Childless houseguests-AIBU to keep my child quiet and out of the way?

[StressedHost]

If you have houseguests without children, that like to have sleep-ins and a quiet house, long meals etc., do you minimize all disruption caused by you child (ren) and adapt your schedule to those of the guests? Or do you go on with your life as usual?
I don't know what is the right thing to do and had a fight with DH over it. Essentially, I think it is basic kindness towards the guests to not disturb their sleep and quiet, and I'm aware that children of other people can be quite annoying, especially if you are childless and not used to the noise levels etc. DH thinks we owe them nothing, since they invited themselves and were aware that they were going to stay in a household with a young child.

For context, the guests are neither friends nor family. It is a former colleague that I know quite well, but am not particularly friends with, and her boyfriend, whom we had never met before he came to stay at our house. They sort of invited themselves for a few long weekends over the summer, because we live in a quite touristy, but expensive city. They are here to do sightseeing/going to events in our city, not to spend time with us. They stay for free obviously, but buy some of their groceries (special things they need due to intolerances).

We have a spare room/office, but our flat is quite small. And unfortunately the spare room is right beside the kitchen/living area, so they could certainly hear us getting up at the crack of dawn with our DC. DC is a typical 6YO, not particularly badly behaved, but will talk loudly, jump or run. DC is also awake latest at 6:30 am.
We have the first weekend behind us, and it was stressful. Especially keeping DC quiet from 6 am until 10 am (when the guests finally decided to get up) was hard. I tried to play as quietly as possible with DC in their room while feeding them only cookies for breakfast, to avoid noise in the kitchen (had no coffee myself as well until 10 am, because of our noisy coffee maker).
The guests are otherwise quite nice people-clean, tidy and did not complain about DC or the noise so far.

YANBU=Yes, it is basic kindness to keep your DC quiet. You agreed to the visits, so you have to do your best to keep the guests comfortable.

YABU=They invited themselves and were aware of the DC before coming, go on with your life as normal.

We will not agree to further visits by this couple (beyond the ones that are already planned), and probably stick with inviting only close friends or family until DC is older. So it is a lesson learned.

if you had invited them then yes not unreasonable to ask child not to run about, jump or shout. I wouldn’t tiptoe around or not make breakfast though, however as they invited themselves make as much noise as you normally would- they can book a hotel if they do t want to fit in with your family life.

Unless your child is walking into their bedroom or tantruming right outside the door, then I'd just get on with your normal routine.

It's also good for children to learn not to be people pleasers, i.e. to not twist themselves in knots to accommodate other peoples wants/choices. Basic politeness from your children, yes, but your visitors are guests, not paying boarders and no one is forcing them to stay with a family with children.

I agree with a PP that not getting up until after 10am is rude of them.

A view thoughts:

You've accepted them into your home so they deserve some grace. However 10am lie ins where there is a child is something they probably haven't realised is unfeasible.

You child ahould have a proper breakfast, even if this disturbs guests. Most can sleep through a bit of noise. DC would prob enjoy some morning cartoons so I'd be looking to get up with DC at 630, make breakfast (maybe even in bed as a treat) and watch a movie. Quietly get ready from 8am, then quiet but normal activities. 9am for louder stuff is fair game.

Also, why is your DH being so uptight about digging in on how you should all.carry on as normal when your post implies that he is anyway I.e. he isn't doing anything with DC so what's his problem? Does he just not like your colleague?

Think harder about abundances nd accepting people over in the future.

Would they also like you to lock the child away until they leave? Of course YABU.

Seriously, you have self imposed non paying guest!

If I had children, I wouldn't be silencing them. I would probably give them a drum and a whistle to discourage these CFs staying again.

They knew you had children when they opted to stay.

Your DH is right.

I’d keep them quiet for an elderly relative but these are essentially freeloaders. They should buy you wine/ takeaway/ a gift for the kids and be grateful for the free bed tbh.

HOW? just how do people you don't like force themselves on you like this.

They sound like major pains in the arse and I would be encouraging a musical activity with the children at 8am in the morning. Something with lots of percussion.

Well that's not true - there is no way these people would have entered my home.

Oh god no. They need to fit into YOUR life, house, noise. Sorry maybe 6am is a wee bit early for most folk but defo not 7am, at the weekend, and this is only for fiends and family, like they are cheeky as hell to ask to stay, I would defo have unexpected plans for the next time. Let ur child do his thing. It’s his home. When you go to their house for the weekend when they return the favour you can keep him quiet then

People visiting our home deal with how we live our lives.

That's especially so for people who invited themselves imo

Firstly, someone who isn’t a friend is staying for free?! Nip that in the bud for next time.
Secondly, this is your child's home, continue as normal. If they want a peaceful childfree holiday they can pay for it like everyone else.

I am with the not noisy before 7.30am camp- I impose it on my child whether anyone is on the house or not
If someone needs a lie in- I normally if it's nice take her for a breakfast picnic in the park- fruit, croissants, peanut butter sandwich and some juice type affair.... She can be noisy and gets some fresh air!!!

I think the DH is digging in because, even if he is not there, his children are still there in their, he doesn't want his kids to be treated like 2nd class citizens in the house which they live in.

and he's right.

I wouldn't want you to do this either.

Id be up early out of courtesy to my hosts rather than wanting you to tiptoe around me. Id be up and ready maybe 8am to give you time alone with your child and the child some peace.

Why on earth have you allowed this? And more than once?

Team husband - you and your child live your normal lives (which includes hoovering at 9am)

Do they bring anything? Give you a Thank You gift?

@StressedHost they are not guests, you didn't invite them and you don't run a bed and breakfast!!!!

They would not be coming back for the "other arranged visits this year"

This is your DC's home. If you insist on letting them stay they can like it or lump it.

I am gobsmacked at the level of doormat you are.

Hold on...

They are neither friends nor family...
They are staying for several long weekends...
They are not paying for anything...

But you're asking us if you need to accommodate them further still.... ?

Show them the door this morning and wave the cfs off!!

Have your coffee!

Are you quite mad? Why on earth would you let some people that you don't class as friends invite themselves to stay in your house for a FEW weekends, to save on hotel bills - let alone then let them expect you to mostly feed and water them while they're there?

People pleaser towards everyone but her husband and child.

If this were real, I'd 100% buy my son a vuvuzela and the other a kazoo. Band practice starts at 5am sharp.

I don't believe your husband would really let two strangers, including a man he has never met, insist on forcing their way into your flat with your young kids.

That's mad. I'd be letting the child make as much noise as they want under these circumstances. I'd also.cancel their planned visits. Freeloaders.

Don’t be ridiculous. You carry on as normal and they enjoy staying with you or not. I’d be furious if I was your dh and you were ruining my child’s weekend and feeding them biscuits instead of breakfast. Shameful behaviour, all because you want to pander to an ex colleague 😮

Literally no-one invites themselves to stay with an ACQUAINTANCE ‘for a few long weekends’ - except the cheakiest of fuckers. These people are exploiting you and instead of saying No you are offering up your child so they can have another go!

You have a problem with boundaries that you srsly need to work on, if not for your own sake then to avoid passing on to your child.

Unless the guests broke into the flat the OP and husband could have told them they couldn’t stay. It’s a bit wet of the OP to agree to let the guests stay and then make out that they had no choice.

This is next level bonkers. No, you don't have to keep your child quiet for some freeloaders.