Aware of Head Teacher and Teacher affair

[GlitterGold7]

Name changed for this. I’ve become aware that the HT of my DC’s primary school is having an affair with one of the teachers. Both are married.

Would you do anything with this information? It feels utterly morally bankrupt that the HT is abusing his position like this, and I feel so sorry for the partners involved.

So why do you keep saying you do know?

Nothing about this has suggested they are doing anything wrong. If someone is out and about at the weekend that is not doing anything wrong. Pushing to investigate someone just going about their business is not ok.

Staff conduct is important but what conduct is being broken by being out in public? Absolutely nothing!

Would you want all staff investigated because they met up with a colleague? There are many meetings with staff - weekly events in most schools. Staff go to each other's houses, sleep over, go on holidays together, go to events like the races, go out drinking, go shopping, go to each other's weddings, hen/stag dos, babysit for each other, help decorate, help run businesses, plan together, games nights, do joint training, be each others support in times of need.

You cannot police the meet ups because it is a male and a female meeting and you think that males and females are up to no good if they meet up due to your own sad little judgements on male/female friendships.

What if two female staff met up? Would that be a cause for concern? If not, why not?

Many do help out but they certainly do not organise things and do all the behind the scenes planning and prep for it.

That is the PTA job. If you think taking money on a stall is 'doing the tombola' then you have no idea as to what work goes into the fayres.

Surprised you even went to them given you begrudge them a fart.

Gloriia

So the head I am governor for went to her junior's house last weekend for a beauty treatment which the staff member does as a sideline. That is two females alone in a house while one touches the other. One being the boss and one being the junior.

Are they fucking? Is it a cause for concern?

She runs her own business on top of her work. Yes that is allowed. She is allowed more than 1 job so before you mention declaring/tax etc it is all above board.

Why so touchy, there's nothing wrong with the tombola? My friend used to be a governor and she used to make cakes for fairs. Mind, she was also very aware of the importance of staff conduct issues and would absolutely have arranged to see the married boss to establish facts in a situation like this. Maybe they were doing 'beauty treatments' in a service station hotel 🤔.

I'm not touchy. Again you making judgements for no reason.

So your friend investigated all staff outings? Wow! Did she not have a life doing all that investigating on normal daily stuff?

What was her reasoning behind all the investigating?

There are many things they could be doing at a hotel. Most likely having a drink as people usually do when you meet up as adults.

How come you cannot think of anything to do with a male other than fuck them?

A conflict of interest is a different matter entirely if it's interfering with the everyday running of the school. That's a serious matter.

What two consenting adults get up to away from school premises and in their own time is their business. (If they're doing it at the school under the noses of the kids then yes, that presents a safeguarding issue but there's no suggestion that this is the case). I don't care if half the teachers at my DC's school are shagging each other provided that they do their jobs. That they do do them, and are dedicated and professional, is not in question for me. He's just come home with the most incredible SATS scores - highest reading score in the entire school and has only recently been diagnosed with dyslexia and sensory processing disorder. They have to be doing something right.

Sex between colleagues - yes, it goes on. But as far as I'm concerned I'm not remotely interested: I'll expend my attention and energy on my own life. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Absolutely it is a serious matter if this is the case.
If there is a conflict of interest then that needs dealing with. Seems like three issues at this school which was being discussed.

The teacher who was observed by the parent as not performing well.
The HoD who is not doing their job and deflecting onto someone else and lying.
The HT who is potentially not doing their job.

Sadly though there are a lot of things in schools which are rumours stemming from gossip and it can and does ruin the lives of staff. I have seen staff falsely accused of all kinds of things because the playground gossip 'thinks' something and it really does harm people. Best keeping out of it unless there is an issue.

how junior? A student teacher I would agree with you, but a class teacher is not viewed aa junior.

'There are many things they could be doing at a hotel. Most likely having a drink as people usually do when you meet up as adults.'

Why yes just the other day I popped to my local service station to meet a colleague for a chat, oh no hang on we actually met in Costa in the high street as is the norm. Well Starbucks too or a pub. A hotel in a service station? It's never come up as a potential meeting venue. Maybe necessary if one is having a 'beauty procedure' .

Some people on this thread are either very naive or have exceptionally low expectations of Head teachers and what they may or may not be up to with their junior staff at grotty service station hotels..

And as I have pointed out many times there are countless other reasons to meet but hey you can only think of meeting for sex when you meet a male.

