To want to nip this in the bud ( LGBTQ views , child )

[Calmorchaos]

I’m after some advice really on how to approach this.

I have always been the type of person to support anyone to be who they are. I’ve never shied away or shielded my children from the world - very much a ‘love is love’ person and always encouraged my children to support those who need it and be inclusive ( in terms of people being bullied , disabilities etc too ) .

My youngest is going into high school ( 11 ) . Over the past few months I’ve noticed a few comments such as “ there are 2 genders “ , “ I don’t support LGBTQ “ . I’ve addressed this in the moment . But recently he found out his new school has an LGBTQ assembly on a monthly basis and he has started saying he doesn’t want to go because “ he doesn’t support it” . I sat down and had a chat with him , I explained to him that it isn’t really his place to choose to not agree with it - it’s not a choice , i explained it as he could say he doesn’t agree with people eating meat as that is a choice he would be making , but someone’s sexuality is their feelings and not a choice.

I am sure comments will allow me to explain more how the conversation went from my side so I won’t drag this post on with that but his comments were unnerving :

• he believes someone chooses to be gay , they can control it but they choose it
• we can choose who we fall in love with
• if a friend of his told him he was gay he would still be friends with them but not as good because they chose to be gay and he doesn’t support it.

I know he is very young and he doesn’t understand and has things to learn. He is the sweetest boy and the way he said these things sounded scripted as though he has heard others say this . I know he is a child and it’s my job that guide him and that’s the advice I’m asking for , how do I address this? I’m not saying I need him to go around advocating I just don’t want these views becoming ingrained and he becomes the reason another student who is struggling, struggles more. I know I may be overreacting but this age and as the years go on is a time that he can be heavily influenced . He’s a quiet, sweet boy and I do believe he could be heavily influenced.

Another concerning thing is that when I asked him where he had heard all this and where it comes from he said his Dad .

My point in posting was to try to prevent my son having unkind views and expressing them and in the world we live in, despite your own opinions , I think we should be kind enough to not let our views have an impact on the mental health and well being of others . Just because you don’t believe in something doesn’t mean people need to hear your opinion on that - what harm does it do to just be supportive
But as ever, that goes only one way....
Your view seems to not be based in sex realism, and that it's gender over sex?
But yet you're happy to enforce your views and opinion on him?

Because they are the right views upheld by law in this country. If you don’t like them there are other places in the world that support homophobia.

Give over. This thread is not about your son.
It's about Trans forcing other people to conform to their belief system.

Did you read the op?These are the comments concerning her.

• he believes someone chooses to be gay , they can control it but they choose it
• we can choose who we fall in love with
• if a friend of his told him he was gay he would still be friends with them but not as good because they chose to be gay and he doesn’t support it.

This thread is about homophobic views, give over trying to turn yet another thread into a trans debate. It’s tedious.

No, queer theory is a way of disassociating normality and normalising alienation, and was invented by a paedophile child rapist.

@AbzMoz 'ramblings after a lemsip' LMAO

No idea if this will truly help but there are certain films/tv programmes you could watch with him (on top of talking to his dad and trying to address it in other ways!)
Off the top of my head, pride is a very emotional film, it's a sin, the imitation game..

An LGBT assembly once a month seems like a lot? Maybe there's a reason his school are doing this, like lots of pupils with this same attitude?

I think it’s an abusive slur for gay men that people have adopted to describe a sexual orientation and identity umbrella that doesn’t make much sense. I don’t need a clarification but thanks.

The Heartstopper books are popular. Modern Family is a good light hearted show to watch if you wanted to normalise same sex families and have gentle discussions.

I'd maybe say that when he starts to find some people attractive and others not at all attractive, he'll realise it's not entirely in our control, it's a physical as well as mental reaction that comes naturally to us and being gay comes naturally to some people. It's wrong to fake being hetero as that would cause real unhappiness to both people.
Remind him that bring gay foes no harm yo anyone. It's just a natural inclination.

OP, he's worried. I was worried at his age, back in the 1970s. Omg the homophobia that existed then was unbelievable. Anyone departing from the heterosexual norm was a 'poof' or a 'perv'. Gay people were lumped in with paedophiles. I distinctly remember looking up homosexuality in a medical book at the library, because, at 12, I was a bit gone on another boy. It said same-sex crushes were 'normal'. I was relieved, but I was 12 fgs.
As long as you stick to kindness, you won't go far wrong. I emerged from the worst imaginable sort of boys-school atmosphere, got a job where about half the workforce were gay - and great fun - and no way was any of the prejudice going to influence me against guys who became good mates. You sound like you're handling it well; you've raised a nice boy & with your continuing influence it's very unlikely he'll convert his uncertainty into anything awful.

