Nearly 18 year old won’t look after Ddog whilst DH and I go away

[NormalSunday]

DH and I want to go away for our big wedding anniversary, asked our 17 year old (nearly 18) if they wanted to come. They weren’t keen and would prefer to go to the snow with mates later in the year.
So we’ve started to make plans, now they are saying they don’t think they can look after Ddog because is too tying, and that a kennel would be better, means they’ll miss out on social events and overtime at work if they need to be back to walk her etc (noting they never do overtime at their part time job currently)
AIBU to think they are taking the piss and at nearly an adult should be helping with our family dog, not sacking her off to kennels (which she’s never been in) then still expecting us to fund the trip for them in exchange for our holiday!

The “bone idle teen” who wants to be able to work overtime?

Except there aren’t. What is true is the number of older generations who are ignorant and have forgotten their own generation were called entitled and incapable when they were young adults.

Words are easy. The reality is the bone idle teenager is too bone idle to have actually been doing any overtime, so they don’t need to start that particular weekend just because overtime feels easier than caring for a dog. (Which it is, but the teenager wouldn’t be doing any overtime that weekend either even if not left with the dog)

Except that the OP could/would have found the money if the DC had have gone with them on the anniversary holiday.

I'll just put this here again for those among you who have comprehension difficulties. Ffs stop saying get a dog sitter.

I don't know about 'they' but I'd have thought it wouldn't hurt your son or daughter to care for the family pet for a short while. It depends for how long and what commitments he or she has.

It's not impossible there may be some extra shifts going at work during summer - which might be easier to do as persuably school/college works is finished.

Though OP seems to think it unlikely.

I'd have though a compromoise would be a trusted local walk service and teen - so they can work or go out a bit so dog isn't left too long and muck in with the feeding and letting out to garden.

But I do think the teens attitude a bit off - though not sure I'd escalate by cancling their hoilday but I would have a talk about helping out more generally and about mucking in - and maybe have a look at how much they actually do round the house as well.

You might have been i certainly wasn't. But then I was brought up with manners and an excellent work ethic and not thinking the world owed me anything.

If DS made a habit of working overtime, were otherwise legitimately unavailable, etc, I would think it reasonable to make other arrangements. One must judge the tone of the OP and this one sounds pretty reasonable. I’m trusting she would have mentioned it.

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of [work]. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households.” Socrates (469–399 B.C.)

It has always been said about the younger generations. not that it is true.

Nope, I didn't miss it at all. The teenager can go and stay with a friend or come on the holiday, and the parents can pay for the sitter as normal.

I didn’t miss anything thanks. Perhaps the OP should demonstrate her resourcefulness by looking into other options, rather than resorting to blackmail when things don’t go her way. One of these sets a good example. The other one doesn’t.

Ha, I must have been composing my answer when you posted @tumblingdowntherabbithole 😅

Options are stay home look after ddog or come with you. Don't cancel your trip because they won't help. No way would I pay for ski holiday. You're raising a monster!

The thing you wrote about being shameful and disgusting is not actually what that poster meant or said. (Unless I'm reading it the wrong way)

A "monster" because they won't do as they are told or be forced into doing so.
I can see the stately homes postings from here.

I would get a live in dog -sitter while you are away and pay them with the money that you were going to fund your ungrateful child’s trip with. That will truly cramp their style. It’s unfair to suddenly put your dog in kennels.

First post nails it

A monster🤣🤣

I dunno, to me a monster is Fred West, the Yorkshire Ripper, Joe Bloggs who abuses his wife. Not some teenager who doesn’t fancy looking after the pet dog for a while. Bloody hell.

Tell your dc you understand if the care of the dog is too much. Tell them you’ve looked at the options and one is a pet sitter, but they’ll have to find alternative accommodation, or kennels. Explain that in either instance the money you spend on the care of the dog will come off the total you were willing to spend on their trip. Ask them how they’d like to proceed and put the responsibility in their hands.

Yes! Book the dog in with a nice pet sitter or kennels, as you can’t trust your ds to look after him properly. Deduct price of kennels from ski trip costs. Natural consequences!

And be careful that your ds isn’t planning a massive party at home in your absence which is why he wants the dog out of the way,

Actually op, it might be better if you move the pet-sitter in to your house while you are away and insist that your ds stays with a friend.

The fee for dog sitting for a week or two is a holiday with mates later in the year. Sounds like a bargain. For her.

How many hours does dc work. Are they also in education, with being 17.
I find dogs to be an absolute tie and they take up a lot of time. I wouldn't expect anyone to look after mine for a week who hadn't offered -or who weren't already heavily involved in their day to day care. Cats can't be compared to dogs so I'm not sure why posters have tried.
Dogs aren't really compatible with teen life ( or a lot of adults either).
There must be a middle ground somewhere. A combination of dc doing one of the walks/ feeding and a dog walker doing the other two walks, or something along those lines.

Pretty much exact same scenario for me when I was the teen except it was cats. I was just lazy and couldn’t be bothered plus didn’t want to be tied down 😳My parents said “fine we won’t pay for your sunmer holiday then” and I changed my mind pretty sharpish! Teens can be quite selfish and self-centred and sometimes need reminding not to bite the hand that feeds them!

Why don't you just be a parent?!

Tell them - Yes you will be looking after DDog - it's part of living in this house and being part of our family and it's CERTAINLY a fair exchange for us paying for your holiday. No dog care duties, no holiday (and no wifi or anything else luxury we pay for).

I mean FFS my decent kids are having to share a world with the entitled twats that this kind of soft parenting crap is churning out and it sucks for them. Please try to make them less horrible and selfish before they reach adulthood.