I've met with teachers from the school at a random hotel before. We had safeguarding training there. You'd report us for having a gangbang no doubt as a local hotel for training is not a valid reason is it? It isn't being naive it is knowing that there are many reasons which others and I have shared which you cannot accept as a reason. Mainly because men are sex toys for you and you cannot see any other reason to meet a man but for sex.

Still waiting for your reply on two female staff. You've ignored that for some reason. I know you've read it but for some reason the questions remain unanswered. Can you reply please?

'I've met with teachers from the school at a random hotel before. We had safeguarding training there'

Would seem poor organisation and not the best use of time and resources to have an event with only 2 members of staff, but as we're discussing schools anything is possible!

You need investigating for meeting at Costa or the pub. Two colleagues meeting for coffee is suspicious behaviour. Hope you reported back to your boss because not doing so is admitting guilt.

Many hotels have a lounge area and have outdoor seating etc. I went to one yesterday and had lunch with a friend. We sat out and it was lovely. You might live in the scummy part of town with scraggy hotels but the one near me is beautiful. Won awards too and it where the footballers stay when they are visiting. But hey, all local hotels are grotty near you. That isn't what all of us experience.

Poor organisation? How come?

It is a course offered by the local council that we booked onto. You do know that this happens and that local councils will rent venues and put on training that all local schools can attend? Great if there is only a need for 1 or 2 staff to have said training. So if someone needs say first aid training for forest school which only 1 or 2 staff may need then those members of staff can be sent on that at a venue and many other schools will also send one or two staff members.

Our council puts out a booklet each summer about the training courses on offer for the academic year and the venues. Some are at hotels, some are at high schools with conference rooms, some are at football grounds.

Saves the council having to own and maintain their own venue so it is very much the best use of time and resources.

What would be a bad use of time and money would be the school booking a trainer to go to the school just for two staff and to pay a huge amount for that running into thousands instead of paying a small amount - say £100, to attend a pre organised session run locally.

Still avoiding the two female question.

Can you answer please?

'Many hotels have a lounge area and have outdoor seating etc. I went to one yesterday and had lunch with a friend. We sat out and it was lovely. You might live in the scummy part of town with scraggy hotels'

We're talking about service stations grotty places not 'hotels' as a whole. Most folk choose a nicer place for a coffee. Unless they need somewhere with a cheapo room for an hour with a bed that is..

Why on earth do you assume I live in a scummy part of town wirh scraggy hotels? You are very sneery, we are quite posh thanks.

Ime the main thing which determines meeting places at work is distance between the parties homes.

This hotel is on a motorway junction. It is just that.

You were the one referencing your local hotels. You said you do not frequent your local grotty hotels. I have no idea where you live. You said your hotels were grotty.

Ours is lovely.

'You were the one referencing your local hotels'

I said 'Some people on this thread are either very naive or have exceptionally low expectations of Head teachers and what they may or may not be up to with their junior staff at grotty service station hotels..'

Surely we all agree that all service stations are grotty? My point being no one chooses them for a lovely catch up. A quickie maybe.

All my local hotels are posh and up market thanks, much like the residents .

I do not agree that all are grotty as not all are.

Look at this cesspit of a service station. Absolutely rank!

Yes people do choose them for a variety of reasons.

Your hotels are posh yet you choose Costa. Nuff said!

Can you answer my female question please?

Is this the 4th time I have asked?

sounds like training course to me. Very often a member of the leadership team and a classroom teacher will attend, along with other schools. Hotels at service stations are easy to access from all over. Its not unusual for people to travel a distance for certain training courses.

I agree. Many of the ones offered to schools in my area are at hotels with some being services for the very reason you said.

Also some training is over the weekend too with time being given back in lieu if staff attend.

I'll try and speak simply and clearly. Meeting colleagues is fine, whether in your snazzy service station with ducks or my scruffy Costa. We can all be friends with whomever.

There are however <Inconveniently for some> boundaries. There are codes pertaining to senior married staff chasing junior married staff.

As an alleged governor if someone raised a concern that a head may be having a fling with their junior you would need to halt Summer fayre planning and look into it.

As I say it's all about boundaries and conduct. Yes we don't know the facts but that is what the fact finding meetings establish y'see.

Unless you saw them you know nothing anyway

So meeting friends is fine. No further comment needed.

So males and females meeting doesn't meet any cause for concern at all. No investigation needed by the school for two adults meeting outside school. Absolutely no cause for concern.

About time we got there finally. Took me to put it into context of two females meeting for you to see how ludicrous it was to ask staff to declare where they were, who with, doing what for every outing or else be guilty of knobbing.

Took you long enough to realise.