I think you’ll find that the Supreme Court said exactly the opposite - that biological sex is more important than some woolly concept of ‘gender’.

There is so much confusion over this - the claim that ‘gender’ is more important than biological sex is the homophobic view.

If you say that people are attracted to a ’gender identity’ over biological sex, then you are denying that people are exclusively attracted to the same sex. That is homophobic.

If you say that a gay man would be attracted to a female who dresses and identifies as a man, that is homophobic.

This thread isn’t about men dressed as women but about the homophobic views quoted by the child in the op so enough already with yet another thread being turned in the oh so tedious trans debate.

• he believes someone chooses to be gay , they can control it but they choose it
• we can choose who we fall in love with
• if a friend of his told him he was gay he would still be friends with them but not as good because they chose to be gay and he doesn’t support it.

Again, none of that is against the law. The law has nothing to say on whether those are the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ views to hold.

But if you read the comments, it’s clear that

a) the boy is 11 and isn’t really ready for the in depth discussions on sexuality that are being pushed on him.
b) the boy is being given false information about people being ‘born in the wrong body’ by the same people who are trying (and failing) to explain sexuality.
c) he is therefore trying to sift through and work out what he believes and who he trusts while his friends is telling him he is gay which, given the age of the boys it’s unlikely that he actually knows for definite as he should not yet be sexually active.

The really tedious thing is the constant refusal to recognise that the gender ideology (brought up in the OP)is the truly homophobic movement and if trusted adults undermine themselves by telling lies to children, we end up with confused children.

The intolerance from adults toward a young boy who now doesn’t know who he trusts to tell him the truth is astounding.

Nope 11 is plenty old enough to have some idea of your sexuality and all gay children have the right to go to school without being subjected to the homophobic views listed by the op from her child which she is quite rightly concerned about. Believing that being gay can be controlled is conversation therapy which is hugely damaging and not ok in any school. Those views are what she is concerned about and what this thread is about. They are not ok and no school will tolerate them.

This thread isn’t about men dressed as women but about the homophobic views quoted by the child in the op so enough already with yet another thread being turned in the oh so tedious trans debate.
OP said (Yesterday 20:11) "as I try to explain to him there are people who feel they are trapped in the wrong body". You should be cross with the OP, not us! How can she teach her DS about homosexuality / same-sex attraction if she believes in Gender Identity i.e. that sex is a changeable thing?

The really tedious thing is the constant refusal to recognise that the gender ideology (brought up in the OP)is the truly homophobic movement and if trusted adults undermine themselves by telling lies to children, we end up with confused children.
The intolerance from adults toward a young boy who now doesn’t know who he trusts to tell him the truth is astounding.
This and the gleeful pitchforks out against young dc.. especially the poster who was so pleased of the punishment administered to 11 year olds at her dc school... so don't attempt to understand why they think like that and educate them....PUNISHMENT!! As that's the best way to productively move on positively...🙄

This thread isn’t about men dressed as women

Literally the first point raised by the OP is this ...

Over the past few months I’ve noticed a few comments such as “ there are 2 genders “

The OP's son seems to be too
young to have personal experience of his own sexuality yet. Which is totally normal.

However the very adults who are educating him on this important topic, are also filling his head with nonsense about people being 'born in the wrong body'. So is it any great wonder he's confused about who/what to trust, particularly when he's very young and presumably hasn't experienced his own sexuality in any meaningful way yet?

This is the price that we pay when we take all this too far.

Yep when those ignorant views turn into teasing and homophobic language causing huge distress to gay pupils within the school punishment is needed. There is no excuse, children are educated and spoken to when views are offensive.

She is focused on the listed homophobia coming out of her son’s mouth. It isn’t ok and won’t be tolerated in any school or workplace. So quite rightly she does need to nip it in the bud.

So you are saying that all children must decide on their sexuality at age 11 regardless of their stage of maturity or whether they’ve even started puberty? Are you actually serious?

I’m sure you think you are saying this for the right reasons but honestly, I think you’re taking it way too far. He is not engaging in conversion therapy - seriously!

If you deem what he says to be homophobic I think you’re barking up the wrong tree - he is a child being confused due to inappropriate and incorrect information he is being told.

The thing that OP said about people being born in the wrong body is the homophobic view although I’m sure it’s through misinformation not malice.

You're just ignoring the evidence right in front of your eyes. She has referenced transgender identities in more than one post.

If you can't acknowledge what's right in front of you, you clearly aren't engaging in good faith.

Some children will be aware of their sexuality at 11. Many won't be.

Surely that's not very difficult to understand.

Nope of course children don’t need to decide on their sexuality but many are thinking about it. A child saying gay people choose to be gay and can control it are voicing views no different to conversion therapy and it’s not ok. No teacher will have told children this because it’s homophobic.