Aware of Head Teacher and Teacher affair

[GlitterGold7]

Name changed for this. I’ve become aware that the HT of my DC’s primary school is having an affair with one of the teachers. Both are married.

Would you do anything with this information? It feels utterly morally bankrupt that the HT is abusing his position like this, and I feel so sorry for the partners involved.

Genuinely just sounds like you’ve got nothing better to do with your life

Agree Dawdling, I need a laughing emoji for a lot of stuff on these threads. They are so amusing esp. the comment you are referring to.

I wouldn’t want my DC taught by someone who can’t keep their legs closed and is probably thinking about her next illicit shag

You sound absolutely horrible tbh. You're managing to let your imagination run wild about hypothetical promotions etc while being extremely limited in your thinking about how capable another adult is of being more than just sex object. I think your DC has bigger issues being taught her fundamental world view by such a judgmental and small-minded mother.

It’s a gem of a comment that one isn’t it?

Whatever their sex

The HT is the teacher's boss

And it is the business of the other staff. Not the parents

We know the teacher is female because OP used that crass and misogynistic "can't keep legs closed" phrase and said she would be too preoccupied with her next shag to teach properly. As there was no such phrase used for the head, nor concern for the effect shagging would have on any ability to do the job, I think it's fair to assume the head is a man.

This needs to be reported to the governors/HR at the local authority. They’re supposed to report it themselves so that they’re covered against allegations of sexual harassment, inappropriately sharing information.

unfortunately people are stupid and don’t report themselves.

this is not at all about morality but is about conduct. I personally know of people who’ve had loads of problems when they haven’t reported themselves and it’s all gone up shit creek.

I’m totally at loss as to why you assume the HT is abusing their position tbh….

Of course public servants work for us. They may be employed by the government, but their role is to serve the public interest and deliver services to us.

How do you know if either of their marriages are happy or even if they've not split with their partners? Or how can you be certain they're shagging?

Your children's teachers' marital status and relationships are nothing to do with you.

How would you like the teachers gossiping about parents and their far from exemplary moral behaviours behind closed doors?

Two teachers at my children’s primary school were sniffed out by my JRT in a field behind the school whilst out dog walking! Both married. I did not tell a soul and 20 years later they are still together. Definitely no one’s business.

Why is he abusing his position…I’m presuming they are both consenting adults

Eyewitness testimony is probably the least reliable evidence available. Really all you know is that two people who resembled the Head Teacher and one of the teachers were seen in a hotel together by somebody who promptly passed the tale on to other parents. It may have been some school gathering or leaving party or whatever. I have also stayed in the same hotels as my colleagues when my personal policy one drink and early to bed on my own. It may not have been the Head Teacher and the teacher for all you know. In my youth I was misidentified as a high priced call girl - she lived in the downstairs flat and I lived in the upstairs flat and we were about the same size, age and colouring. Honestly, giving credence to these sorts of stories is very undignified and says something about you.

I was the teacher accused of this. It wasn't true.

Thankful that my (now X) husband believed me when I told him of the rumours going round about me and the Head.

It could have blown my family apart.

Keep well out of it @GlitterGold7

So many reasons ...

Power imbalance in career repercussions, performance evaluations, job security, favouritism (perceived or real).

It's a conflict of interest in staff appraisals, staff assignments and disciplinary matters. Fosters resentment and distrust among staff.

It's a breach of professional standards (as set out by the government) to model ethical behaviour, maintain clear professional boundaries for all the above reasons, and avoid actions that could undermine the school's integrity and cause damage to the school's reputation.

Get a life or a job!

Is it actually true? Presumably, the are both adults if they are married. The biggest issue is can see is that cits unprofessional and could be seen as a breech of power. I wouldn't involve myself.

This is unbelievably common and none of your business.

It sounds like some people on here should join the morality police. Everyone is entitled to do what they want. Don't agree with it, don't do it!

I know a primary school where the deputy head is married to the head of Juniors. Nobody is accusing him of improper behaviour.
As long as the teacher isn't getting unfair promotions etc because of the relationship, I can't see the problem.

None of your business

Unless she came to you to say she was being abused by his position of power, you stay out of it. Nothing to do with you or anyone else what two consenting adults get up to.

You could cause a huge amount of stress for people and possibly come out of it looking a fool if you were proved to be wrong

Wishful thinking perhaps, @JLou08?

Like the OP on this thread, the gossip-mongers - having had their fun - are often nowhere to be seen once reality dawns, and their peers who've enjoyed it equally are hardly likely to criticise

Apart from those who had the sense not to get involved that really just leaves the subjects of the gossip, and they're unlikely to say much either - partly as they don't want to start it all up again, but also because they know full well that the originator will have moved onto some fresh thrill

Well the teacher he was having an affair with got sent to another school and we got a teacher from the other school in exchange, so technically he got away with it and she didn't because he kept his job and she got moved.

You said they sent snippy letters home about behaviour with your concern being the behaviour of the staff. I said that no heads send letters home about the behaviour of parents that mirror what the staff in this school are doing.

Kind of letters sent out:

Nitpicking letters - do not park on the zigzags or your child might get killed isn't a nit picking letter. It is basic safeguarding.

Please read daily with your child - working together to provide the best education is pretty standard. If you haven't got 5 minutes a day with your child to read then the bar is pretty low.

Code of conduct doesn't say do not have sex.

They are slaves to you as most of the work is unpaid so if morals is to go by then maybe start paying them more so all their work is paid and stop expecting them to work 24/7.