To want to nip this in the bud ( LGBTQ views , child )

[Calmorchaos]

I’m after some advice really on how to approach this.

I have always been the type of person to support anyone to be who they are. I’ve never shied away or shielded my children from the world - very much a ‘love is love’ person and always encouraged my children to support those who need it and be inclusive ( in terms of people being bullied , disabilities etc too ) .

My youngest is going into high school ( 11 ) . Over the past few months I’ve noticed a few comments such as “ there are 2 genders “ , “ I don’t support LGBTQ “ . I’ve addressed this in the moment . But recently he found out his new school has an LGBTQ assembly on a monthly basis and he has started saying he doesn’t want to go because “ he doesn’t support it” . I sat down and had a chat with him , I explained to him that it isn’t really his place to choose to not agree with it - it’s not a choice , i explained it as he could say he doesn’t agree with people eating meat as that is a choice he would be making , but someone’s sexuality is their feelings and not a choice.

I am sure comments will allow me to explain more how the conversation went from my side so I won’t drag this post on with that but his comments were unnerving :

• he believes someone chooses to be gay , they can control it but they choose it
• we can choose who we fall in love with
• if a friend of his told him he was gay he would still be friends with them but not as good because they chose to be gay and he doesn’t support it.

I know he is very young and he doesn’t understand and has things to learn. He is the sweetest boy and the way he said these things sounded scripted as though he has heard others say this . I know he is a child and it’s my job that guide him and that’s the advice I’m asking for , how do I address this? I’m not saying I need him to go around advocating I just don’t want these views becoming ingrained and he becomes the reason another student who is struggling, struggles more. I know I may be overreacting but this age and as the years go on is a time that he can be heavily influenced . He’s a quiet, sweet boy and I do believe he could be heavily influenced.

Another concerning thing is that when I asked him where he had heard all this and where it comes from he said his Dad .

This, it’s utter bonkers obsessive nonsense.

But that's what this whole threads about? Applying 'adult framework' and punishment to children's behaviours? And of course delighting in the punishment of children who are not behaving in the ways adults would be expected to?

You realize that by post was in the context of a lengthy discussion re JHound's use of the word "boyfriend" to her neice, right?

No I didn’t delight in the homophobia my son was subjected to. Funny how the homophobes are seen as the victims.🙄Thank goodness those working in schools have sense and don’t tolerate homophobia, racism etc.

Where did you get the idea that you delighted in the homophobia? I said you delighted in the punishment of the children who were reported.

So those of us whose children are subjected to homophobia, racism etc can’t be pleased when it is dealt with properly and those carrying out said homophobia are the victims? Yeah ok.

Exactly - hardly anyone querying the logic of this every single month when half of MN is frothing at the mouth if a C of E Primary dares to include anything..you know,...vaguely Christian in their Assemblies

Church of England schools have daily Christian worship even though often there are no other alternative schools for pupils to anttend and many pupils are agnostic or other religions. A monthly lgbtq assembly is perfectly reasonable particularly if there are issues with homophobia within the school.

Who has been racist in this circumstance? Where has anyone said someone is a 'victim'?

You describe your DS as 'quiet and sweet' and I wonder if his dad is trying to influence him because he's worried his son might be gay? If that's the case, he's doing something much more harmful. I think I'd be pointing out that he should keep his prejudices to himself in future. In the nicest possible way..

Homophobia in schools is treated in the same way as racism - zero tolerance, just thought I’d highlight gay pupils aren’t getting any special treatment or do you have a problem with that too?

“I said you delighted in the punishment of the children who were reported.” screams -those poor reported kids. The language was very much victimising perpetrators.

A monthly lgbtq assembly is perfectly reasonable
I still don't get how you are so tiger-mother about your G son and yet are happy for him to be force-teamed with the TQ.
This has been mentioned several times and you keep swerving it.

Because I actually don’t give a shit about trans, like many I’m fed up with trans issues taking over threads and because I also think that homophobia in schools as listed and described by the op is what the thread is about and far more important. Last I heard posters can reply to the posts they choose so I will be.

Because I actually don’t give a shit about trans
Even though it is homophobic? That's what I don't get.

The problem isn't your son. He's 11.
The problem is "an LGBTQ assembly".

Just have an assembly. No names, no labels. If one week it happens to feature an LGB person, well, of course that's fine. But it's the label/theme which is tedious and unnecessary. As a taxpayer, I'm getting absolutely sick of this.

Soooooooooooo many of us feel this way.

Read the room.

So take your kids off to the private sector or Trump’s USA, many parents welcome inclusive,informative and supportive assemblies for all kids which are used for all sorts of things. My kids had to suck up Christian nonsense none of us believe in on a loop for 7 years in the only state school available to us. They survived.

Exactly.

Seems absolutely bonkers

Definitely. Not to mention being force fed heteronormativity all the time. I mean, it's mainstream, I get it. But if it was so natural, why do they need to do the brainwashing? So 1/30th of the time they counteract it with LGBTQ. Big deal.

The difference is nobody who believes in Christmas ends up having their breasts removed or taking cancer drugs that cause humungous bodily changes ending in sterilisation and early menopause.

So tedious. Nobody attending an LGBTQ assembly is going to suddenly decide to do either so stop scaremongering. This is not what this thread is about, start your own.

@Slightyamusedandsilly “Not to mention being force fed heteronormativity all the time. I mean, it's mainstream, I get it”

What does this mean? That’s there’s something strange about heterosexuality?

This is not what this thread is about, start your own.
LOL. What happened to inclusivity?
Do I need to remind you that you didn't start this thread, you highjacked it.

It's taken you this long to realise you're married to a homophobe? HE'S the one you need to talk to!!

This sort of assembly will only backfire like the nonstop Christian assemblies in the 80s totally put me off religion entirely. If you keep ramming propaganda down the throats of non believers it won’t convert them. The best thing is to have good LGBTQ teachers and role models who are present in school life but not preaching it as a cause.