Aware of Head Teacher and Teacher affair

[GlitterGold7]

Name changed for this. I’ve become aware that the HT of my DC’s primary school is having an affair with one of the teachers. Both are married.

Would you do anything with this information? It feels utterly morally bankrupt that the HT is abusing his position like this, and I feel so sorry for the partners involved.

You don’t know the details. The OP does. She has not shared them on this thread so you do not know them.

She doesn't she wasn't there!!! She thinks they were seen somewhere but as she wasn't there she cannot confirm. Also even if they were there is no law against it and no reason to investigate.

So she can only say - said couple were at a hotel she thinks. Nothing else.

The governors would say....And? Nothing to investigate if they weren't seeing doing anything bad.

Being seen in a place doesn't warrant an investigation.

Would you have posted this if it was your dentist having an affair with your Dental nurse? No - i suspect not.

It’s very clear you are unable to comprehend that you do not have knowledge of what details the OP has and whether the governors would find it significant or not. That’s up to them and they are the right people to handle it.

No one said it was legal, so that’s irrelevant.

Very hard to take discipline and moral code from a HT when their own values don’t match up to same high standards schools are meant to be working in to. Plus possible abuse of power. Plus most workplaces in private sector would react to this. But what can you do?! This was like in Covid when school was telling us all what to do yet you’d see the teachers around town breaking the rules.

My first post (of two) started with this. Here, I was responding to a post that said an affair is only between the partners.

The OP has no knowledge. The OP has said that it is on gossip only.

It becomes legal if someone is using gossip to try and get someone else to be suspended from work without any evidence. Then it certainly does.

Would you be happy if someone tried to report you for child abuse for no reason and with no evidence and get your kids removed from your care because of something they thought and was pure speculation nothing else.

Sorry not sure I follow what you are trying to say. Could you reword it please?

Once again, the governors can decide this based on the information available. They are the in the best position to do so.

No, the OP did not say it was gossip only.

I didn’t say it couldn’t become a legal issue – that’s formed no part of the conversation.

Conjecture on how I would handle a child abuse accusation isn’t relevant.

Yeah she did, she said there were suspicions so gossip. it is gossip as it is being shared as fact when nothing is proven as fact.

The information being that they may or may not have been at a hotel.

Not really any investigation is there?

Oh it very much is relevant as if you think that parents can report teachers just because they think and without any evidence then teachers can do the same to parents without any evidence.

I mean, no issue with that surely as it is only the same being done to the parents that you support being done to the teachers. No?

I would like it if you would answer that as it appears you are avoiding it for a reason.

A concern does not have to be based on a ‘proven fact’. There are many types of information that may cause someone genuine concern. Based on the details of that concern, the governors can decide what to do or not do.

I am not avoiding the question, it just isn’t relevant to the OP’s question. Anyone with genuine concerns about issues of an important nature should report them through the correct channels, yes.

Likewise, 20 for me, no such thing, no HR department to make one up!!

Absolutely it doesn't but there has to be a reason to investigate or else there is no basis to do so.

And the reason can't be "I think" like the OP gives.

There is no reason to investigate as there is nothing that has given a cause for concern.

Reporting that you have a concern that staff are socialising as that is the only 'maybe' event that has happened and is not going to be investigated as it isn't a cause for concern.

Oh it is and you are avoiding it.

Nope doesn't need to be a genuine concern.

It is just if they 'think' or say they 'think'.

That is enough to report you or if they are pissed off with you then that can also be a reason to say 'they think' and you'll lose your kids while they investigate a 'thought'.

A thought is all it needs. If a teacher thinks that idea up then that needs an investigation as if a parent thinks an idea up about a teacher then that warrants an investigation.

Those still arguing you do realise the op flounced off nearly 12 hours ago 🤣

If there national guidelines for governors on this? I don't recall any. I have no idea honestly but suspect it would come to the chair having a quite word at most surely? It would be different in my workplace on paper but in reality it happened. No one cares. Abuse of power manager over junior or not.

If I was a parent at the school I'd be more concerned on the repercussions of whistle blowing on my child. Things I genuinely have valid concerns about ( ie senco copying and pasting last year's ehcp and just changing the date to justify highest band funding possible)..I kept that complaint off the HT and governors radar.

You can easily be marked as a trouble maker difficult parent. How does that help your child? I sorted that low key to the benefit of my child. I'm not putting the ability of the SMT to be moral and compident over my child's future.

Ie is the HT wife's feelngs more important thatn having it taken out on your child? I'm not that ulteristic

Well there is always one who thinks you can report teachers if they go to Tesco for the crime of being in Tesco because a teacher dared leave the school grounds and socialise they must be up to no good! ha ha!

No wonder teachers are leaving with this calibre of parents knocking around!

🤣 I can’t believe some of the comments. Sad. I bet the op is laughing at all the comments.

The OP is probably outside the teacher's house with her binos and notepad! 😂

LAUGH EMOJI!

Also @Fetaface how did you have the patience to try to reason with the previous poster…you must be a saint

I don't suppose there is much reasoning to be had with that one! 😂

If it's true they are cheating they are a couple of sleazy, selfish arseholes as there is never (ever) any excuse for cheating if you are in a partnership you have consented to and agreed not to sleep with other people.

But you don't know what their parameters are - maybe they are all swingers, maybe one or more of them are being abused by their partner. What if you tell someone and her husband finds out and he kills her? I mean, it does happen.

There could be some pretty intense ramifications from discussing this with anyone, I would not as it's not directly affecting you, even if it grosses you out - which is a fair and normal reaction to cheating.

You don't have enough information and it is not directly affecting you, I would tell nobody and stay out of it.

Absolute typical MN batshit from the OP and anyone agreeing! 😂😂😂

And??

Was he hanging out the back of her or were they maybe just getting coffees? 😂

The OP doesn’t say ‘I think’. She says she’s ‘become aware’. And you do not know any of the details in her becoming aware. Please stop pretending you do.

Luckily OP can do what she wants here, so nothing you post can prevent that.