Encounter in the woods with a man...was I being silly?

[Woodwalk]

I walk in a local woods daily. Today I parked in the small car park where there were around 4 cars already. Changed into my boots, tied up my hair, no one else arrived in this time. Then I set off down a trail which begins running alongside the main road to the right, to the left is an inaccessible woodland - too dense to walk through. You can only enter the trail from the car park (at that end).

I had only been walking for around a minute or two when I got the sensation I was being watched/followed. This is strange as I would only have expected to meet someone head on on the path - given that there's one entrance and I saw no one else arrive at the car park within a minute of myself.

Anyway I turned round a few times and finally spotted a man behind me, slightly off the trail nearer to the side where the road is (trees are between the main road and me). I immediately did feel uncomfortable as I wasn't sure where he had come from, and debated stopping so that he could move ahead of me. I decided against this as didn't want to make a big thing of it.

Instead I kept going and took a turn off into a large shaded area, a clearing where I could see the original trail and find a little tree trunk to sit on (and look normal!) as he passed.

Instead of passing the man followed me into the clearing. I had walked quite far into the clearing to find a tree that gave a lot of space around me. He made a beeline for me straight towards me. I felt scared, and then he met my eyes and asked how my day was going. I immediately went into flight mode jumped up blurted out something about not wanting to be followed on my walk and started to run back to the car park (around 6 mins running). He shouted after me to come back, he didn't mean to scare me, he hadn't been following me, he was lost, he was sorry, come back please.

I just ran all the way back to the car and left.

I'm a woman in early 30s the gent was late fifties I think, and very overweight, if he tried to follow me back I couldn't tell, but don't think he could have matched my pace. He didn't have a dog, but then, neither do I.

Now I'm wondering, was he innocently lost and wanted a chat? Was I being silly to run away? It doesn't really matter now as I'm obviously safe and fine but the woods is my favourite place to go and I feel really put off returning now. Need a reality check as feel a bit silly now but in the moment I was scared.

I don't disagree.

BUT maybe we should train men not to be disturbing creeps as well. Why should WE be constantly accommodating men's (at the very best) total lack of awareness.

Interesting though. My very sensitive, considerate and compassionate brother was talking about a trip to Japan and how safe he felt there. I commented that their record on women's safety, especially on public transport, wasn't great. He was horrified and agreed immediately, but there is male privilege for you.

The only unreasonable bit about all of this is you thinking you were rude. Who cares if you were, he should not have been behaving like this. I think your instincts have served you well.

Please report this to the Police as his behaviour is very sketchy and doesn't add up to being 'lost' imo.

In thousands of miles of running and walking, there's only been once that I've had the "get out of here now" instinct, and I was grateful I was on my bike that day. He didn't do anything, just had an intense stare. When I checked over my shoulder a partway up the hill, he was still standing there staring intensely.
I've had inane comments.
I've had a teenager jump out from behind a tree- I saw the group of them, I saw him go there, I expected it, and the joke was on him when I jump scared him back. The vibe was a mixed group of teenagers chilling out, having a laugh and the laughter ended up back on him.

We have thousands of passing interactions and it is rare for this instinct to flag up.
You were right to listen to your instincts.

There is no logical, innocent explanation for his behaviour.
If you are wrong you've done nothing worse than mildly offend an idiot.

Please inform the police, it may give them useful information.

This

I don’t think it matters what his intentions were. If you feel uncomfortable then getting away is the right choice. I think most men know not to approach lone woman in a secluded area.

Yeah, real difficult

WTAF?!

Always better safe than sorry.
i too have spoken to my son about his responsibility to make women feel safe, crossing the road at night etc, I know he would also call out wrong behaviour in his friendship group but I admit I have told to be wary in confronting strangers as he has to think of his own safety as well, but i wonder if this is actually taught in schools, girls get the usual “don’t leave drinks unattended”, “stay in well lit areas” etc but are boys taught how their actions can make women feel unsafe, should this be a part of the curriculum?

