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AIBU?

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Original poster

Encounter in the woods with a man...was I being silly?

625 replies

Woodwalk · 10/07/2025 12:26

I walk in a local woods daily. Today I parked in the small car park where there were around 4 cars already. Changed into my boots, tied up my hair, no one else arrived in this time. Then I set off down a trail which begins running alongside the main road to the right, to the left is an inaccessible woodland - too dense to walk through. You can only enter the trail from the car park (at that end).

I had only been walking for around a minute or two when I got the sensation I was being watched/followed. This is strange as I would only have expected to meet someone head on on the path - given that there's one entrance and I saw no one else arrive at the car park within a minute of myself.

Anyway I turned round a few times and finally spotted a man behind me, slightly off the trail nearer to the side where the road is (trees are between the main road and me). I immediately did feel uncomfortable as I wasn't sure where he had come from, and debated stopping so that he could move ahead of me. I decided against this as didn't want to make a big thing of it.

Instead I kept going and took a turn off into a large shaded area, a clearing where I could see the original trail and find a little tree trunk to sit on (and look normal!) as he passed.

Instead of passing the man followed me into the clearing. I had walked quite far into the clearing to find a tree that gave a lot of space around me. He made a beeline for me straight towards me. I felt scared, and then he met my eyes and asked how my day was going. I immediately went into flight mode jumped up blurted out something about not wanting to be followed on my walk and started to run back to the car park (around 6 mins running). He shouted after me to come back, he didn't mean to scare me, he hadn't been following me, he was lost, he was sorry, come back please.

I just ran all the way back to the car and left.

I'm a woman in early 30s the gent was late fifties I think, and very overweight, if he tried to follow me back I couldn't tell, but don't think he could have matched my pace. He didn't have a dog, but then, neither do I.

Now I'm wondering, was he innocently lost and wanted a chat? Was I being silly to run away? It doesn't really matter now as I'm obviously safe and fine but the woods is my favourite place to go and I feel really put off returning now. Need a reality check as feel a bit silly now but in the moment I was scared.

OP posts:
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7
HarLace1 · 10/07/2025 16:26

Unfortunately we live on a society where women do not feel safe walking in woods alone and a man following behind. You would have felt completely different had a it been a woman. YANBU. Yes he may have been sincere but did he have to be so weird about it? As someone mentioned, why didn't he shout out before hand? Also, maybe this would make him think twice about following women in woods in the future, if it was genuine.

However, my mum always said follow your gut. It's very rarely wrong.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 10/07/2025 16:27

Cucy · 10/07/2025 16:13

you have to drive to get there and walk through the car park to the entrance to the trail).
The man either had parked up after I did in a very quiet electric car (or I would have heard the engine) and arrived at the start of the trail moments after I entered very quickly as it was such a small window of time, which could explain why I didn't know he was behind me (very unlikely), or had entered shortly beforehand

This doesn’t make sense.

You say you have to drive to get there but you think he was there before you but there were also no other cars in the carpark?

You did the right thing by keeping yourself safe but I think that the fact you were spooked by him coming from the same direction as you, means you were probably already over heightened.

There are many weirdos out there and so I think you were right to leave because it’s better to be safe than sorry.

The op states there were four cars there.

SylvanianFamiliesBalcony · 10/07/2025 16:27

YANBU, I'm so sorry that happened to you OP. How scary. If he was genuine and lost he could have called out 'sorry to bother you, do you know which way is the exit?' from a distance without continuing to approach you. I don't buy that any adult man is oblivious to the impact it has on women to be approached in a secluded area. Most decent men I know are well aware and go out of their way to cross the street when they are walking towards a lone woman late at night.

SerafinasGoose · 10/07/2025 16:28

Sodthesystem · 10/07/2025 16:01

I'm sure we all know lots of them.

It's probably at least one in 10. And that's just the rapists. There will be emotional abusers galore.

Wouldn't trust 1 in 3 men as far a I could throw them tbh. TBF I feel the same about around 1 in 5 women.

Show quote history

If we can avoid the 'women do it too' defence, particularly in the context of what I've written in the post to which you are replying, it would be appreciated.

I was not raped by a gang of rabid women. The OP's post was also nothing to do with being intimidated by women. The perpetrators were man.

The problem is men.

