Encounter in the woods with a man...was I being silly?

[Woodwalk]

I walk in a local woods daily. Today I parked in the small car park where there were around 4 cars already. Changed into my boots, tied up my hair, no one else arrived in this time. Then I set off down a trail which begins running alongside the main road to the right, to the left is an inaccessible woodland - too dense to walk through. You can only enter the trail from the car park (at that end).

I had only been walking for around a minute or two when I got the sensation I was being watched/followed. This is strange as I would only have expected to meet someone head on on the path - given that there's one entrance and I saw no one else arrive at the car park within a minute of myself.

Anyway I turned round a few times and finally spotted a man behind me, slightly off the trail nearer to the side where the road is (trees are between the main road and me). I immediately did feel uncomfortable as I wasn't sure where he had come from, and debated stopping so that he could move ahead of me. I decided against this as didn't want to make a big thing of it.

Instead I kept going and took a turn off into a large shaded area, a clearing where I could see the original trail and find a little tree trunk to sit on (and look normal!) as he passed.

Instead of passing the man followed me into the clearing. I had walked quite far into the clearing to find a tree that gave a lot of space around me. He made a beeline for me straight towards me. I felt scared, and then he met my eyes and asked how my day was going. I immediately went into flight mode jumped up blurted out something about not wanting to be followed on my walk and started to run back to the car park (around 6 mins running). He shouted after me to come back, he didn't mean to scare me, he hadn't been following me, he was lost, he was sorry, come back please.

I just ran all the way back to the car and left.

I'm a woman in early 30s the gent was late fifties I think, and very overweight, if he tried to follow me back I couldn't tell, but don't think he could have matched my pace. He didn't have a dog, but then, neither do I.

Now I'm wondering, was he innocently lost and wanted a chat? Was I being silly to run away? It doesn't really matter now as I'm obviously safe and fine but the woods is my favourite place to go and I feel really put off returning now. Need a reality check as feel a bit silly now but in the moment I was scared.

Nah if he meant no harm he would have got the message from your body language and not continued to try to explain or asked you to come back

Agree with always follow your intuition.
It’s an odd way to start if your lost…how’s your day going? I’d have expected ‘excuse me, do you know…’ type of thing.

Always trust your gut.
I’d have done the same.

I agree with posters who say it's a sad reflection tion on society when women don't feel safe walking alone in woods or indeed anywhere at night. It's also unsafe for men depending on the motivation such as theft. Perhaps we should be considering the amount of dangerous people with psychotic illness who in the past would be looked after in secure psychiatric institutions. Nowadays care in the community is prevelant where in many cases it's totally inappropriate.

I really feel the sadness in your posts OP and I'm so sorry - it's not just that he scared you this one time, it's that he's taken away your feeling of safety and peace in the woods.

I had something horrible happen in a park when I was younger (after ignoring a bad feeling) and thought I would never feel safe out and about again but I did, with time. I hope you will too. Maybe you could join a running club or similar to give you people to go out in nature with, and to give you the confidence that you can get away quickly and keep yourself safe if you need to.

Please buy the book "the gift of fear" by Gavin de Becker and at least read the part where he has an anecdote about a woman in a lift. You did the right thing.

Worst case scenario he was no threat and he hopefully feels a bit silly and will think twice about how he approaches women. Equally, you might have avoided something awful. Too many women end up attacked because they've been socialised not to appear rude. You've caused no harm, you don't need to feel silly. Always better to potentially overreact and keep yourself safe over ignoring your worries and ending up hurt.

A link to a button on your phone?

Really?
This book always gets recommended on here (prob by the author or publisher) , I've read it and it's utterly rubbish.
Very repetitive, with very little practical advice other than patronising nonsense about people who died because they didn't trust their gut.

Yeah all right Gavin. 🤔🤔🤔.

Anyone who voted you being unreasonable is a piece of shit. You did the right thing. Trust your instincts- he shouldn’t have followed you and he should have left you be

I used to work somewhere where we dealt with horrible, mostly sexual related, crimes (not police). I remember when I first started expressing surprise at the sheer volume of cases and having it explained to me that almost all sexual crimes are opportunistic. A lot of the men who commit them (and it is not all but the overwhelming majority is men) do not go out looking for someone to attack and indeed might never have gone on to ever attack anyone had they not been in a situation where they have sensed an opportunity and taken it. That was truly terrifying. Now again obviously not all men but those that have that little something in them that just needs opportunity to come out.

You absolutely did the right thing. If he was lost he would've called out "hey, I'm lost do you know the way to the entrance?" When he was in ear shot, not followed you until he was close.
The calling to come back rather than just saying "sorry i didnt mean to scare you, don't worry im going the other way" is even creepier.

This could have ended very badly had you not run away .
You did the right thing and I think you should inform the police.

I learned the hard way years ago after being followed. I had went that way for three consecutive days. Never again.

@LancashireButterPie agree about the repetition in the book, but that’s typical of the self help genre. I had thought myself relatively streetwise but found the main points useful - trust your gut, women are often under pressure to be polite, quiet etc, and so what if someone innocent is offended.

didn’t find it victim blaming.

Err, no they don't. There's a mandatory life sentence for murder.

It could have been perfectly harmless, but probably the situation, with you being alone, heightened the anxiety you felt. The bit that I think was odd was where he was asking you to come back when you were running away, but I’m not sure the police would actually do anything, because he didn’t do anything like attack you, chase you or shout out threats/obscenities. So nothing illegal.

Don’t suppose you got number plates? Although if the police take it seriously maybe there will be some cctv near the entrance?

Absolutely. A widely circulated pamphlet would have served the purpose better.

I think the oddest thing was him skulking about in the trees off the path to be honest. If you’re lost in the woods you don’t do that, you stay on a path and follow it in one direction or another.

I think you did exactly the right thing. He sounds like a complete weirdo.i have a dog and there are some places I won't go without DH.you can't be too careful. I would also report to police .it socks but I would find a different more public route. A young woman was killed out jogging. Maybe a public park or similar where there are people about

I think you can't be wrong trusting your gut - worst case you overreacted, he was completely innocent and he feels bad now. So what. The alternative is much worse.

Circumstances like that it's always interesting to see how my dog reacts - I trust her reaction even more than my gut, and they're always aligned.

I'm so sorry this has spoiled a nice thing for you :(

God, I'm sorry you experienced this op. As women, we have to listen to our instincts and act on them.

I was 17, walking on a busy main road early evening on the way back from my supermarket job. I got stopped by a middle age man asking me where the nearest church was. I thought it was a bit odd, but I directed him. He then asked me how old I was. I replied and he asked if I was sure (?!!). I said yes and walked away quickly, then ran. I dread to think if I'd said 15 or 18 or whatever, who knows what he was after.

Nobody is suggesting that the police will do anything.

The point is (and has been well made here) that in the event of something happening to anyone in the future the police can refer back to previous reports and get a picture of a suspect's description, movements and habits.

No obviously she didn’t mean that. But I did post a link further up.