To want to nip this in the bud ( LGBTQ views , child )

[Calmorchaos]

I’m after some advice really on how to approach this.

I have always been the type of person to support anyone to be who they are. I’ve never shied away or shielded my children from the world - very much a ‘love is love’ person and always encouraged my children to support those who need it and be inclusive ( in terms of people being bullied , disabilities etc too ) .

My youngest is going into high school ( 11 ) . Over the past few months I’ve noticed a few comments such as “ there are 2 genders “ , “ I don’t support LGBTQ “ . I’ve addressed this in the moment . But recently he found out his new school has an LGBTQ assembly on a monthly basis and he has started saying he doesn’t want to go because “ he doesn’t support it” . I sat down and had a chat with him , I explained to him that it isn’t really his place to choose to not agree with it - it’s not a choice , i explained it as he could say he doesn’t agree with people eating meat as that is a choice he would be making , but someone’s sexuality is their feelings and not a choice.

I am sure comments will allow me to explain more how the conversation went from my side so I won’t drag this post on with that but his comments were unnerving :

• he believes someone chooses to be gay , they can control it but they choose it
• we can choose who we fall in love with
• if a friend of his told him he was gay he would still be friends with them but not as good because they chose to be gay and he doesn’t support it.

I know he is very young and he doesn’t understand and has things to learn. He is the sweetest boy and the way he said these things sounded scripted as though he has heard others say this . I know he is a child and it’s my job that guide him and that’s the advice I’m asking for , how do I address this? I’m not saying I need him to go around advocating I just don’t want these views becoming ingrained and he becomes the reason another student who is struggling, struggles more. I know I may be overreacting but this age and as the years go on is a time that he can be heavily influenced . He’s a quiet, sweet boy and I do believe he could be heavily influenced.

Another concerning thing is that when I asked him where he had heard all this and where it comes from he said his Dad .

Absolutely this!!!!

Yet you and ‘letters’ couldn’t explain why my posts were ‘irrelevant’ (and actually a number of posters agreed with my points but you appear to have selective memory on that) or refute any of the points I made.

The objectors (who included some PPs who argue hard in favour of trans ideology on other threads) just resorted to insults (that someone reported and were deleted - I would have let them stand) - calling me ‘freak’, ‘disgusting’ and ‘homophobic’, demonstrating their total lack of argument.

I am just reporting on things that are happening. You appear to want to shoot the messenger. Hey ho.

And it’s slightly odd - because several of my posts were in direct response to your posts about your (from your words) clearly vulnerable gay son who you are striving to protect from homophobia, yet insult me and reject the information I gave you about the obvious risks to him as a young gay man.

If I was trying to protect my vulnerable kid from something I would listen to what everyone had to say and look into the facts but you do you. I guess I made the mistake of taking you seriously and thinking I could help you further your aim to protect your son but you clearly have other priorities. It sounds like you are very keen to have other peoples 11 yr olds criminalised and punished though.

Anyway I’m off to the beach, it’s glorious. Have a good day.

Being trans is not homophobic. Being accepting of trans people is not homophobic. The LGBT movement was started by a trans woman. The vast majority of LGB people support trans rights.

People have not engaged with the substance of your posts because a) it is futile, b) there are a million threads debating these issues on mumsnet and they never go anywhere good.

This thread was started by a mum concerned that her son was expressing homophobic views. Not because he supports trans people , but because he doesn’t think it’s ok to be gay .

Going to the beach sounds like a good idea.

Being trans is not homophobic. Being accepting of trans people is not homophobic. The LGBT movement was started by a trans woman. The vast majority of LGB people support trans rights.

All of this is patently a lie spread by the likes of the activist teachers that are going to be giving monthly assemblies.

Which 'trans woman' are you talking about? Storme DeLavere was a lesbian. Not a trans woman. This sort of rewriting history is why there shouldn't be assemblies that promote this utter nonsense.

Being trans is not homophobic. Some people are gay. Some people are trans. Some people are both. Some people are neither. All of these things are ok.

This thread was started by a mum who has legitimate concerns about her son expressing homophobic ideas he has got from his dad. These ideas are not rooted in acceptance of trans people; these ideas are rooted in a belief that being gay is wrong, and a “choice” that people make, that makes them bad. She was asking for support with that.

There is meanwhile an entire board on mumsnet that is almost entirely dedicated to threads spreading moral panic about trans people.

Is giving cancer drugs off label to gay and autistic teenagers which bring on a cascade of irreversible changes and early onset menopause without tracking their progress long term a 'moral panic'? Crikey.

Characterising trans health care in this manner is absolutely a moral panic yes. A quintessential example of moral panic.

But this thread is not about trans healthcare.

Sorry, do you think that giving those drugs to teenagers is a good thing?

I support access to healthcare for trans adolescents absolutely.

This Thread is about how a mother can support and guide her son who is expressing homophobic attitudes.

You support giving off label cancer drugs to teenagers? Even though there is zero evidence that it does anything apart from harm?

