Partner got really funny about swimwear I wore to work away day

[JadeHoliday]

We had a two day work ‘away trip’ last week where one of the bonding things was going to an indoor swimming complex with slides etc. Really fun!

When I got back from this, my partner said ‘you didn’t wear a bikini did you’- which I said I obviously did.

He thinks that’s disrespectful and I should have worn a swim suit ‘rather than have my arse out in front of colleagues’(!)

I told him he can’t control what I wear and he got the hump. He thinks I was trying to make myself attractive and impress colleagues..

Would you say I should have ‘covered up’ or is he being unreasonable

Why would you even wear a thong? Especially to go on water slides! Obviously for attention! The last thing I would want to see is my co workers flabby arse with a bit of string up the crack!

Just curious. Were you trying to impress your work mates?

I agree. Weird choice for a weekend away with colleagues. I bet they didn’t know where to look.

Who did he think it was disrespectful towards?

Him? (he doesn't own you)

Colleagues? (unless they all fainted from the sight I'm sure they coped)

With the kind of highly professional environment I work in (think large, high calibre accountancy practice), I'm literally cringing myself inside out at the idea of wearing a thong bikini infront of my workmates!! It would be so inappropriate, I don't know where to start!

Yabu to still be with a man who tells you what you can and can't wear 😬

I cannot believe you wore a thong to a work do. Why on earth did you feel the need to show your bum cheeks to your colleagues. That would just scream attention seeking to me, it would really put me off a colleague or employee.

30s isn’t actually young for baring your butt is it?
I’d worry colleagues would definitely raise an eyebrow behind your back.

My last workplace had an annual 'conference', always at a hotel with a pool and usually by a beach. All the women wore bikinis, including the 65-year-olds. Not thongs, but they hadn't hit the UK mainstream yet. I imagine they do now.

I reckon if you were the only woman in a thong, it could seem a little off. Your DP's reasoning's pathetic, though, OP. He needs to get used to the idea that other men might find his girlfriend attractive, the twerp.

I can’t think of any professional who would want their colleagues to see them in their bikini. I also can’t think of any profession that would encourage their employees to partake in such an activity either. I’d love to know what you do for a living OP.

When I got back from this, my partner said ‘you didn’t wear a bikini did you’- which I said I obviously did.

Nothing obvious about it.

Plus don’t in burn going down slides with an uncovered bottom?

Even at ‘fun’ work events you are still on company time, and wearing a thong bikini was a poor choice of swimwear.

In some work places they wouldn’t take you seriously in future due to such poor judgement (although in others it could get you a promotion!).

Well executed

Bikini (of any kind) for a work event = not professional and demonstrates an inability to read the room and show an understanding of what is/is not appropriate for any given situation.

As a manager, I would note it and remember.

What industry do you work in OP?

I thought the purpose of those bikinis is to get a tan. In a water park it’s just pure attention seeking wearing one in my opinion. I think I would vomit in my mouth a little if a colleague wore one. Totally unprofessional.

I'm not totally clear even from your follow-ups if he thinks wearing the bikini was disrespectful to your colleagues, or to him. If to him, that sounds like a control/ownership issue, so obviously not good.

If to your colleagues - e.g., his issue is that it's unprofessional and may cause you grief you haven't anticipated - what's the point of mentioning it AFTER the event is over? If he'd brought it up before, it might have been reasonable to give his opinion but even then, since he doesn't work where you do it's not a particularly informed one, and he has to yield to your decision and not keep going on and on about it.

I don't agree that one's "arse" would "hang out" more from a standard bikini than from a standard maillot; the main difference visually/structurally would be that a bikini shows more of your back and stomach. I find bikinis a lot easier to wear because I can individually choose the size and shape of the top and bottom, and I have a really hard time finding a maillot that fits my apparently long torso without being too big elsewhere. I wouldn't wear a thong bikini to a work event as I'd be most comfortable in a trad bikini-type bottom (and probably a tankini top).

If you weren't asked to change and no one has said anything, you're probably fine, especially if other people were wearing similar. In any case, whatever consequences there might be (if any), you're the one who's going to have to deal with them so it's 100% your choice what to wear.

I can't imagine if the bum was a thong that there is much coverage elsewhere either. So I'm visualising tiny triangles on top and strings on the hips, low cut in the crotch. Even if it was was a regular bum bikini, if it was a tiny stringy bikini it was totally inappropriate. Designed to make men look lustily with the intention of making women jealous. A very pathetic signal to colleagues and one that can only cause loss of respect.

Just incase you haven’t got the
memo yet, thong bikinis have no place at a work event. I can’t believe anyone with any common sense would think it appropriate.

Lol, this isn't real. Amusing thread though.
But in case it IS real, pease don't impose your ass or other private areas on those around you, it's gross and highly inappropriate behaviour.

It was a swimming event, what is she meant to wear? A head to toe body sock?! I assume all the blokes had bare chests, have their managers flagged that?! The comments on this thread are so weird.

I don't agree with partners policing their other half's clothes choices, but a skimpy thong bikini does sound rather attention seeking and inappropriate for a work do, not to mention impractical for sliding down slides etc.

@JadeHoliday Did you post because you wanted to show off?

The thong back was a big drip feed to leave out of the original post. Pretty sure people would have voted differently if that was in the first post.

Do what you like on your own time, but a thong at a work event. Just no!

Interesting that your follow up posts don’t seem to get it. It really does seem like a case of you not being able to read the room. I’m all for body positivity, but I still don’t want to see the backside of work colleagues.

I think a thong bikini is totally inappropriate on a work away trip (regardless of how young or old you think you are) and disingenuous strange that OP didn't mention this in her initial post.