To want to nip this in the bud ( LGBTQ views , child )

[Calmorchaos]

I’m after some advice really on how to approach this.

I have always been the type of person to support anyone to be who they are. I’ve never shied away or shielded my children from the world - very much a ‘love is love’ person and always encouraged my children to support those who need it and be inclusive ( in terms of people being bullied , disabilities etc too ) .

My youngest is going into high school ( 11 ) . Over the past few months I’ve noticed a few comments such as “ there are 2 genders “ , “ I don’t support LGBTQ “ . I’ve addressed this in the moment . But recently he found out his new school has an LGBTQ assembly on a monthly basis and he has started saying he doesn’t want to go because “ he doesn’t support it” . I sat down and had a chat with him , I explained to him that it isn’t really his place to choose to not agree with it - it’s not a choice , i explained it as he could say he doesn’t agree with people eating meat as that is a choice he would be making , but someone’s sexuality is their feelings and not a choice.

I am sure comments will allow me to explain more how the conversation went from my side so I won’t drag this post on with that but his comments were unnerving :

• he believes someone chooses to be gay , they can control it but they choose it
• we can choose who we fall in love with
• if a friend of his told him he was gay he would still be friends with them but not as good because they chose to be gay and he doesn’t support it.

I know he is very young and he doesn’t understand and has things to learn. He is the sweetest boy and the way he said these things sounded scripted as though he has heard others say this . I know he is a child and it’s my job that guide him and that’s the advice I’m asking for , how do I address this? I’m not saying I need him to go around advocating I just don’t want these views becoming ingrained and he becomes the reason another student who is struggling, struggles more. I know I may be overreacting but this age and as the years go on is a time that he can be heavily influenced . He’s a quiet, sweet boy and I do believe he could be heavily influenced.

Another concerning thing is that when I asked him where he had heard all this and where it comes from he said his Dad .

What point are you trying to make? Bisexual is within the queer spectrum.

I totally agree, I usually steer clear of any of those types of posts because I get so angry at how anti trans a lot of these mn-ers are. It's really fucking depressing.

Press show quote history and you will see

Nope, still not with you. Because some women who are bi have said they get to choose doesn't negative OTHER bi people not feeling it's a choice.

And bi ISN'T a choice. It's just that those people are attracted to both. Given the hatred bi people face in society from both gay & straight people, I'd say it's a Hosbsons choice.

So, what IS your point about bisexuality?

Same here. The same mode all the time, a rant and then direct aggressive interrogation of anyone who doesn't agree.

Without RTWFT
LGBTQIA+++Wifi are not a homogenous group, neither are we a "community".
The biggest issue for me these days is that with the rise and demands of the additional letters, the LGB have been dragged in to the backlash, and as a result of this - homophobia has increased both from within and by association.

Ive become more comfortable with people being homophobic recently, because i understand that a lot of it has come from forced teaming and wider society having had just about enough of "the community".

Shame, but these are the times we live in.

@RealEaglei don’t believe that’s the label they use

To be fair having a monthly assembly sounds OTT, just the same way as having a heterosexual relationships/sex ed assembly would be. I think you can over emphasise an issue to where people give it more thought than it needs and that creates more problems than just giving the message that it's basically no one's business who another person chooses to have a relationship with. I've heard teenagers who have grown up with this culture spout some pretty misogynistic opinions about 'cis' heterosexual women.

This in spades.

He is allowed autonomy of thought and belief, without having his feelings or opinions policed.

Homophobia. It isn’t a choice, you’re born gay. The 3 things listed that he is saying are homophobic pure and simple and as the mother of a gay son I would not want my son having to listen to such nonsense.

I’d nip it in the bud op. We had to complain several times re homophobic comments my son had to listen to that had a big impact on his mental health. The perpetrators were quite rightly given exclusions.

I’m not disputing that. ‘Believing in trans people’ is yet another emotive phrase conjured up by TRAs. I know people exist. It’s a fact. It’s also a fact that sex is immutable, that some people think you can be born ‘in the wrong body’, that puberty blockers are irreversible and that putting in a dress does not determine the sex someone is.

Well you can and school willl too. This thread is about homophobia and I do not want my gay son subjected to homophobia in school. It has a massive impact on mental health. No school tolerates it.

