Encounter in the woods with a man...was I being silly?

[Woodwalk]

I walk in a local woods daily. Today I parked in the small car park where there were around 4 cars already. Changed into my boots, tied up my hair, no one else arrived in this time. Then I set off down a trail which begins running alongside the main road to the right, to the left is an inaccessible woodland - too dense to walk through. You can only enter the trail from the car park (at that end).

I had only been walking for around a minute or two when I got the sensation I was being watched/followed. This is strange as I would only have expected to meet someone head on on the path - given that there's one entrance and I saw no one else arrive at the car park within a minute of myself.

Anyway I turned round a few times and finally spotted a man behind me, slightly off the trail nearer to the side where the road is (trees are between the main road and me). I immediately did feel uncomfortable as I wasn't sure where he had come from, and debated stopping so that he could move ahead of me. I decided against this as didn't want to make a big thing of it.

Instead I kept going and took a turn off into a large shaded area, a clearing where I could see the original trail and find a little tree trunk to sit on (and look normal!) as he passed.

Instead of passing the man followed me into the clearing. I had walked quite far into the clearing to find a tree that gave a lot of space around me. He made a beeline for me straight towards me. I felt scared, and then he met my eyes and asked how my day was going. I immediately went into flight mode jumped up blurted out something about not wanting to be followed on my walk and started to run back to the car park (around 6 mins running). He shouted after me to come back, he didn't mean to scare me, he hadn't been following me, he was lost, he was sorry, come back please.

I just ran all the way back to the car and left.

I'm a woman in early 30s the gent was late fifties I think, and very overweight, if he tried to follow me back I couldn't tell, but don't think he could have matched my pace. He didn't have a dog, but then, neither do I.

Now I'm wondering, was he innocently lost and wanted a chat? Was I being silly to run away? It doesn't really matter now as I'm obviously safe and fine but the woods is my favourite place to go and I feel really put off returning now. Need a reality check as feel a bit silly now but in the moment I was scared.

Hi @Woodwalk
Trust your gut. It felt off because it was. And him shouting "come back" would have me running - what a weird thing to say 😩

I hope you are OK now. These sort of encounters make me consider my safety when walking alone or with my little (too friendly to be helpful!) Women should not be subject to this x

Speaking as a woman, I think it’s quite clear that you don’t have much understanding of just how lucky you are to be so sure that he wasn’t going to hurt anyone. Unfortunately, lots of women (you know, the people who often appear in the news because they’ve been killed by a man while walking their dogs in the woods) are unable to say the same.

Recommend the book ‘the gift of fear’ - this was your intuition keeping you safe, and well done for acting on it so quickly rather than appease the man. I would report to police; this isn’t normal behaviour.

If you felt the need to run you read signs you didn't realize you read. I've had those signs twice and no idea if me not leaving if he safe but my hair was standing up at the back of my neck and I like you left. Always always listen to what your body tells you...it's probably wrong but listen to it as it's probably picked something up.

I think an online police report would be an entirely appropriate response.

So sorry you had to endure this, @Woodwalk

I think an online police report would be an entirely appropriate response.

So sorry you had to endure this, @Woodwalk

Always, always trust your gut instinct. It's better to over react (not that you did), than end up in a far worse situation.
As others have said, report it to the police.
You absolutely did the right thing.

Most of these predators are not psychotic at all.

Those who are mentally ill are more likely to have some form of personality disorder (not all types of personality disorder would lead to this type of behaviour. Not everyone with a type of personality disorder which could lead to this type of behaviour, would behave in this way either).

Most mentally unwell people are more of a risk to themselves than to anyone else.

Many won't be diagnosed with anything at all, they're just nasty and/or with a huge sense of entitlement. The adult equivalent of a spoiled brat who thinks they can have whatever they want, just because they want it.

Lucky escape OP. I'd have been frightened too.

There are android phones in this house and I remember from settings them up that at least one of them has the side-button shortcut options for calling emergency services. We've got Xiaomi and TCL phones. It's worth checking in your phone's settings menu for anyone interested in activating this feature and maybe your phone will have it too.

