been that way for centuries and is unlikely to change.

*quote fail!

I’m glad you’ve reported it, and I’m sorry you’ve been made to feel uncomfortable and unsafe somewhere that you I’ve going.

He was either dodgy, or a fucking clueless idiot. But I suspect the former, as if someone was genuinely lost they would ask directions etc before following you for a while and trying to engage you in conversation. Also calling you to come back is weird. If he was genuine he should just have been mortified.

My partner is a really nice man and would never pose a risk to anyone. But before I pointed it out to him, he was a bit clueless about how potentially worrying it is for a woman to encounter a man in the forest/park etc. I think a lot of men just don’t think about it, because they’re not forced to live with the potential threat always on the horizon. But this man’s behaviour was far from just clueless, in my opinion.

I have no advice on whether you should go back or not. It makes me fucking angry that women need to worry about these things. I would never walk alone in the woods, but it’s appalling that we should have to live in fear of some (but too many) men.

Well done for reporting it. Might also be worth mention any local Facebook pages or to any running groups too.

If he was lost why didn't he shout out to you when he first saw you? That would be the natural thing to do

Trust your instincts OP. It sounds really odd to me. You did well to run.

You absolutely did the right thing and glad you've logged it. Never feel it's 'silly' to protect yourself.

The Lin and Megan Russell murders happened a few miles from where I live. I never walk alone in a secluded area. Way too nervous.

I would report to 111 just so there’s a record in case the police have other sightings

edit just seen that you have reported

This.

If you have a dash-cam, it's possible you have recorded the other cars that were in the car park and this man's car might be one of them. It's worth passing that info on to the police if you have it.

Carry farb gel

Men have got to learn that when a woman indicates she does not feel safe to leave her the hell alone.

100% right response to your gut telling you he was off. Even logically he was off.

Well don for reporting it.

I feel like you can never be too careful. Id rather offend a man than put myself at risk.

Maybe he was just looking for a chat.

You'll never know that and you don't need to know that. Something told you to leave, so leaving was the right thing. Worrying about possibly over reacting is 100x better than being attacked.

If you have a good memory of what he looked like I would report it, as others have said it could be a pattern. It won't take the police long to take a quick statement

If he was lost the first thing he'd have said would be Hello, I'm lost can you point me back to the road/ car park. As he was older and overweight not much chance of him catching you.

I'd have reported it online too.

One entrance.
One path.
He arrived after you.
He was lost.

No he wasn't. He cornered you the only way he knew how.

Not only is it illogical, lost men don't ask how your day is.

The alarm works to disorientate the attacker - not just to make others aware.

I love walked too OP, and prefer going alone. I always give other women plenty of space and I’m a woman myself. It’s just common sense.