Encounter in the woods with a man...was I being silly?

[Woodwalk]

I walk in a local woods daily. Today I parked in the small car park where there were around 4 cars already. Changed into my boots, tied up my hair, no one else arrived in this time. Then I set off down a trail which begins running alongside the main road to the right, to the left is an inaccessible woodland - too dense to walk through. You can only enter the trail from the car park (at that end).

I had only been walking for around a minute or two when I got the sensation I was being watched/followed. This is strange as I would only have expected to meet someone head on on the path - given that there's one entrance and I saw no one else arrive at the car park within a minute of myself.

Anyway I turned round a few times and finally spotted a man behind me, slightly off the trail nearer to the side where the road is (trees are between the main road and me). I immediately did feel uncomfortable as I wasn't sure where he had come from, and debated stopping so that he could move ahead of me. I decided against this as didn't want to make a big thing of it.

Instead I kept going and took a turn off into a large shaded area, a clearing where I could see the original trail and find a little tree trunk to sit on (and look normal!) as he passed.

Instead of passing the man followed me into the clearing. I had walked quite far into the clearing to find a tree that gave a lot of space around me. He made a beeline for me straight towards me. I felt scared, and then he met my eyes and asked how my day was going. I immediately went into flight mode jumped up blurted out something about not wanting to be followed on my walk and started to run back to the car park (around 6 mins running). He shouted after me to come back, he didn't mean to scare me, he hadn't been following me, he was lost, he was sorry, come back please.

I just ran all the way back to the car and left.

I'm a woman in early 30s the gent was late fifties I think, and very overweight, if he tried to follow me back I couldn't tell, but don't think he could have matched my pace. He didn't have a dog, but then, neither do I.

Now I'm wondering, was he innocently lost and wanted a chat? Was I being silly to run away? It doesn't really matter now as I'm obviously safe and fine but the woods is my favourite place to go and I feel really put off returning now. Need a reality check as feel a bit silly now but in the moment I was scared.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers. My hairs were standing up just a few lines into that story. Your intuition served you very well. And if he was innocent, who cares? Your safety is more important than leaving someone feeling slightly baffled.

You honestly don’t think it’s creepy to shout ‘come back’ to a woman, who you don’t know, who has run away from you clearly distressed?

Always trust your gut. I’m sorry this happened to you, it sounds very frightening.

JFC!!! 😯

I am wondering who the 4% are who think you were being unreasonable, that, presumably, you should have taken the 'innocent until proven guilty' approach and hung around, politely conversing with this stranger acting oddly, until he either attacked you or went peacefully on his way.

Report it while you can still remember what he looks like. He could’ve had any weapons on him - knives, rohypnol, cable ties etc. Well done keeping your wits about you and making a break for it!!
I think we need to train all women and girls to be prepared to make noise and run - too often we’re conditioned to be nice and not make a fuss, take pity, think the best of people etc and too often we wind up getting killed. Excellent intuition there.

There are always people on these threads cajoling women to ignore their instincts and pander to the penis. Always.

Either they are very naive internalized misogynists who want other women to behave in exactly the same mould, or, well. Something else.

That sounds horrible and really scary.

If he really was lost he'd politely call out 'excuse me' or something as soon as he saw you and say where is xyz place.

Not walking right up to you, having follow you and make eye contact while asking how your day was going?
Then practically chasing you yelling he's not a fucking stalking rapist?!

Yeah. Nice moves there bro.

I'd report it to the police 111 or crime stoppers as he does not sound normal or benevolent whatsoever.

Love that 🫶🏻 I’m the same with my son. At my DD’s uni, all the popular lads are the considerate ones who maybe have sisters and/or fiercely feminist mothers! 😉

Even if he didn’t have bad intentions, he should know better than to fucking approach a lone woman in the woods or follow her!

It reminds me when I was young and separated from a friend in a large museum and it became closing time. The museum was dark and old and I was alone and a man told me to follow him for the way out. When I said it was ok, I’d find my way, he laughed and protested. I did feel embarrassed for years but in hindsight I think better safe than sorry is a good motto.

Another vote for Police non-emergency number.

Absolutely. Report him. There’s absolutely no way he was innocently lost. Everything about his conduct was worrying. And if he wasn’t aware how he could be perceived, then he’s unbelievably lacking awareness.

Always trust your gut instinct, and please please report him

How was wanted man Roy Barclay free to kill Anita Rose? - BBC News

Even if he was innocent (which I don't believe for a second) and he thought you were rude - so what? You don't know him and you don't owe him one second of access to you. You don't owe anyone politeness or a smile or conversation.

I saw a comment on Tiktok saying "clearly they're not lonely enough yet" (referring to the so-called male loneliness epidemic) and I'm inclined to agree.

Probably men who just don’t understand how utterly terrifying this is. Men will kill 2 women in the UK this week and none of them probably ‘looked’ like the sort to murder.

Very strange behaviour from this guy.

Agree
The worst thing that could have happened to you if you'd reacted differently could be your murder.

The worst thing that might have happened from the way you did react was him feeling a bit awkward/embarrassed - and tbh I don't even think that is a particularly bad outcome in this situation, even if he meant absolutely no harm at all your reaction might have given him the kick to review how he comes across - i.e. don't follow women into secluded areas and shout at them to come back when they try to get away from you!

Tbh his story sounds dodge - sounds like you were close enough to the car park it would have been very hard to get lost and even if you were, surely he would just follow you (at a distance) rather than shouting come back!

I haven't been nervous before today - I've walked the woods and similar places for years. So I understand you saying avoid them if you feel nervous - I will for a while now but I'm really sad about that - but I'm not a nervous person generally.

Thanks to the poster who advised you can log things online. I've logged it as a suspicious incident.

You need to report this.

There is often a pattern to these men.
They start 'innocently' then it turns into something else- maybe flashing- then assault, then worse.

Get his clothing and description clear in your head and call the police.

You did the right thing to run.

These men are everywhere. I was in a restaurant and an old man asked me to help him install and log into an app on his phone. Given his age, I was happy to help. If he had been younger I would have said no. All went well until he started to describe in detail what he was going to do to the young man who would be visiting his home that day. I thought fuck being nice and made a swift exit. When I was young I would have found it hard to extricate myself.

Exactly.

My ds is only 9 and already knows how to behave better than some grown men I have had the displeasure of meeting.

Op never doubt yourself, women have been killed for being kind and not wanting to hurt a man's feelings. And fuck that.

Decent men know that too fucking many some of their sex are predators, and don't take offence at women protecting themselves. They certainly wouldn't have behaved in the way that man did today.

If it helps, OP, I think you responded sensibly and logically.

Your instincts worked.

Very true.

I also like 'Adults don't ask children to keep secrets'.

That sort of thing has happened to me a few times when out walking especially when I was younger. It also happened on public transport where some guy would come and sit next to me even when there were empty seats!

Sadly it’s the lot of a lot of women who walk/ travel on their own. Always trust your intuition - you behaved very sensibly.

Erm live by the crime junkie life rule

Be weird, be rude, stay alive.

fuck politeness

I think girls need this slogan on T shirts, rather than all the 'be kind' bollocks.

Yes it's awful, I once had some bloke swimming right behind me every time I turned around and would change speed to speed up and he sped up so I waited at the side and he stopped as well and I said "you can go ahead of me, im having a rest " to which he replied "no that's ok, you're setting my pace" 🙄🙄 set your own fucking pace that doesn't require your head to be directly behind my arse!!! I just left.