Not sure why people are nitpicking, it's perfectly clear.

Anyway, I'm an ex copper, tend to be very confident and have zero concerns about walking about alone in any location, and I'd have run like hell from this chap as well.

All the bullshit he said makes it abundantly clear he was not at all lost, he was being a pervert.

Never let politeness keep you in a dangerous situation - who gives a fuck about the feelings of anyone who makes you feel unsafe.

ETA - and ABSOLUTELY report this. It's astonishing how this sort of behaviour can escalate, and reporting allows the police they opportunity to intervene before it does. No reports = absolutely no chance to get it stopped.

A life sentence can be as little as 15 years, it doesn't mean life in prison

YANBU

This sounds so like the woods where I sometimes walk my dog, with the road to the right, a clearing to the left and the circular trail - ours is a 4.5k loop so takes about 45/50 mins to complete. Last summer, my son and I were at the “top” so midpoint of the walk, with the dog on his lead. We had passed a man going anticlockwise round the trail a few minutes earlier and had just paused for DS to climb a tree. Ddog began to bark frantically and I turned round to see the same man had doubled back on himself and was standing a metre or so away from me. Luckily DDog is fierce and loud and reasonably big and the man sort of moved away towards a dead end area by some private farmland. DS looked at me, I mouthed “run”, let DDog off his lead and we sprinted away down the hill to the car park, both totally shaken. Thank god for DDog and his fear of men. Reported it to the police online. Only this week have I felt safe enough to go back there, a year later - and I went at noon on Sunday when I knew it would be busy. Still there were lots of times Ddog and I were all alone on the trail, despite there being about 40cars in the car park.

Trust your gut OP, who cares if you were rude to a man who had made you feel scared?! Better be rude than harmed. It infuriates me that men still ignore the fact that a woman will likely find them alarming, when approached in an isolated situation.

Be kind and be dead or injured.

Here we go again, women feeling they shouldn't hurt men's feelings by thinking they will attack them. I know some women are great at walking in woods and quiet areas but I've given that up now. I was constantly hyper vigilant and that completely spoiled my enjoyment of any place that was isolated with few or no one around. Having peace and a sense of safety in my surroundings has superseded any joy I used to get from a solitary walk anywhere.

I now go to places where there are other people around. Not mad busy or anything, just a bit of human presence that makes me feel a bit more secure.

That man in the OP was up to no good. You did the right thing, move on and do it again if you have to, or find a place that has more activity going on. It's no use being brave for the sake of it.

Always, always trust your intuition, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Of course you were absolutely right to do exactly what you did OP. The man's behaviour was very off, and worrying. Glad you reported it.

There are a couple of silly minimisers on the thread - no need for you to be defensive of their implications that somehow your reaction was unwarranted.

Don't doubt yourself. It's unhappily easy to make women doubt themselves.

You did the right thing OP and if that happened to me I would be ringing 101 (the non emergency number for the police) to report it.

It’s so depressing thats more likely to warrant any kind of response than OP having potentially avoided murder or rape. Blue lights to save the poor lost man in the woods.

It’s shit to feel in danger going to quiet, beautiful places.

No he was not lost or any other 'innocent' explanation that he might have shouted or that's currently doing the rounds in your head.

You had a lucky escape and please - next time listen to your gut and get away immediately.

OP, you did the right thing. And report it to the police.

Sorry this happened OP! You’re absolutely not being paranoid. Please report and please, please find a new walking spot not too nearby for a while.

Ffs do we need to start walking round with dash cams hanging round our necks?

This. As you say us Brits are hard wired to be polite. After several dodgy encounters with men following me as a young woman I learned not to care. And it was always the ones who became "inappropriate" who shouted "Come back".

@Woodwalk Definitely call the police. Whether he is dodgy or genuinely lost you can have a clear conscience.

I'm sorry you were scared. Drat the men who make our worlds smaller.

It sounds really frightening. There are woods I love walking the dogs in but would never go alone.

Fuck that. I’d have run too after kicking him in the nuts . Keep an ear out for ladies being attacked in the area.

You did the right thing.
It sounds dodgy as hell