To want to nip this in the bud ( LGBTQ views , child )

[Calmorchaos]

I’m after some advice really on how to approach this.

I have always been the type of person to support anyone to be who they are. I’ve never shied away or shielded my children from the world - very much a ‘love is love’ person and always encouraged my children to support those who need it and be inclusive ( in terms of people being bullied , disabilities etc too ) .

My youngest is going into high school ( 11 ) . Over the past few months I’ve noticed a few comments such as “ there are 2 genders “ , “ I don’t support LGBTQ “ . I’ve addressed this in the moment . But recently he found out his new school has an LGBTQ assembly on a monthly basis and he has started saying he doesn’t want to go because “ he doesn’t support it” . I sat down and had a chat with him , I explained to him that it isn’t really his place to choose to not agree with it - it’s not a choice , i explained it as he could say he doesn’t agree with people eating meat as that is a choice he would be making , but someone’s sexuality is their feelings and not a choice.

I am sure comments will allow me to explain more how the conversation went from my side so I won’t drag this post on with that but his comments were unnerving :

• he believes someone chooses to be gay , they can control it but they choose it
• we can choose who we fall in love with
• if a friend of his told him he was gay he would still be friends with them but not as good because they chose to be gay and he doesn’t support it.

I know he is very young and he doesn’t understand and has things to learn. He is the sweetest boy and the way he said these things sounded scripted as though he has heard others say this . I know he is a child and it’s my job that guide him and that’s the advice I’m asking for , how do I address this? I’m not saying I need him to go around advocating I just don’t want these views becoming ingrained and he becomes the reason another student who is struggling, struggles more. I know I may be overreacting but this age and as the years go on is a time that he can be heavily influenced . He’s a quiet, sweet boy and I do believe he could be heavily influenced.

Another concerning thing is that when I asked him where he had heard all this and where it comes from he said his Dad .

There is broad consensus .

Some people now also claim that PCOS is an intersex condition - is that an opinion we should listen to.

Again, I did not say that intersex people are in a new sex category. I said that intersex people can have characteristics of both sexes & therefore can’t always be easily classified as either male or female. I was responding to one individual comment that said that everyone is EITHER male or female, without mentioning the nuance that comes with intersex people. Perfectly happy to be disagreed with but it’s quite annoying when people respond with things that I have simply not said.

There is broad consensus

this is factually false.

But that's also nonsense. Everyone can be classified as one sex or another.

Funny, we havent heard anything about people with DSD's raping or sexually assaulting women and girls in sex protected spaces, or filming themselves jerking in womens bathrooms, or threatening women, or assaulting women, or stalking women, or spitting at women, or treating womanhood like a costume for sexual gratification and access to the vulnerable.

Its almost as if tiny minorities arent the issue, but the behaviour of them is.

Statistically the number of trans identified people in the UK is similar to the number of Buddhists in the UK.

When was the last news report about a predatory Buddhist?

That is really offensive to people with those medical conditions you know. I followed several on social media and they hated people constantly telling them they were neither male nor female - do you know how awful a thing that is to say to someone? That they are ‘other’? Do you display the same total disrespect to other people with medical conditions?

And people with DSDs are precisely zero to do with ‘trans’, they are only linked because the trans lobby likes to use their existence be to wrongly claim that there aren’t two sexes.

I’m not sure you actually know what a chromosome is.

Can you explain what a ‘multidimensional developmental process’ is and what determines its progress?

Are you denying this has ever happened?

Despite being utterly strapped for cash and unable to provide basic stationery, you be amazed at how many schools found the money to rip out perfectly good toilets and install mixed sex ones as demanded by Stonewall, or spend thousands on Stonewall membership, or paying other outside orgs to come and indoctrinate teach the children harmful nonsense under the guise of inclusion’. Hell, they even had a phase of inviting utterly inappropriate Drag Queens (some with an extremely questionable history relating to children) and all that lippy and sequins don’t come cheap.

I think it is you that is inexperienced about the capture of secondary education and the money that was made available for the ‘LGBTQ+’ crowd.

Nope it’s really offensive to say there is no such thing as intersex.

Oh really . What about that poor boxer who was accused of being an abuser, liar and cheat because she had a DSD.

Imane Khelif and Lin Yu-Tin are both males with DSDs who boxed against women so they are liars and cheats

Where did I say there is no such thing as ‘intersex’? People with DSDs have asked people like you to stop ‘othering’ them and making false claims about their medical condition. But here you are.

Your list of groups you are prepared to throw under the bus for ‘trans’ is growing.

You don’t follow the news very much do you?

The way to approach it is to encourage discussion and to ask lots of questions to get him thinking. No one ever changed their viewpoint from being told what to think. This has two effects. It encourages critical thinking, and it will give him the space to come to his own conclusions rather than being dictated to by either you or his dad or anyone else he comes across. It will also foster a healthy relationship between the two of you as he will feel like he can come to you with opinions and they will be heard and considered, not automatically shut down. It will also encourage him to listen to other people’s opinions without automatically shutting them down.

My DS has held some odd and sometimes controversial opinions over the years and I have always dealt with them (and any non controversial opinions too!) like this and he has come out the other side as a person with well considered opinions that is happy to hear others opinions and loves a good debate! We can spend hours discussing the issues of the day! He is open to hearing what other people have to say and is open to changing his opinion if he feels that someone has made a good argument for an alternative view/facts come to light that he wasn’t aware of.