Don’t be polite to men who creep you out.
Don’t be polite to men who creep you out.
Don’t be polite to them.
It’s not your job to comfort men.
Don’t be polite to men who creep you out.

You have simply followed this advice, exactly as you should.

Well done.

Agree that it would be extremely helpful if you would log it with the police. At worst it's useless information that sits on file; at best it helps to prevent a devastating attack.

This is so true.

Another just chipping in to say you definitely did not overreact. Lost my ass. If he’d retraced the path he would have been un-lost.

I do a lot of dog walking in woods. I have had lone women ask to walk by me as they have been set on edge by some male being a bit over familiar.

Always choose your own safety over some random man’s hurt feelings.

He knew what he was doing. A woman can't even enjoy the woods in peace.

Why are you questioning yourself? You can avoid or ignore any random man (or woman) at all for any reason at all, or for no reason at all. Obviously, he was behaving weirdly rushing over to you and screaming at you to come back, but even if he was just standing under a tree minding his own business you are perfectly within your rights to leave.

Who cares if he was lost or wanted a chat? You're not a support animal for men, or women for that matter. Do whatever you are comfortable and feel safe doing with random men - or women for that matter - at all times.

"Be Kind" gets people killed.

You were CERTAINLY NOT being unreasonable. I think it's irrelevant whether he was a clueless lost guy or someone with malicious intent - it is a sad fact that we can't know the difference. I will always protect myself and attend to my instincts before upholding outmoded societal expectations to be kind and helpful. Sod that!

Creepy fuck

Op I walk and run in the woods regularly - you 100% did the right thing . Please report it - the next person may not have the same flight instinct as you and there may already be reports . In addition consider putting it on your local FB group to make others aware . I am aware of some assaults ( and strange behaviour ) quite local to me because women have done so .

Always follow your gut instincts. Totally the right thing to do.

My heart was racing just reading that. You were a million per cent not being unreasonable, and I agree you should report it as suspicious behaviour.

Well there were three possible outcomes.

1. You ran and got away and felt silly, even though you had good reason to.
2. You didnt run, he was a nice lost gent.
3. You didnt run and he was a predator and harmed you.

Number 1 was the best option as number 2 and three were a huge risk.

Another vote for reporting to the police. It’s very strange behaviour from that man. Your instinct told you something was off and you listened and acted on it. Well done!

I had a similar experience being followed by a man in his fifties when I was around twelve years old. I ran. At the time my parents didn’t really believe that something truly off had happened, so I started doubting myself. Sadly a girl was attacked by that man in the same spot just a few weeks later. I’ve always remembered that primal feeling of knowing danger even if when I explained it later to my parents it sounded ridiculous. But I will also never forget that that instinct was bang on.

Your subconscious mind can very quickly recognise a dangerous situation by reading lots of different inputs (recognising things that are “out of the ordinary” or “off”) while your conscious mind will be slow to follow/ understand/try to reason. Always trust your instinct!

Carrying an alarm would be a good idea. It's not necessarily that someone will hear and come running but that a dodgy person will get a fright and run away. It might just make you feel more comfortable too. I've lived very rurally and generally happy to walk anywhere, alone or with dogs, but this encounter sounds unnerving. You will probably never be in a similar situation but it might have been an idea to take photos of the other cars in the car park, once you were safely locked in your own. I echo report to the police.

YANBU, his behaviour was very odd. Perhaps he was just an innocent oddball but you were right not to chance it.

I think you need a personal alarm and maybe a pepper spray, if you want to keep walking in remote areas.

Same. He sat right next to me so I couldn't get out and wouldn't hear of moving or me moving to an empty seat. It was only after the one other person (man) on the carriage got involved and insisted repeatedly that there was no need to sit next to me that he did eventually move (one seat forward 🙄).

But I hate that had I not been "lucky" that the other man wasn't a creep, that I would have felt very unsafe.

You trusted your gut, well done!

Odd behaviour, and you are right to follow your intuition. I also think you should report to the police.