SylvanianFamiliesBalcony · 10/07/2025 16:28

Your response OP could have saved your life. NEVER try and force yourself to overcome your gut fight or flight for the sake of being 'nice' and not offending someone. Well done.

MyMilchick · 10/07/2025 16:28

better to trust your gut and be wrong than be "polite" and regret it ........

TrainGame · 10/07/2025 16:29

This poor woman was murdered having an early morning walk with her dog just recently. You wouldn't think that women have to be so careful but we do. You 100% did the right thing OP. You couldn't have known his intentions. Even now you don't, despite what he said.

I went to an old haunt a while back, a beautiful lake, but when I arrived there was no one there and although I made it all the way around the lake by myself, I felt so scared because had anyone wanted to attack and/or kill me, I'd have had no defense whatsoever. I felt so vulnerable and the whole thing gave me sinister vibes. Someone was killed many years ago in that area, not at the lake but over a vast area that this covers and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I've given up going to these sorts of places. It is so sad.

Sometimes even with my young children, I had moments of wondering if we were completely safe when I took them to slightly more remote spots. I've read murderers and pedos don't care about children with mothers, they'll take/just do whatever they want anyway.

Tragic that male violence has become such an issue nowadays. We live in fear and it's not fair.

These stories in the mail are all too common.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14890535/The-sinister-calling-card-helped-police-track-fugitive-brutally-murdered-mother-six-walked-dog.html

Calling card that helped police track down man who murdered dogwalker

Roy Barclay, 56, had been living 'off-grid' in a desperate attempt to avoid being recalled to prison when he encountered Anita Rose and her pet.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14890535/The-sinister-calling-card-helped-police-track-fugitive-brutally-murdered-mother-six-walked-dog.html

TrainGame · 10/07/2025 16:31

And a young man killed yesterday in London for his rolex. A young dad. Honestly, the level of violence in this country is out of control.

Murderers get a few years and they're back out. You can't be too careful OP. There are plenty of weirdos out there nowadays.

Muffsies · 10/07/2025 16:31

Whatafustercluck · 10/07/2025 16:17

A (male) boss once gave me this advice when I told him I ran 5k every day and felt safe running in my own neighbourhood, even in the dark. Oddly, it had never occurred to me but I was very grateful for this advice from him.

Op, this interaction was dodgy as hell and actually made the hairs on my arms stand on end. Follow your instinct, it's there for a reason and if he was truly genuine/ innocent then perhaps next time he'll think about how his actions might make a young, lone woman feel.

Edited
Show quote history

I cycle to work every day, same route, same time. Then one day a guy said Hi to me in town, told me he recognised me from seeing me cycle past every day. I must have given him a funny look bc he immediately apologised and said "don't worry, im not keeping tabs on you!" I thought to myself, nah, but I'll be keeping tabs on you!

Anyway, after that I felt mindful of varying my routes and times a bit. I'm sure he was just being a dolt (which is fine), hopefully he won't make comments on other women and their routines in the future!

CharlotteFlax · 10/07/2025 16:32

Well done for listening to your instincts and getting yourself out of there.

Never think you might be unreasonable for saving your own skin.

Original poster
Woodwalk · 10/07/2025 16:36

Cucy · 10/07/2025 16:13

you have to drive to get there and walk through the car park to the entrance to the trail).
The man either had parked up after I did in a very quiet electric car (or I would have heard the engine) and arrived at the start of the trail moments after I entered very quickly as it was such a small window of time, which could explain why I didn't know he was behind me (very unlikely), or had entered shortly beforehand

This doesn’t make sense.

You say you have to drive to get there but you think he was there before you but there were also no other cars in the carpark?

You did the right thing by keeping yourself safe but I think that the fact you were spooked by him coming from the same direction as you, means you were probably already over heightened.

There are many weirdos out there and so I think you were right to leave because it’s better to be safe than sorry.

I said in the original post there were about 4 cars in the car park. All cars were empty. No new cars arrived whilst I was faffing around with my boots.

OP posts:
Invisablepanic · 10/07/2025 16:36

I'm a huge believer in instinct. I've been in situations where for no reason I just feel something is off. I'm not generally nervy, I don't randomly run from men in he woods but if I felt nervous I would.

LondonMumLou · 10/07/2025 16:36

Its better to be safe than sorry, he sounds like a creep

ParmaVioletTea · 10/07/2025 16:39

YANBU.