Knowing that you can’t change sex isn’t anti-trans. If you see any transphobia report it. Feel free to give an example other than believing in biological reality.

I think it’s important to teach your children to be kind to others, always.

I do also believe, however, that a child is allowed to choose to distance themselves from people, situations and preferences that make them feel uncomfortable.

oh no, I am going to have to bite.

How is believing you are male when you have a female body or vice versa anything other than a belief . Since it is not a verifiable fact, it has to be a feeling and/or a belief. What else can it be?

A belief and emotion to be repected, treated kindly and not denegrated as long as it does not cause harm to others.

Op I am not at all surprised your so is struggling with all this. Sexual orientation is different to gender orientation though both are something we should treat with kindness and respect until they directly impact us in a negative way. Of course the definition of ' negative impact on others' when you are dealing with emotions and beliefs is often where the problem lies.

Sexual orientation is vanishingly unlikely to affect your son in any way (sex is generally practiced in private between consenting adults so sexual orientation is of no consequence in terms of how people connect to each other on a social level) and so whatever his views on that, he should be taught to respect people of different sexual orientations with no caveats as this does not affect him one way or another

The second (gender orientation) is more complicated because one of the sexes (females) have throughout history and even today been treated as lesser than , males throughout most cultures and societies. This has meant that many females object to male bodied people, claiming to be female and sharing our hard won protected spaces, as it feels like our idientity as women is being attacked and erased and our safe spaces are being invaded.

I think in general males seem to feel this issue less with respect to female bodied women who claim to be male as they do not generally feel the need to guard their sex based spaces with as much zeal as women do in order to feel safe.

An exception to this is probably gay men (or males who are sexually attracted only to male bodies) who also like to guard their gay male spaces, with very good reason given how they are also treated in many cultures and societies. Many of these gay man do not want share these protected gay spaces with 'female bodied trans men who identify as gay men' either.

As he is male however, I imagine your son (unless he turns out to be gay) is unlikely to be personally negatively affected by the gender orientation either. You on the other hand as female might be. Maybe you should give some thought to that and to really clarifying your views on all this (beyond be kind to everyone no matter how their views affect you) before trying to explain them to your son.

He isn't being homophonic. He is 11 and is confused about the utter shite that the schools are churning out.

He's only 11 OP.

All of this will be hugely overwhelming to him, probably out of his experience (to date) and complicated by the gender nonsense that's being pushed nowadays.

He shouldn't have to worry about any of this, until he's ready and mature enough to do so.

I think it's deeply unhelpful for all concerned to lump the LGBTQ all together. These are not the same things at all and in many ways their needs are in conflict. How can young people understand same sex attraction when they're also being told that 'gender identity' is more important than sex.

Well it seems that plenty of people on here agree with me.

According to the doctrine of trans tour commends are utterly ‘anti trans’.

That is part of the problem - trans ideology doesn’t let us make any distinction between actual women and men who say they are women.

• he believes someone chooses to be gay , they can control it but they choose it
• we can choose who we fall in love with
• if a friend of his told him he was gay he would still be friends with them but not as good because they chose to be gay and he doesn’t support it.

All of the above is homophobic and not ok.And I don’t care how old he is. It’s not ok at any age.

Ok, so stating that biological sex exists and is sometimes important is ‘transphobic’ by your claim but

Denying that biological sex exists or should be superseded by ‘gender identity’ is homophobic so….

We have agreed on this thread that sexual orientation is not a choice, whereas a persons decision on whether they might be trans is based on many things which could include mental health problems, autism, trauma, excessive porn consumption, desire to kidnap and rape an 11 yr old girl etc.

In fact trans ideology has built in options where people can perfectly legitimately claim to be woman one day and a man the next - so established is this idea that the police will give officers different id badges to suit that days identity.

So if I have to make a choice, I’ll stick with ‘biological sex is real’.

Do you don’t believe in freedom of thought at all?

Not when homophobia and the mental health of gay teens are involved, no.

He's 11.

He is clearly way out of his depth pn all of this, but I can hardly blame him for that. He seems to have been introduced to a lot of information long before he is able to deal with it maturely.

Still be friends but “not as good” because in his own words that friend “chose to be gay & he doesn’t support it”. That’s not tolerance. That’s homophobia. Classic actually.