Or do you mean something else as you are being a bit cagey about your answers...either you do or you don't and as such should be absolutely worried about kids being indoctrinated using assemblies which is what the thread is about.

I support access to GnRH analogues for trans adolescents at Tanner stage 2 after proper assessment by relevant medical specialists and on a basis of informed consent, absolutely. The criminalisation of this is horrific and rooted in politics , not science, medicine or justice.

You are evidently not informed on this topic (and have already fully immersed yourself in the moral panic) so I’m not going to debate it with you.

Especially not on a thread which is about how can a mum support her teenage son with homophobia.

I'm not sure why you think I am the one not informed on the topic when I've been researching this for a decade.

But of course, no debate.

Because debating the exact subject matter of the actual thread is a 'moral panic'.

Having assemblies is not indoctrination. Scaremongering again. This thread is how a mum can support her child. It’s not a trans debate or about assemblies .

I didn’t say that ‘being trans’ was homophobic.

I said that trans ideology is homophobic as it places ‘gender identity’ above sex.

Any ideology that says that lesbians should accept men that identify as women in their dating pool (and get attacked for wanting a lesbian only gathering - did you miss that thread on FWR?) IS homophobic.

Hence so many trans orgs rending their garments and protesting over the Supreme Court judgement which says that ‘identity’ doesn’t supersede biological sex.

These ideas are not rooted in acceptance of trans people; these ideas are rooted in a belief that being gay is wrong,

You have literally no idea about where OPs sons idea are rooted from. Nor does OP. She has a theory but I have put forward an alternative theory given what we know about schools teaching gender ideology in their LGBTQ assemblies and the perfect logic her son has applied to this information. His conclusions are inevitable given the teaching that people can change their gender or sex and that sexual orientation is same ‘gender’ attraction. I know you have a vested interest in denying that though.

The beach was lush thanks.

Op does know and has said- the futures have come from her husband.

There is no such thing as “trans ideology”.

There are people who are trans. And people who believe that it’s ok to be trans and we should accept them. The latter is an ideology. The former is not. Neither of these things have anything to do with homophobia.

This thread is about a mum expressing concerns about her son being homophobic , not because he accepts trans people, because he doesn’t accept gay people.

Tandora, who were you referring to when you said a 'Trans woman started the LGBT movement'?

Your accusations of scaremongering cast quite a wide net though.

To the extent where you dismiss actual serious harm that has been experienced by a young gay man as ‘scaremongering’.

This thread is how a mum can support her child. So would it be useful for her to understand where the source of her son’s thinking comes from? She has a theory that it’s the dad but as the school has LGBTQ assemblies which by definition teach homophobic principles and her son has applied some basic logic.

For a child, if you can choose your ‘gender’ (from one of up to 100 according to the BBC), surely the next logical step is that you can choose your sexuality? Especially if someone else has chosen their ‘gender’.

Why are you so determined to harshly punish (your earlier posts) one type of homophobia but defend an almost identical homophobia?

Being trans is not homophobic.

Accepting trans people is not homophobic.

LGBT assemblies are not homophobic. 😂

This thread is not the place for people to spread this rubbish.

OP, talk to your son

xx

The claim that either people can change their sex or that ‘gender identity’ should supersede sex in all situations is not rooted in fact or reality. Therefore it is an ideology.

As you have previously told us you are trans, I think maybe you can’t see the wood from the trees on this.

As you have previously told us you are trans, I think maybe you can’t see the wood from the trees on this

I beg your pardon?

I may have mixed you up with another poster - if so I apologise.

You are very active in posting in favour of gender ideology though.

I am not trans. Nor do I accept your use of the terminology “gender ideology”.

So first OP says this:

My youngest is going into high school ( 11 ) . Over the past few months I’ve noticed a few comments such as “ there are 2 genders “ , “ I don’t support LGBTQ “ . I’ve addressed this in the moment . But recently he found out his new school has an LGBTQ assembly on a monthly basis and he has started saying he doesn’t want to go because “ he doesn’t support it”

Then she said:

I had a chat with Dad , he wasn’t aware of these things our son said and he said he had a bit of a similar issue with his own stepchild- which I was unaware of , we don’t communicate the best.
He was actually quite level headed in the conversation , he said he does say some comments about 2 genders etc , but that it’s in “jest” .

I am sure comments will allow me to explain more how the conversation went from my side so I won’t drag this post on with that but his comments were unnerving

• he believes someone chooses to be gay , they can control it but they choose it*
• we can choose who we fall in love with*
• if a friend of his told him he was gay he would still be friends with them but not as good because they chose to be gay and he doesn’t support it.*

So dad didn’t even think he’d mentioned gay people - he just joked about ‘2 genders’. Unless you’re inferring a lot from the ‘etc’?

OP summarises the views of 11 yr old son and he apparently claims to have got them all from his dad but as I’m sure many know 11 yr olds aren’t always reliable in reporting what they did yesterday, let alone the exact source of some complex views above their age development grade.

When you look at OPs posts together it’s very clear that gender ideology is an intrinsic part of sons’s thinking. I’m not sure why you’re so keen to claim otherwise?