To want to nip this in the bud ( LGBTQ views , child )

[Calmorchaos]

I’m after some advice really on how to approach this.

I have always been the type of person to support anyone to be who they are. I’ve never shied away or shielded my children from the world - very much a ‘love is love’ person and always encouraged my children to support those who need it and be inclusive ( in terms of people being bullied , disabilities etc too ) .

My youngest is going into high school ( 11 ) . Over the past few months I’ve noticed a few comments such as “ there are 2 genders “ , “ I don’t support LGBTQ “ . I’ve addressed this in the moment . But recently he found out his new school has an LGBTQ assembly on a monthly basis and he has started saying he doesn’t want to go because “ he doesn’t support it” . I sat down and had a chat with him , I explained to him that it isn’t really his place to choose to not agree with it - it’s not a choice , i explained it as he could say he doesn’t agree with people eating meat as that is a choice he would be making , but someone’s sexuality is their feelings and not a choice.

I am sure comments will allow me to explain more how the conversation went from my side so I won’t drag this post on with that but his comments were unnerving :

• he believes someone chooses to be gay , they can control it but they choose it
• we can choose who we fall in love with
• if a friend of his told him he was gay he would still be friends with them but not as good because they chose to be gay and he doesn’t support it.

I know he is very young and he doesn’t understand and has things to learn. He is the sweetest boy and the way he said these things sounded scripted as though he has heard others say this . I know he is a child and it’s my job that guide him and that’s the advice I’m asking for , how do I address this? I’m not saying I need him to go around advocating I just don’t want these views becoming ingrained and he becomes the reason another student who is struggling, struggles more. I know I may be overreacting but this age and as the years go on is a time that he can be heavily influenced . He’s a quiet, sweet boy and I do believe he could be heavily influenced.

Another concerning thing is that when I asked him where he had heard all this and where it comes from he said his Dad .

Why are you making things up that this boy hasn’t done?

Don’t be ridiculous. Obsessing over transgender issues and ignoring blatant homophobia being expressed by a child is not engaging in good faith.

The op needs to act because her child will end up getting into trouble further down the line if such views are left to fester and offensive views such as this are voiced publicly. Ignoring is doing a disservice to her own child and to gay children attending the school. As such she has updated and quite rightly said she’s going to be dealing with it.I think she’s handling it really well.

I am replying to the poster who criticised me being happy children were punished at my son’s school. Their views were left to fester and turned into homophobic language being used in earshot and then taunting. It was dealt with seriously and led to exclusions which I was happy with.

Probably because this poster like many gender idealogists has the fixed belief that they and their dc are the most Important people ever, that people may have a lack of experience or education, just that if they don't adhere to @Fk48fj beliefs then they should be punished and hung drawn and quartered. Punish before education...

But you said this - Nope 11 is plenty old enough to have some idea of your sexuality

So are you expecting all 11 yr olds to have decided on their sexuality or not? Do you think that some, especially those who have not start to sexually mature, may not be ready to think about sexuality yet?

Yet again - he is a child and is not practising conversion therapy. I’m not sure you have much understanding of children.

Nope they were educated before and after the incidents. Education is part of the exclusion process. There really was no excuse same as when children express racism. It needs to be dealt with promptly, robustly and not just ignored.

Nope kids can and decide on their sexuality at various ages but by 11 many will have some idea. Those that are gay deserve to be protected and those developing homophobic views need to be educated and dealt with when they are offensive and ignoring what is made clear in schools.

This....children of 11, ready to be sexual beings?...🤢 well we all know whose ideology that is...

True.

Although that pp talked about men in dresses so it might not be coming from a belief in gender ideology but maybe a lack of understanding of child development and an extreme intolerance of other views. PP may have backed themselves into a corner snd is now just arguing a position which I desperately hope isn’t reflected in their irl views.

Oh but @BundleBoogie as long as they are 'kind'..... but only to the selective few who agree unquestionably with their idealogy...

Yes, it’s concerning how many adults are desperate for children to be pushed into early sexualisation. I know 11 yr old boys - they are so young looking.

