Aware of Head Teacher and Teacher affair

[GlitterGold7]

Name changed for this. I’ve become aware that the HT of my DC’s primary school is having an affair with one of the teachers. Both are married.

Would you do anything with this information? It feels utterly morally bankrupt that the HT is abusing his position like this, and I feel so sorry for the partners involved.

This with bells on…you’ve really hit the nail on the head here

Clearly it’s spreading round the school like wildfire. Everybody - including both their partners - will know soon enough. You don’t need to be the one who breaks the news. This is nothing to do with you. Don’t be the person who forces themselves into other people’s business.

I think it is fucking shocking that parents falsely accuse so often but here we are.
What a way to model behaviour to your kids.

I’m referring to fact that you stated a thread how bitterly disappointed and upset you are that none of your colleagues marked a big birthday of yours!

given your dh is one of your close colleagues, I’m surprised!

If they are having this affair, then yes. So if the OP has concerns about it she should report it. The governors can deal with it.

I do not and have not claimed to know whether they are or not. The question is whether the OP should report or not.

You do not know what was seen at the hotel as the OP did not give that information. The OP knows, so she can either report if she has concerns, or the person in question who saw them can report. Once again, witnessing something is not ‘stalking. Using highly emotive language without evidence to it is not useful in establishing if issues are there and what they are.

I never said that teachers aren’t within their rights to seek legal counsel - so that’s irrelevant.

No I wouldn’t do anything about it - none of my business and you can’t possibly know the ins and outs. When I was at school my friend’s dad was having an affair fair with our teacher! My friend even used to say at our teacher’s house!

There is no information to be had. Someone said they saw them. She never saw them. She doesn't even know this event happened or they were there - she just knows gossip. It is gossip about the hotel as it is not even confirmed.

She doesn't have enough information to say they were there yet you are happy to ruin lives on someone else's gossip that might not even have happened. Yet you are saying she should report gossip she doesn't know even occurred and doesn;t have any information herself.

Oh yes the OP is within her rights as are the teachers within their rights to take legal action against the parent.

'When I was at school my friend’s dad was having an affair fair with our teacher! My friend even used to say at our teacher’s house!'

That is appalling. Your poor friend.

What is it with teachers… I tutor so I know and am friends with a lot of teachers and they’re shagging like rabbits!! How are you getting all your marking done?

I will say though, I went to a staff night out with a mate once and it was genuinely wild. I worked in hospitality for years and I thought our staff nights out were crazy… tame in comparison.

OP, it’s none of your business. Leave it.

'Oh yes the OP is within her rights as are the teachers within their rights to take legal action against the parent.'

I don't think you can 'take legal action' against someone who discloses concerns in a confidential manner via the appropriate channels.

There are no concerns, there is nothing that points to 'affair'.No information that says this is happening at all. Just someone said (may not even be true) that they saw them. Wow, such a concern.

Absolutely I do not know what was seen - or even if they were there. You are telling her to report something she doesn't even know happened. It isn't confirmed they were even there - just gossip from 5 mouths over.

The OP doesn't know. She didn't see them. So no she doesn't know a thing. She didn't witness anything. So yes reporting something you didn't see or hear or know has happened and could be false is her choice.

I know you were referring to that, I got that. He is in management…he was disappointed for me too but he could hardly say anything could he. He did his own thing obviously outside of work but he’s not going to rally up the troops in work was he…he’s not that way inclined for anyone in work so naturally he’s not going to make exceptions for me.

That’s why I said the person in question who saw them can report it if they have concerns. The OP is also within her rights to report her concerns too. Whether you think she should or not is not relevant – it’s simply true that she is.

You can take legal action against someone who makes false accusations about something they didn't see or hear and it just gossip which causes you implications as a result.

People who get worked up about other people's sex lives are generally unsatisfied with their own.

I was a teacher for 20+ years and have also worked in various other non-education settings and can say, without a doubt, that schools are a hotbed of shagging. If I had £1 for every affair or Friday night post-pub shag I knew about, I could have retired years ago! Happens in EVERY school.

No, OP didn’t detail the account. She gave it briefly, in about 20 words. We do not know the details of it. If OP is concerned by the details, then she can report or the person who saw it can.

I didn’t tell her to report it. I told her if she has concerns then she should report it. She can weigh up what her concerns are and make a decision. The governors can also weigh up the concerns and make a decision.

The person who saw something bad happen can report and given nothing bad happened it was just two people standing in a hotel there isn;t anything to report. Otherwise they are not reporting anything. They are harassing as it is not a concern.

Reporting people at a hotel as a concern that you do not even know were there is not a concern, it is harassment.

Reporting seeing two people on a car bonnet is a concern.

Oh she most certainly can but the school cannot discipline anyone for being at a hotel or investigate why they were there as that is their right to a private life. They would say sorry two people have a right to be at the same place at the same time.

If they saw them there pissed and mouthing off or fingering her in the bar then that would be a different issue. As it stands this was just two people in a hotel which is not a concern.

According to you she is also within her rights to report them when they are at Tesco at the weekend as a concern because teachers shouldn't be outside and with another colleague or it is suspicious. How ridiculous if someone reported someone at Tesco?

He couldn’t have said…. It’s @Upsetbetty ’s big birthday? Maybe when they were planning your other colleagues birthday he could have at least mentioned?!

Keep him away from D&T…
if you know , you know!

I didn’t say the school can discipline anyone for it. I said the governors can weigh up the concern.

And no I never said that or inferred it – once again, please feel free to direct quote where I have.

Why would they investigate it? They do not have a reason to as they were just at a hotel which they can do. I'm off swimming with my teacher friend now. Should she be investigated because someone saw her socialising?

That is all that has been seen - if they were seen. That they were socialising. Which is not a cause for concern nor is is breaching any rules nor is is not allowed as two teachers. Nor is it suspicious. Nothing about it is a concern.

It is a joke when someone meeting outside of work is reported as being up to no good so the employer investigates all their movements. Shocking.

The Governors might already know. If there’s anything to know, that is.

It’s up to them whether they have cause to investigate it or not based on the details of either OP’s concern or any other parents or staff who report a concern to them.

They knew it was my birthday.
they all said happy birthday.
anyway this thread is not about that but thank you.☺️ I’m off to bed now.