Aware of Head Teacher and Teacher affair

[GlitterGold7]

Name changed for this. I’ve become aware that the HT of my DC’s primary school is having an affair with one of the teachers. Both are married.

Would you do anything with this information? It feels utterly morally bankrupt that the HT is abusing his position like this, and I feel so sorry for the partners involved.

Shagging your colleague doesn't mean they do it on school grounds. Are you a bed only person?

Teachers do it only in a school. Police do it only at the station.

Piss funny - you want them to work upaid and get pissy when they do not and assume that they are all fucking in the home corner!

Ah so now you are saying you can only say something if you have the facts. Odd that you can say things about the OP situation without facts. Nice deflection. Absolutely I can say something. Just as the OP can report, I can say things. You cannot stop me.

You can say what you like, quite obviously. I’m simply pointing out it’s correct that you do not know the facts, and if you don’t know the facts then your deduction of what will happen is irrelevant. Its an opinion, nothing further.

What I have said about the OP’s situation is not dependent on the facts. I have said that she is within her rights to report any concerns she may have through the correct channels. Which she is. It’s not necessary for me to know the facts to advise OP of that.

Yes but the HT would be questioned as to what were they doing there together you see. That is the nature of an investigation.

Granted they may lie as they'd be well practised in it and that would be the end of it, or they may admit to their inappropriate relatioship in which case the governors would decide on the correct course of action as identified in their code guidelines which some bonkfest schools seem to have, others don't.

I might have tangled up my responses. I'm referring to a very specific situation, not the OP's dilemma (which isn't a dilemma and she should keep her beak out).

I know the procedure. You do not.

Absolutely no one knows the facts but you saying that teachers should be reported for doing normal things and be investigated for normal things that you and I wouldn't be investigated for. Like going to a hotel.

I'm not assuming or 'getting pissy' <>. Rtft lots of anecdotes about staff unable to control themselves. What's 'piss funny'? A new one on me.

And they can say they do not have to answer.

So they can say none of your business and that has to be taken as an answer. The school do not have a right to know every teacher's move outside of school.

If there is no report of them doing anything bad then the school has to take that as it is. Simple.

Investigation over. Were you there? Yes. What were you doing? Nothing to do with you. Have I been reported as doing something wrong? No. Well then that is all.

Investigation complete.

If you have a bonkfest school then stop sending your child to see teaching fucking. That is a huge concern that you are sending your kid in when the teachers are screwing in the classrooms and you are not reporting it!

What a parent you are!

'And they can say they do not have to answer'

Yes as i said if having a fling and married lying will be second nature however they'd know people were on to them so surely they control themselves going forward.

I didn’t say the teachers should be reported ‘for doing normal things like going to a hotel’. I said the OP is within her rights to report her concerns.

I didn’t say the teachers ‘should be investigated’ I said that the governors can assess the concern.

The person who witnessed them at the hotel knows the facts.

'If you have a bonkfest school then stop sending your child to see teaching fucking. That is a huge concern that you are sending your kid in when the teachers are screwing in the classrooms and you are not reporting it! What a parent you are!'

No no you're getting mixed up it wasn't me who said that about bonkfest schools, it was others.

Ours have long since left school thank God. Their teachers may have been bonking I wasn't aware of it but now you mention it it may explain some of the incompetence and ineptitude.

You are describing here the school assessing the concern. I’m glad you got there in the end.

I would not report this.

Later down the line if the affair became public and confirmed, I have to say I would not like the idea of my kids’ head and teacher having an affair. I don’t really know why, it would make me think they lacked integrity and professionalism I guess somehow

Yes, but I didn't agree that that had happened in any school I'd worked in.

And that is not lying, that is not sharing.

They could say I was in the hotel having a drink with Mrs X. No action can be taken.

They could say I was in the hotel but I am not able to say why as it is private (as another poster pointed out this person could be helping them in an abuse situation)

They could say I was at the hotel and talking (could be about starting a business etc). No action can be taken.

Just because two people were at a hotel doesn't mean they were up to no good.
Just because two people will not say what they were doing doesn't mean they were up to no good.
Just because they were talking or having a drink doesn't mean they were up to no good.

Just because you cannot think of any reason to meet a man other than for sex says more about you than anyone else.

But that is what they are being reported for. Doing normal things.

She is reporting them for doing normal things like going to a hotel.

Governors can assess it and two people doing normal things doesn't need assessing.

This isn't assessing the concern. This is just saying were they there - yes or no.

Nothing about that assesses the concern. As it doesn't do anything about the knobbing concern. Only were they there or not.

What assessment is happening? Nothing.

That’s only true if the interaction seen was ‘normal’. You don’t know if it was or not.

You said you know that schools are full of teachers fucking as they can't reply to emails as they are busy having sex.

Of course you sent your children to a shit school and didn't do anything about it, who is incompetent then? You as a parent!

You are getting pissy saying they were too busy knobbing to answer emails.

They are teaching so they cannot answer emails. I imagine you are the parent who emails at 9am when the teachers are already teaching demanding something by midday and then send another arsey email as to why they haven't replied. Then sending more throughout the day - as they are working they do not see it. Then by the end of the school day you are that pissy that you get shirty at the school gate.

As I said, you want them to work unpaid out of hours. They cannot reply when they are teaching, basic common sense could be applied here! Once they stop working they are not being paid.

You are incorrect.

If a governor either 1) takes time to think about the report 2) takes advice from another appropriate person in relation to the report or 3) asks the teachers a question or questions due to the report, then any of those three things is assessing the concern.

Assess means to evaluate the importance or worth of something. If a governor has listened to or read the concern and decided to take further action or not take further action, then that is an assessment of the concern.

Which is why reporting a normal event is pretty ridiculous.

Imagine every time a teacher was seen out of class someone reported them.

Oh Mr Smith was in the park this weekend I think he might be a paedo as he was there alone.

Oh Mrs Greenwood was in the supermarket I suspect she was there to shoplift.

Oh Mr Wardle was at the concert he must be an alcoholic.

This is called gossip.

It takes no time at all. There is no thinking done at all in saying were you there?

It doesn't take any advice to ask if someone was there and it doesn't assess any concern.

They were there - yes. No concern.
They were not there - no. No concern.

Nothing of concern. No assessment done as there isn't anything to assess.

Again why would someone want teachers assessing on normal everyday things like going to a hotel. There is nothing to assess.

They are free to go or not to go. The school cannot dictate that they do or do not.

The school cannot issue any sanctions on teachers doing normal things.

You don’t know if she’d be reporting a normal event or an abnormal event. Because you do not know the details of the event.

It is a normal event going to a hotel.

What is not normal about going to a hotel?

Do you feel abnormal when you go on holiday? What is abnormal about doing that?

The school will not know the details and they have no right to know either.