Developing his own critical thinking skills is also what will defend him against the likes of Andrew Tate. You don’t want him brought up being “told” his opinion my you, his dad, or the school or anyone else.

Everyine IS either male or female. A man with XY chromosomes and a DSD doesn’t have any cells with XX chromosomes- we don’t work like that.

Regarding "nipping this in the bud" how would posters feel if they had a teen who genuinely espoused pro-life beliefs?

Do I think schools ever incentivise children into becoming trans? No I don't.

This is a ridiculous level of hysteria being whipped up. Teachers barely have enough time to teach. The idea of 'incentivising' children to turn trans is a dystopian fantasy. I honestly wonder what the hell is happening to the GC that believe this guff.

Joining the LGBT club can give access to a special group of friends, something to do at lunch time, definitely special attention from some teachers.

In terms of the hompohobia side of things, I have always had a worry that people making their sexuality a big part of their personality in a country that Is now largely very accepting of people's sexuality might cause problems and backlash further down the line. Pendulums tend to swing, and if a group seem to be 5ak8ng up a lot of space it can possibly cause resentment in groups who feel marginalised.
I am 50, and I knew that I was bisexual when I was about 10. I didn't know the name for it because there things weren't discussed then,and once the AIDS panic started, basic self preservation meant that I kept it a secret because bisexuals were a focus of prejudice from both sides.
Then, as things got more accepting, bi women were accused of jumping on the bandwagon, trying to be "trendy" etc, so once again I kept it to myself.
I am not saying that any of this is a good thing,but to this day, I could count the number of people who know I am bisexual on one hand and those people are nearly all ex partners. Other people don't need to know. Secretly, I have always worried that the Gay community has been taking up more space than we were entitled to, when flying brlow the 3adar may have veen safer. People are slways going to find some reason to distrust people who sre different, so once we got marriage equality it maybe would have been better to take that as a win, and kind of blended into the background. Now that Gay people have inadvertantly been caught up in the trans debacle, I do worry that all the performative Pride stuff may be coming back to bite us. If my DC was questioning their sexuality, in the current climate I would advise them to keep it to themselves.The people who are not homophobic may judge them for being performative,and kids who are homophobic will use it against them.
I don't know if this is pragmatism or a trauma response. I will add that a close friend was stabbed to death in a hate crime incident when I was young and (separately) I would probably have been caught up.in the Soho Nail bomb Incident If I hadn't missed my train that evening. Therefore it is very difficult for me to be objective.
In terms of your son, it may be that without knowing the history, it could seem like Gay people are being performative.He lmay be wondering why this group are being singled out for special attention when to him, they don't seem to be disadvantaged. I would just say that as long as he isn't being nasty,nobody can tell him who to be friends with. I can only speak for myself, but If somebody had a problem with my sexuality, I would prefer them to avoid me than to pretend to be friendly and judge behind my back. Unfortunately, for any LGBT person, people having a problem with your sexuality goes with the territory, but people can just live and let live.

Do I think schools ever incentivise children into becoming trans? No I don't.

So are you denying it has ever happened? You have oversight of every school in the country? Or are you just guessing?

These websites start to tell some of the stories of what’s been happening in schools. ‘Transition’ was promoted to kids by one activist organisation in schools as a way to stop being bullied, Giving special privileges (special assemblies, access to toilets and changing rooms of the opposite sex and power to get peers into trouble for ‘misgendering’ etc) to a group of kids can’t help but incentivise people to join the group.

But sneer and dismiss - it doesn’t change what has been happening

instructions from a teaching union:

https://neu.org.uk/advice/equality/lgbt-equality/supporting-trans-and-gender-questioning-students

care.org.uk/cause/transgender/the-shocking-truth-about-what-is-being-taught-in-schools

safeschoolsallianceuk.net

www.transgendertrend.com/gender-indoctrination-schools-teenage-girls-testimony/

Scientific Journals and Books about what, clownfish?

Transphonic hate groups, give over. Wanting kids to not be mutilated and sterilised is not hate.

Oh @Tandora , my links are not ‘online radicalisation’ or ‘transphobic hate groups’ - honestly 🙄

I know you are VERY KEEN to stop people reading about the issues as raised by groups of parents concerned about what their children are being told (and how they are treated) in schools. The information could enlighten some in this thread who are very invested in denying that the force teaming of the TQ+ with LGB has led to issues such as OP raised.

However, in your rush to make such big accusations you missed that the first link is from the National Education Union - a very pro trans teaching union. And the link is what they are demanding kids be taught and special assemblies etc in schools - from the horses mouth so to speak. There are many many resources like this being pumped into schools.

Bright kids like OPs son who are listening and thinking about what’s being said can clearly see through the lies that the teachers are telling them and it’s causing them to reject it all. So kids expressing ‘homophobic’ views (I still think that term is way too harsh for an 11 yr old but PPs on here would have him punished severely) is down to the TQ+ contradiction.

I would strongly suggest that people read the links I posted for themselves and make up their own minds.

I'm not really sure why my post was deleted? :(

Presumably because you made untrue and defamatory claims about the groups linked.