Even if he were perfectly innocent, you do NOT owe him a conversation. You were out for a quiet walk. You were not his companion, nor his helpmeet.

Until all men take a stand on some men's violence against women, we owe no man our attention.

We can choose to give men our attention, but we do not owe them it.

BunnyLake · 10/07/2025 16:40

Sounds very creepy. I wouldn’t walk in secluded woods unless I had a big scary looking dog with me, it’s a breeding ground for weirdos.

EllieEllie25 · 10/07/2025 16:40

Never ever doubt your intuition or second guess your gut reaction or ignore a feeling that something is off in a situation like that.

If he was innocent and you misjudged him, no way would he have been calling you to come back! You did the right thing.

Report him to the police, they will take it seriously.

BloominNora · 10/07/2025 16:41

Kbroughton · 10/07/2025 15:42

It's so scary when that happens. I was walking my dog in woods once and my dog started growling (which she never does she's a nova scotia they are teddy bears!) I looked behind me and there was a man following. I looked again and he had gone, but my dog started growling and he looked out from behind a tree and then hid again. I took off at that point. Was very scary with no one around. Trust your gut and report to none emergency number.

Dogs have amazing instincts - mine is a soft as pudding labradoodle. She may bark if someone is coming up the drive and she can't see them, but for the majority of people as soon as she sees them she's at the gate, wagging her tail and wanting fuss - people she knows and those she doesn't like delivery drivers, even when they are clearly not keen on her.

We had a delivery arrive one day - she did her usual wait by the gate when she realised someone was coming up the drive, then as soon as she saw him, she backed off and started barking like mad. Luckily he took the hint and just left the parcel on the wall!

It's the one and only time I have ever seen her display any aggression in nine years!

Loopytiles · 10/07/2025 16:43

Please report it, just in case he’s a danger to others.

I read the Gift of Fear age 21 and it was useful, including on being ‘impolite’ (eg running) when we feel at risk and that men asking for help can be a red flag.

Mmhmmn · 10/07/2025 16:49

I think where quiet places including woods are concerned, it is absolutely best to trust your spidey senses as you did, and NOT put trust in strangers and politeness before your own safety. That is potentially life or death stuff.

It doesn't matter if his motivation was honest - if it was, he should bloody well know better than to closely approach an unknown sole female in the woods.

Muffinmam · 10/07/2025 16:49

He wasn’t on the path you were on. He was hiding in the trees - close to the main road. He was not lost - he was following you and when you took yourself to a place where he couldn’t hide he followed you. Then when you ran he made an excuse.

He’s a predator and you absolutely need to report him to the police.

I’m in Australia and a woman was murdered going on a walk through bush land. They’ve arrested a suspect but he won’t tell Police where her body is.

Mmhmmn · 10/07/2025 16:51

Invisablepanic · 10/07/2025 16:36

I'm a huge believer in instinct. I've been in situations where for no reason I just feel something is off. I'm not generally nervy, I don't randomly run from men in he woods but if I felt nervous I would.

100%. We have these instincts for a reason - to keep us safe. They should never be ignored.

Mmhmmn · 10/07/2025 16:52

Muffinmam · 10/07/2025 16:49

He wasn’t on the path you were on. He was hiding in the trees - close to the main road. He was not lost - he was following you and when you took yourself to a place where he couldn’t hide he followed you. Then when you ran he made an excuse.

He’s a predator and you absolutely need to report him to the police.

I’m in Australia and a woman was murdered going on a walk through bush land. They’ve arrested a suspect but he won’t tell Police where her body is.

Totally - I can't think of any man I know and like who would go to the woods and behave like that. NOT normal.

SerafinasGoose · 10/07/2025 16:54

Woodwalk · 10/07/2025 16:36

I said in the original post there were about 4 cars in the car park. All cars were empty. No new cars arrived whilst I was faffing around with my boots.

Show quote history

That's even more sinister.

He was already there and waiting for an opportunity. I really can't think of any other plausible explanation.

RCJJ · 10/07/2025 16:56

Always always trust your gut instinct. Always. I just read the awful news story today about Anita Rose. Any good man, with good intentions, knows you don’t follow a solo female on a secluded trail. You did the right thing OP and I don’t think you overreacted at all!