I think you need to educate yourself a bit more. Puberty is taught in primary school. The NSPCC lists what is common in 9-13 olds.

learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-health-development/sexual-behaviour#article-top

9- to 13-year-olds
During these ages, children begin to get more curious about sex and relationships. They may start to be attracted to other people. Examples of typical sexual behaviour during this stage are:

• having or wanting to have a romantic relationship with peers (of the same or different gender) (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; Virtual Lab School, 2021)
• using sexual language, making jokes about sex or discussing sexual acts with peers (SECASA, 2017; Stop It Now, 2007; Virtual Lab School, 2021)
• wanting more privacy (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; NCTSN, 2009; SECASA, 2017; Virtual Lab School, 2021)

Nobody is pushing children into early sexualisation they are simply not tolerating homophobia.

having or wanting to have a romantic relationship with peers (of the same or different gender) (National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, 2013; Virtual Lab School, 2021)
Gender? Are you happy with the NSPCC using that language?

What? It is so yawnsome the pathetic cry of educate yourself!! because it always means 'you need to show you you are in thrall to our ideology'.... repent, repent oh sinner...

Were these views you have always known his father had?

I guess all you can do is continually point out the other side.

I literally was talking to my niece today about this boy she met at a school camp. She clearly fancied him and I asked her if he was her boyfriend and she responded “I would like him to be”.

She is 11. Young children can have crushes and be very aware of their sexuality.

Right. It isn't his business, and therefore it isn't his problem.

He shouldn't have to support/not support anyone if he doesn't want to.

He can be mates with whoever he wants to, for whatever reason he wants to.

He needs to be polite, and not be rude, but he DOESN'T have to do anything else.

This is your backlash, all of the singing dancing, support support support celebrate, ignore any sensible discussion and conflate simple sexuality with a myriad of other nonsense has resulted in the current crop of kids rolling their eyes and thinking you are all a bunch of nobheads. Well done!

We have gone from most people not giving a shit if you are gay, to lots of people thinking gay=drag queen and sexualising children. Good job LGBTQI+ team! Fucking idiots.

You are literally expecting 11 yr olds to have worked out their sexuality!

but according to @Fk48fj

Nobody is pushing children into early sexualisation

Why in the world would you try and normalise the idea of an 11 yr old ‘fancying’ and having a boyfriend? If I was her parent I’d be having a word with Uncle Jhound!

The family local to me that was normalising ‘dates’ for their young daughter and fast forwarding her maturity has ended up with her having a baby at 15.

I might have known that supporters of trans ideology have no idea of appropriate boundaries around children, eh?

Uncle JHound?

Asking questions isn’t pushing anybody into anything. But this notion that children are completely unaware of their sexuality is false. I have known far more young children than not have crushes. They may not have a term for it [their sexual orientation] and it maybe far more innocent than adult relationships but it’s not alien.

I don’t need to “normalise” that which is normal.

Wow! You were happy that children were excluded from school!

Their views were left to fester and turned into homophobic language

The ‘festering’ was presumably facilitated by adults who are failing children left, right and centre. Could the adults not act like adults and find a non excluding solution? If they can’t help guide kids onto the right track and prevent bad behaviour without taking such drastic steps that can ruin a child’s education, they shouldn’t be in teaching.

And I find your views on children extremely harsh.

What’s wrong with children being excluded for bullying?

I’m assuming you’re a man because I can’t bear the idea of a woman asking that of an 11 yr old like it’s perfectly fine.

Children might well have ‘crushes’ - they don’t need adults to encourage it by asking leading questions about befriends etc. You may not realise it by you are encouraging and normalising the idea of sexual relationships with an 11 yr old. I worry about the conversations you’re having with all of these children as I certainly don’t know more children with ‘crushes’ than not!

...I think we should be kind enough to not let our views have an impact on the mental health and well being of others . Just because you don’t believe in something doesn’t mean people need to hear your opinion on that - what harm does it do to just be supportive...
This is such a dangerous and common view - the harms are so horrific and purposefully targetted at kids, yet invisible somehow.